You know that here at SWTCTW, we love the bizarre. We practically live for it. So this picture naturally caught my eye. Meet Svetlana Pankratova, the Russian woman with the world’s longest legs. Her legs measure 52 inches long. Um that’s over FOUR FEET LONG. Wowza.
And no, she didn’t just give birth standing up to a tiny well-dressed baby, that’s He Pingping, the world’s smallest man. He is 2 feet and 5.37 inches tall. The odd couple met up at Trafalgar Square for a fairly creepy photoshoot for the 2009 Guinness Book of World Records.
He Pingping runs a restaurant back home in China (or Mongolia, I have conflicting reports) and, as it turns out, is a bit of a romantic. When asked about his gf (she’s regular sized, I know you were dying to know), he said, “I always miss her when I’m not with her.” AWWWWWWWW! He Pingping!
Other records: Britney Spears as the most-searched person on the Internet and “Lost” as the most-downloaded show of all time.
It is the end of an era. Really, it is. Total Request Live, MTV’s show aimed at the 12-15 crowd (so that means you start watching when you’re 10, and stop when you’re 14…and occasionally turn it on when you’re 16 or 17…just because it’s on) is ending it’s 10 year run in November. WAHHHHHHH. I feel my post-college depression kicking in yet again. And like last time, when they changed the game of Clue, Cheez-Its will soothe my pain.
So what are we really losing? Here is how TRL is described on the MTV Web site:
At TRL, we bring you the latest, greatest music videos, bangin’ live performances and the hottest celebs. First, we combine your online votes, with the top songs and artists from all the places you go for music — mtv.com, downloads, music charts, ringtones, radio and more — to create the hottest, most all-inclusive music countdown.
Wowie, this is serious. This show is important. People are enfranchised, there are great music videos, hot celebs, and of course we can’t forget the banging’ live performances. And an opportunity for girls to act like this when the Jonas Brothers come to town. Okay, I just love this picture and want to use it all the time.
Here’s the thing–I haven’t watched TRL since the Backstreet Boys (sigh. Why are you such a screw up, Nick Carter? We were supposed to get mawwwied!) but I’m still kind of sad. And Carson Daly hasn’t been on the show mimicking not only the clothing style of whoever his guest was, but also the verbal style, since 2003. Now I’m all sappy and reminiscing. Remember when Carson dated Tara Reid?!
Sick. Oh and another scary thought, Carson is 35 years old now.
I’m just sad that future generations won’t be able to talk about TRL the way my friends and I can. It’s sort of like when we talk about how good MTV’s Undressed was, my brother has no clue what we’re talking about. At least I hope he doesn’t. That show was wayyy inappropriate for him at the time. Me too, I guess.
Anyway, I leave you with a music video, circa 2000, that is the only proper way to end this post and bid farewell to TRL:
Because I have a vagina (just like Sarah Palin!), I watch Gossip Girl. Whatever, we’re addicted to this kind of mindless crap here at SWTCTW. My roommate Sarah and I have been catching up with the new season via iTunes, and today we actually watched an episode in real time. I know, we’re impressive.
Now, it’s not like I expect Gossip Girl to blow my mind with intelligent plots and complex characters, but last season was delightfully scandalous and trashy and fun to watch, while this season is shaping up to be a glorified soap opera. I mean, they included a citywide blackout as part of the plot. As my roomie said, “Oh, right. Because those are SO COMMON.” Basically Chuck is starting to drive me nuts, as is Serena and her inappropriate outfits and inability to act. On the other hand, I’m sort of into the Nate/Vanessa subplot because they would produce the most beautiful offspring EVER. Oh, and also…did Dan not get WAY hotter?
Major emo alert on this next one…
Dan/Penn, call me. We’ll be tortured and emo together. I’m totally into that these days.
The woman who made wearing glasses sexy is back. Tina Fey, I love you. And now she is back on SNL as highly under-qualified Alaska Governor Sarah Palin–and she’s great at it. Even the obnoxious accent is right. Enjoy.
RIP Don LaFontaine, the man with a voice that made us want to see every movie…even if we didn’t know why. LaFontaine, who was 68, lent his voice to over 5,000 movie trailers and 750,000 teevee spots in a 33 year career. Damnnnnn. I think this is a nice picture.
Here’s Don working his magic in the Geico commerical:
So I quasi-live blogged the show with the hottest cast EVER, quasi-not.
Quick thoughts:
Croquet, pastels and cocktails. It’s GG. And it’s on crack–and by crack I mean the Hamptons. Thirty seconds in and these crazy kids are already getting it on! God I missed this show. Rawr. WHY WAS I NOT THAT HOT AT 16? Or 17. Or 18. Or 19…this is getting depressing. Whatever.
Oooh Dunkin’ Donuts product placement on Rufus’ tour bus. My New England trained eye could spot a DD logo anywhere.
Drama with Blair and “Chuck Basstard” about a pin. What is this? 1950? LAME.
Speaking of Chuck. I think they’ve taken this “I’m Chuck Bass” thing a little too far. Taking good characters from the first time around and putting them on steroids for all subsequent appearances is a common mistake. I like to call it the Stifler Syndrome. In the first American Pie movie, Stifler was absurd yet oddly believable. And kind of funny. I mean, he does get peed on. With each AP movie, (AP 2, American Wedding) he became a caricature of himself and utterly obnoxious. He is practically the star of American Wedding. Teevee God (aka script writers and producers) help us. I WANT OLD CHUCK BACK.
Let’s take a second to acknowledge Serena’s hair at the White Party. She looked like a goddess, for sure. But the hair was so over the top. It looked like golden snakes wound in with the Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves lovechild hair extensions. Her hair = a hot tranny mess. Despite having hair of the Medusa persuasion, Blake Lively is stunning and I want to be her. (Blake and Penn–never ever ever ever break up. Ya’ll are the new Seth and Summer/Adam and Rachel. Don’t fail us like they did.)
I have a friend who believes Blair Waldorf is his soulmate. Best of luck to you, friend, because a) she’s not real and b) this bitch is back in full force. (Is it just me or did she look like she got into a nasty brawl with a spray tan booth? Ummm Blair it was the White Party, not the Orange and White party.) And dating a British lord who pretended to be an American that went to Princeton so that people liked him for his pretentious, rich American elitist self and not his pretentious, rich British elitist self? My mind is blown. First of all, this makes me yearn for the days when Prince William was still a dreamboat (sigh). But really, GG? You’re going to give us all false hopes that this tomfoolery actually happens? And that a British Lord wants me to like him for him and not just his title? Disney already ruined me. This might break me.
As Kristen Bell’s voice familiarly closed the episode with “You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl”, I have to say, I don’t think I did love this Gossip Girl. The scripts were never good, but this was dreadful. I love me some bad teevee shows and my expectations are wayyyyyy lower than they should be, but I at least expect the dialogue to be tolerable at best.
But the clothes were amazing. And I’ll still watch next week. Mission accomplished.
On another note, I am obsessed with the song played in the opening scene. It is my new favorite summer/end of summer (wahhhhhhh) song and I am embarrassed. I am embarrassed because one half of the band, Shwayze, is Mischa Barton’s ex-bf. Remember Cisco Adler? Yup. Now he can be known for something other than looking like the younger brother of Weird Al and being the former lovah of the worst character on the OC and a Keds spokeswoman. Basically this song is the 2008 version of LFO’s “Summer Girls”. Stop judging me, jerks.
As much as I want to, I can’t really hate Sarah Palin–oh don’t get me wrong–this has nothing to do with the bonds of sisterhood. I absolutely ABHOR her positions on, well, everything. And her early 90s mall girl bangs. But she is so much fun to write about and make fun of that I can’t help but be slightly appreciative of her very existence. And I’m not alone. It’s like John McCain took his happy pills and threw us all a softball. And leave it up to All-Star Jon Stewart to hit it out of the park. Jon Stewart, you are my hero.
So watch this clip with Jon and Samantha Bee, a self described “Vagina-American” (HAHA!), as she oh-so-sarcastically talks about why she’ll vote for McCain. You will for sure pick up some new anatomical terminology as well. (I’m talking about lady parts. Teehee.)
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Huzzah!
And here is some more Daily Show goodness, brought to my attention by Alicia, our South Korea correspondent. What a warm/appropriate welcome for the RNCers!
PS- I promise I’ll start writing about non-political stuff (aka NOT Sarah Palin) again…
Michael Jackson turns 50 today. Out of sheer classiness, I am going to refrain from making jokes about young boys (but it’s difficult). But I will post his quote:
“I feel very wise and sage, but at the same time very young.”
Wise? Nah. Sage? For sure no. But he feels young? I believe him.
And just for kicks, here’s a slideshow of M.J. through the years. My my my, he’s changed:
Your SWTCTW bloggers (and beloved friends) love the show ‘Californication’. For those of you who do not know the show, it’s basically Hank Moody (David Duchovny’s character) having sex with anything that walks. That sounds crass, but it’s a really witty, well-written show that actually has a plot. As you can imagine, I’ve been a leeeeeeeeetle preoccupied singing ‘Kumbaya’ with my fellow Democrats and have been neglecting all other news. So I was surprised/unsurprised to read that Duchovny is going into rehab for a sex addiction. Uh oh. That can’t be good. Here is D’s statement to People Magazine:
“I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.”
He’s married to Téa Leoni. Shame on you for being a dirty boy, David. And it’s sad that life imitates art. But here’s the difference: Hank would nevah evah go to rehab for a sex addiction to try and get better.
six words to change the world. 
