Category Archives: blogging

huge political girl boner for hillary.

So I considered live-blogging Hillary’s speech but then I got nervous because Kathleen is way smarter than me when it comes to politics. Now I wish I had live-blogged it. From a nerdy rhetoric student’s point of view, and a weepy patriot’s point of view, and the point of view of some one who thinks Barack Obama looks damn good in a suit, that was a GOOD speech.

She got the weepy stories in; she did some great McCain bashing; and she did an excellent job hammering home the message of “HEY CRAZY LADIES! Voting for McCain or voting for no one is NOT the way to honor my campaign’s legacy. VOTE FOR BARRY!” or something to that effect. And that Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit comment? The Harriet Tubman rhetoric at the end? Killer. Love her right now. 

And I will say, though the orange suit complemented Hill’s skin tone, I thought orange was an interesting choice for the patriotic overload that is a convention. With all the Obama campaign’s branding strategy, I thought it was odd that they allowed Hillary and Chelsea to appear next to each other wearing orange and black. Anyway, Michelle looked great, as per usual, and Joe Biden has really white teeth. 

Stay tuned for Kathleen’s potentially more legit commentary, once she gets off the Pepsi Center floor. Lucky bitch.

P.S. I spoke to my mom before the speech, and she said she and my dad were also getting ready to watch. This shocked me a little, because my dad is a bit of a diehard Republican. My mom was talking about how they were kind of bashing Hillary on the teevee commentary and I was like whaaaa?, because I was watching NBC. Of course my parents were watching Fox, because my dad said it was “the most neutral station.” Tee hee. 

P.P.S. I’m watching Fox now because I got curious, and Charles Krauthammer is speaking. Like a month ago I applied to be his research assistant. Never heard back, shockingly. It was one of those jobs that you just have to send in your resume for, so don’t judge me.

[Posted by Mallory]

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blogging from the dnc, day 1.

So I wrote this yesterday, but couldn’t post it until today. Some live blogger I am.

So here I am, trying to live blog from the convention, yet I find myself live blogging from Boston Logan airport. Such is life. I was, however, lucky that my flight delay coincided perfectly with Michelle Obama’s speech (I only caught part of Sen. Ted Kennedy’s. What I did see, however, was spectacular). I was weeping openly during the video narrated by her mother. And her speech was just incredible. I think that if anybody had any questions about who she was, they were all answered. She gave us a poignant account of who she is and what she has done with her own life. Her brother spoke well when he said that they were proud of her not just because who she had married, but because she was an exemplary public servant in her own right. There was a wonderfully executed balance between showing us who Michelle is without losing sight of Barack. Ahh I love her.

As if you couldn’t already tell how I felt about M.O., here is my gchat gush fest with Caroline, college friend and the witty mastermind behind drunkinarowboat.

Caroline: SHE IS AMAZING
me: i am drooling all over myself
and weeping openly
Caroline: like she should be a movie star
me: i am a mess
Caroline: ive BAWLED LIKE FIFTEEN TIMES
me: her hair looks beautiful
Caroline: I KNOW
love the green
her in that orange dress and bow at age four???
me: oh my god i fell apart

Professional analysis for sure. CNN, yes, I will work for you. All you have to do is ask. Oh and the part with the girls? Perfect. I want the Obamas in the White House. Right. Now.

Once we got into the Denver airport (which is GIGANTIC), it was about 1:30 in the morning. Of course, there were no taxis or shuttles in sight. After calling two cabs and two shuttles, one cab eventually showed up and we finally got to the hotel around 4 a.m. (6 a.m. my time) Damnnnn.

I’m tired, but I’m fired up and ready to go. I will be just like Anderson Cooper (sigh) and let you know everything that goes on. I brought my camera, but not my camera cord, so pictures will be posted on Friday or Saturday. And I will be stalking George Clooney and all other celebrities like it’s my job. (UPDATE: I might be seeing Ben Affleck tonight!)

You know you love me. I love you back.
– Your SWTCTW DNC Correspondent

ps- In case you live under a rock:

[Posted by Kathleen]

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kids will google the weirdest things!

One of the nerdier aspects of having a blog is that you can see which search terms people used to stumble across it. These, as you can imagine, are often hysterical and probably a little too entertaining. Here are a few from the past couple of days with my comments and best guess as to what it pulled up next to it. Please note the spelling and grammar.

“tru blood cellular specialist” Tru without the e? Gangsta. Click here.

“sucking katy perry’s boobies” I mean really, who hasn’t Googled this? Click here.

“silly old man” This can only mean one thing. John McCain. Click here, here, here, here or here.

“what does the olypic maskots look like” Answer: Pokemon. And based on the spelling, I’m guess the user is familiar with Pokemon. Click here.

“kevin bacon speedos” Rawr. Wouldn’t it be great if he had his own line of Speedos? Click here.

“super dance youtube sexxy” Uhhh… click here?

Oh, the things people will Google. I hope we don’t disappoint.

Still waiting on that Obama VP decision. Last minute guesses? I’m leaning towards Rep. Chet Edwards or Joe Biden… text me already, B!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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update on my east coast adventures.

It seems that every so often, Kathleen or I get busy with exciting things going on in our real lives, and then we write a post apologizing for our embarrassing lack of blogging. I clearly just took a little hiatus myself, so let’s get you updated on my life, shall we?

The reason I’ve been more or less out of commission the past few days is that I made a huge, grown-up move to Washington DC. Hooray for me! I’m so mature that I even ordered our cable and Internet and bought (and put together!) my own bed. Chuckle all you want, but these things are huge for me. We didn’t have to do that stuff at my college. (Side story about the bed: I ordered it from Craigslist from this stranger boy, and arranged for it to be dropped off the next morning, while I was alone in my apartment. I told my mother this plan, and she immediately freaked out and assumed that I would be raped and murdered by said stranger boy. So naturally, I Facebooked him to see if I could gauge his rapist tendencies. Turns out, we sort of have a mutual friend, and also, he’s a professional lacrosse player. He didn’t rape or murder me, and now I get to sleep where a professional athlete once slept. Take that, Mom.)

Aside from slowly becoming a huge fake adult for the past few days, I’ve also been up in New York/New Jersey visiting some of my best friends from college. I hadn’t seen any of them all summer, and I was insanely excited to be reunited. The weekend did not disappoint.

For starters, I got to see the Counting Crows live, which made me giddy because they are my favorite band and I’d only seen them once before. Katie and I maybe had a little too much cheap wine before the concert, and we maybe forgot to eat dinner, and Katie maaaybe slept through Maroon 5, who opened, but it was still wonderful. I don’t care if Adam Duritz is old and kind of unattractive; he has dreadlocks and I’d like to marry him. 

The rest of the weekend was filled with straight-up college-style debauchery, just as we hoped. There was drinking, excessive eating, obnoxious dancing, and enough stories to fill several books. Here are some highlights (and I truly wish I didn’t have to censor these, but if I’m ever going to change the world, people have to think I’m respectable): 

  • Katie’s poor boyfriend having to meet all FOUR of Katie’s parents at once. It was so fun to watch. Katie’s dad and stepmom were coming home to meet the boy (whom we will call “DJ”), so Katie’s mom decided that she would come over with her own boyfriend and add to the awkwardness. I must say, DJ performed quite well.
  • DJ telling me I look like Karen from Californication. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME?! She is my idol, and I don’t know that any compliment will ever again make me as happy as that one did. 
  • The fact that Madeline and I actually won two out of three pong games to win the only portion of Beer Olympics that we actually paid attention for. Have I mentioned that I’m TERRIBLE at pong?
  • The end of my vegetarianism. Did I not totally predict this shit? The offending meats were breakfast sausage and pepperoni, obviously.
  • Making friends with all of our NYC cab drivers. We met the greatest people! One man, Ram Lama, was a sherpa in Everest who worked as the head sherpa on like a million expeditions. I’ve never understood why sherpas don’t get more credit. We freak the fuck out when some American white dude climbs Everest, but sherpas climb it regularly. Without oxygen. While carrying all of the American white dudes’ crap. It’s amazing. We also met a Pakistani cab driver who essentially said that because I dressed like a whore, I could never be a Muslim. (And, for the record, I was not really dressed like a whore. My dress just happened to be, er, a little short.) I proceeded to get in a bit of a religious debate with this driver while my friends laughed from the backseat. 
Exciting things that did NOT happen this weekend: I didn’t get to ride in the Cash Cab. Sigh. Maybe next time.

 

[Posted by Mallory]

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see this cake? don’t eat it.

As much as I like to promote my own blog (and wittiness), I must give major kudos to this blog, http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/. They have truly combined some of my favorite things and turned it into a heeeeeesterical bloggy. Frosting, cake and snark. Yummy. Highlights include bad punctuation, horrible spelling, colors that make you want to have a seizure and just general grossness. Here’s a picture to tempt you. Enjoy.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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thoughts on bourbon, blogging, and SAHMs.

Confession: I have a new girl crush/idol in the world of bloggy women. Her name is Heather B. Armstrong, and she is snarky and wonderful. On her blog, Dooce, she describes herself as a “Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) or a Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker.” (And really, she’s not exactly a stay at home mom, because that implies that she doesn’t work. Really, her blog is so successful that both Heather and her husband work full time on keeping the blog witty and awesome and, you know, functioning.) Plus Heather says that she “love[s] bourbon, chips and salsa, Britpop, and television that excels at being really awful.” Hellooo, kindred spirit. She even looks cool and witty and like the kind of girl you’d want to go have drinks with then maybe dance on a table and meet some strangers and have a late-night breakfast burrito from 7-Eleven:

I’ve decided that I want to be just like Heather when I grow up. I would like to be snarky and fun and irreverent and have a cute husband, perfect daughter, and a job that lets me hang out in my PJs all day, presumably drinking bourbon and eating chips and salsa as the wit escapes my brain through my fingertips. Not such a bad thing to aspire to, eh?

Here’s an excellent excerpt from Heather’s FAQ:

“I’m surprised you haven’t been reported to child welfare with how public you are about some of the things you think and do regarding your daughter. Paper towels are very dangerous for your daughter to chew on. She could suffocate. don’t let her be alone with them. I’m amazed at how foolish you can be sometimes.”

When you call DCFS, please get the story straight. Not only do I leave her alone with paper towels, I set her in the middle of a flea-infested floor and surround her with sharp objects and porn. Then I turn on a wood-burning stove in the corner of the room and seal all the windows. Before I leave the room and lock the door, I stick a bottle full of vodka in her mouth, to muffle the screaming.

Heather, I dig you. I also hope that one day Kathleen and I will actually be important enough to have an FAQ section. I don’t think we’ve received any questions, unless you count the marriage pleas from the millions of attractive bachelors. Okay now go read Dooce and be happy.

[Posted by Mallory]

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colorado’s got mountains, mccain, and ME!

In case you hadn’t heard amidst the news of the Barackstar hanging out in Germany, John McCain will be in the great state of Colorado today. Woo hoo! While driving to work this morning, I passed the Grand Hyatt where McCain will speak to a group of veterans, and I was relieved, for his sake, to see that there were actually reporters there. (We’re clearly not huge fans of Johnny here at SWTCTW, but I’m starting to almost pity the old guy. Did you hear about how he watched Obama’s speech to four billion Germans from a German restaurant in Ohio? Oh, John.)

I wanted to liveblog McCain’s speech today, but then I realized that a) I’m not a veteran and thus wouldn’t be allowed into the event, b) I have to work today, and c) even if those other two things weren’t true, my laptop is so fragile and close to death that it cannot leave the house. So, no liveblogging.

[Posted by Mallory]

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everyone deserves music. and ice water.

As Kathleen mentioned, we are very sorry for being so delinquent the past few days. It may not seem like it, but blogging is stressful! Sometimes you just don’t want to blog, but then your millions of fans (or your sister) are all “Heeey why no blogging the past few days?? I’m angry! Write more!”

The reason for my lack of blogging is that I had a visitor this past weekend and was out actually living my life. Exciting, right? (I was extremely proud of myself for not looking at the blog for a full three days…normally I can’t last three minutes). My friend Katie was visiting from Maine, so we were running around doing lots of fun things. Most notably, we attended the Mile High Music Festival, which was absolutely amazing but also absolutely exhausting. Sitting out for hours in 95 degree heat is not exactly relaxing.

The first day of the concert, Kelsey, my sister Maddy, Katie, and I came — we thought — well-prepared, with snacks, flasks hidden under our dresses, and plenty of water. We didn’t consider the fact that water warms up pretty quickly when it has no ice in it, and so by about 2:00 p.m., our water was a few degrees away from boiling. From 3:00 to 4:00, I actually thought I might die. I was sort of limping from stage to stage, clutching my throat, and begging every beer man I saw for some of the ice that was keeping the beers cold. (“Please sir! Can I have some ice?!”)

Though my martyrdom was reaching epic proportions, I was aware that I wasn’t the only one at the concert who was dying of heat. It was very entertaining to see people fighting for the tiniest amounts of shade in the strangest of places: under a large pole, behind a row of porta-potties, beside a trash can, etc. People were getting desperate, man.

Luckily, things cooled off by about 5:00, and then everyone stepped away from the porta-potties, regained their senses, and focused on the music. It was about this time that we were upgraded to VIP tickets, which means we got free beer and wine, free food, a nice cool tent to sit in, and shuttle rides from stage to stage. Baaaaaller. Then we got to see Spoon, which got us all going (read: dancing like crazy, unashamed hippies). It was Michael Franti and Spearhead, however, that made the weekend for me.

Now, I’m not a huge Michael Franti fan. It’s not that I don’t like him; I just don’t know a lot of his stuff. But Katie, being the best fake hippie among us, wanted us all to go, and we obliged. His show was awesome. He had that intangible thing that only a few artists have that makes a concert truly kickass, whether or not you know the music. He had everyone in the crowd dancing like maniacs, and he was clearly having a great time, which makes a huge difference. After his performance, we were all blissfully happy and more or less remained that way for the rest of the weekend.

I won’t go through every single performance we saw over the course of the weekend (that could take a while), but let’s talk about John Mayer for a second.

The entire festival was extremely well-organized, and as part of that, all of the artists were very punctual. They started and ended exactly when they were supposed to, every time. So we’re all lounging around waiting for John Mayer to come on at 6:00 on Sunday, and at 5:30 people start cheering. We stand up and see that some dude has taken the stage and has begun to sing “Start Me Up.” We were confused. Our conversation went a little something like this:

“Wait, that can’t be John Mayer.”

“Yeah, why would he start so early?”

“And why would he be wearing a tank top?”

“And why would he open with a cover?”

“And since when is his entire left arm tattooed?”

“It must just be some random filler guy that they put onstage to kill time.”

“It really sounds like John Mayer, though.”

“Oh my god, is he wearing CAPRIS?”

The stranger onstage was, indeed, John Mayer, and he was, indeed, wearing a tank top, manpris, and black tennis shoes. Ouch. Other than the frightening wardrobe choice (where’s the womanly influence, Jen?), he was looking pretty good. Especially when he took his shirt off for the last song (sure, it was a little unnecessary, but who am I to complain?):

John, have you been working out?

Anyway…the concert was fabulous and you should all come next year. We’ll have a special SWTCTW section, with lots of ice and Coors Light.

Before I wrap this up, I have to recognize the two MVP’s of the concert. First, Mr. Michael Franti for reasons stated above:

Okay one more of him, courtesy of Katie, just because these are cool photos:

The second MVP award goes to Dave Matthews’ drummer, Carter Beauford, for being the jolliest human I have ever seen:

Carter, I dig you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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who has hobbies these days, anyway?!

I recently got an email from my grad school requesting some information for an internal “facebook” that will be passed out to faculty, staff, and other students. It asked for all the basic, easy stuff — undergraduate university, undergraduate major, favorite food — and then it hit me with a doozie: it asked for my hobbies. Uhhh…

I mean, who has hobbies anymore? In a perfect world, I’d be able to write “calligraphy, birdwatching, knitting, table tennis, and volunteering with refugees from Kazakhstan.” But folks, it ain’t a perfect world. If I were to be honest, I’d list “lounging, blogging, watching Jon & Kate Plus 8, drinking outdoors, eating, hanging out with friends, and, uhh, sleeping?” among my hobbies. Those don’t cut it, either. I turned to my sister for advice:

Maddy: Well, you like sitting.

Mallory: Maddy, I KNOW, but that doesn’t count. What about baseball games? I like baseball games! I’m watching one right now!

Maddy: You only like baseball games when you are eating a hot dog and drinking a beer and sitting in the Rockpile, where you don’t even have to watch the game.

Mallory: Touche. Ummmm…I’ve been, uh, running a lot lately…

Maddy: “A lot” might imply that you run marathons. You occasionally run for 20 minutes, and you hate every second of it.

Mallory: Concerts! I like going to concerts!

Maddy: [Rolls eyes.]

You see my dilemma. I settled on the following list of hobbies: reading (I really do like that! It’s generic, but whatever, beggars can’t be choosers); writing (I blog, and email my friends a lot); biking (well, see, I biked tons last summer and I think that if I put air in the tires, I’d actually use my bike a lot!); swimming (I used to be a swimmer in high school; now I enjoy sunbathing); and spending time with my friends (read: eating and drinking. A lot).

Sigh. Maybe my grandma can teach me to needlepoint.

[Posted by Mallory]

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a little something for your weekend.

Unfortunately, I won’t be blogging much this weekend. But to get you through, I have compiled a list of links that I most likely would have blogged about or find interesting enough to share, and you’ll have to use your imagination to think of what Mal and/or I would say about them.

This story about siblings torn apart by the Holocaust and being reunited after 66 years made me cry more than watching the video of Christian the Lion. No jokes and nothing snarky to say–there is good in this world.

Here is an interesting piece on Wall-E. The first negative thing I’ve read and it brings up some valid points. Still haven’t seen the movie though. What do you think?

People are over medicated, and our dogs are next. Here is a piece from the NYT Magazine. Since I’m not going to, make all the jokes you want. Make me proud.

There’s going to be a DC version of “The Hills”. I’m pissed, because I wanted to be in it. My idea for a show title was just “The Hill”. Clever, I know. Ha. Shockingly, they went for more party oriented than political party oriented girls…

I love baby names, and I might give someone a candy bar or something to let me name their child. But give up a gas card? HELL NO. Have you seen the price of gas? This story is so wrong on so many levels. I LOVE IT. These people are nutso. Maybe I should do something like this. I bet I could come up with something better than Sunday Rose. Ugh.

And finally, a slideshow of supermodels then and now. Claudia Schiffer is still pretty hot. And girl don’t even get me started on Tyra.

Dunzo. Enjoy. Comment. Have adventures. Miss me. XOXO.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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