Category Archives: definitely not politics

excuse me? did you say cookies?

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new diet fad. The cookie, that’s right, COOKIE diet. Obviously I got a little too excited when I first read about it and had such high expectations. The man who came up with it (a MAN came up with a cookie diet?) is named Dr. Sanford Siegal.

Apparently all you eat is cookies! Brilliant! Except for the fact that they need to be Siegal’s cookies and not snickerdoodles, chocolate chips, thin mints, tagalongs, sugar cookies or anything else that tastes delicious. You slay me, Dr. Siegal. Also, with the cookie diet you take in a mere 800 calories a day. I like my cookies to be about 800 calories each.

Listen, Sanford– it’s not me, it’s you. I just don’t see things working out between us.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under definitely not politics, food, random

seventeen illegitimate buns in the oven.

Today is all about teen pregnancy! Woooo! First, Jamie Lynn. And by now I’m sure many of you have heard about the 17 Junos at Gloucester High School in Massachusetts. That’s wicked weird! (That was a Massachusetts joke- though I have been known to drop ‘wicked’ every now and then). The craziest part of all is that they WANTED to be preggers! Apparently these baby geniuses made a pact and are excited for their baby showers and to raise their children together.

What ever happened to friendship necklaces?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under babies, definitely not politics, random, sex

jamie lynn is officially a mother.

Jamie Lynn

There’s going to be a new famous tot on the playground: this morning Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to a baby girl, whom she named Maddie Briann. (Excellent spelling there.) You know what this means, don’t you? Britty is an aunt.

[Posted by Mallory]

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dancing with the star wars stars.

Eek. This is not a joke.

It might be slightly painful, but stick it out. If only to hear the ridiculous comments the hosts make. Ex- “I didn’t realize plastic could look that good!” Also, it’s one of the most watched videos online right now.

And by the way, this competition was totally rigged. If I were the other dancers I’d go all Luke Jedi knight and use the force on their asses.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under definitely not politics, random, YouTube

solo cab rides are pretty lonely.

Collegeee

So last night I went out with two of my friends from elementary school (look at the longevity there). We went to a Rockies game, which is always a good time, and then stopped by a bar to see another friend’s band play. Various events in the night got me slightly freaked out about this whole being-an-adult thing (that is, if you consider living at home, temping as a receptionist, and still making bad decisions with alarming frequency being an adult). For starters, at the baseball game we sat in front of these obnoxious kids (including boys who were wearing strangely short shorts) who felt the need to comment on every aspect of the game, and loudly say things like “Should we take the shooters now?” I was blissfully happy eating my burrito, drinking my Coors Light, and staring at the mountains, so I was more entertained than annoyed by these strangers, but from an objective perspective, I could see that they were irritating as hell. My friends and I joked about this and laughed at the antics of these young hooligans, and then I realized…that was me. And I’m not talking that was me like waaay back in college a month ago, but that was me approximately a week ago, at a different Rockies game. People like that aren’t exactly loved by the rest of the population. How long can I get away with shit like this?

After it was clear that the Rockies were going to win (take THAT, Cleveland), we went to the bar to watch my friend’s band play. The band turned out to be awesome, and it was generally a great time. One of the highlights of this little concert was watching the hammered parents of the band members acting like college students, which means they were dancing on tables and making out in corners. This seems to answer the earlier question with a resounding “You can get away with shit like this for a long time! You can get blacked out on a Tuesday and grind up on strangers even when you have children of your own!” And even though I assume, if I’m being honest with myself, that I probably will be one of those parents one day, it still doesn’t seem quite right.

So after watching these drunk adults for a few hours, my elementary school friends left and I decided against my better judgement to stay for a while. After dancing like a hippie to the next band, whose lead singer had one of the greatest Jewfros I’ve ever seen, I started thinking I should go home, and I called a cab. Because my other friends didn’t have important things like filing invoices and answering phones to do the next day, they decided to stay. Which means I had to take a cab home alone. Now, I’m not the type of person who necessarily hates being alone, but I felt self-conscious and pathetic hopping into that yellow sedan all by my lonesome. I knowww that adults do that sometimes — I’ve seen it in the movies — but I didn’t like it.

As much I want to end this bit of rambling with a Carrie Bradshaw-esque conclusion that ties this all together with a neat analogy and an “I couldn’t help but wonder,” (i.e., “And I couldn’t help but wonder…was my fear of being alone in the cab indicative of a larger fear of being alone…forever?), I really don’t know where I’m going with this. I think part of me is still devastated that a night out is no longer a trip to a campus bar where everybody knows your name, you can pay for beer on your meal plan, and you can walk home in five minutes. I’m also not entirely sure what I can do with this borderline-alcoholism that we all pick up in college now that I’m (GASP) not in college. On the weekends, when my drink of choice is still a whiskey coke in shady water bottle form, it’s easier to pretend that nothing’s changed. But this whole “work” thing, this whole “growing up” thing, is really cramping my style. Thank god for grad school.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under definitely not politics, post-college depression

yo, want 2 swing dance 2nite?

Everyone loves a good “how we met” story. You know, the kind that makes movies like Must Love Dogs (uggh, it kills me to think that I’ll never get those two hours of my life back) seem normal. I love it when my parents tell theirs. If you have ever read wedding announcements/seen 27 Dresses or care about that sort of stuff at all, you know the “how we met” story is the icing on the wedding cake.

But with all of the chick flicks out there to let us know how it should be, you know when a “how we met” story is really bad.

Ex- “Well, I was at one end of the bar and he was at the other. After all of his friends had tried with me, I finally agreed when he asked to buy me a drink because he seemed like the nicest and I wanted to have enough money left over for a cab. We ended up making out at the bar and he Facebooked me later that night.”

Here is my favorite though-this one truly takes the, err, wedding cake. An old friend recently got engaged. Out of pure obligation and a touch of nosiness, one of my BFFLs (LYLAS) asked his fiancée how they met. To this the fiancée responded:

“We met on MySpace. You got a problem with that?”

YES, I DO. But that’s because I hate MySpace with the passion of 18 million angry Hillary voters.

Obviously this girl was on the defensive. She knew that her story was anything but cute. She knows how it is perceived, so she lied to her parents. She told her parents they met swing dancing. SWING DANCING. Yup. Just off the top of my head, I can name a few trillion things more believable and plausible than that. But this brings to mind the question: where do you go to meet someone swing dancing? Plus, I don’t know many single dudes that would go to a swing dancing event. But whatev. If that’s the fantasy she wants, let her have it.

When we spend most of our time online and plugged in, it’s no shock (sadly) that it becomes the dating arena. The biggest step you need to make is Facebooking them. From their Facebook you can get a phone number. And then, you can send a text: hey what r u doing tonight.

I don’t condemn it, but I don’t like it. I will condemn it, however, if it has anything to do with MySpace. Is your engagement photo going to be a longarm style black and white pouty face with added sparkles? If that happens to you, lie to me. Because deep down I still have faith that true “how we met” stories can be cute. I, of course, expect to meet the love of my life at a political rally, realize we love the same Disney movies and old movie musicals, talk about Barack, eat lots of ice cream and live happily ever after. But that’s just me.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under crushes, definitely not politics

SATC! COSMOS! OMG! live YOUR life.

I’ve watched every episode of Sex and the City. A few weekends ago, I saw the movie (with my gurrrrrrrlz! Cosmos! LYLAS). I’ve been sucked into this image, and as I lie here on my bed with my Mac (just like SJP! But 100 lbs heavier), I can’t help but wonder…has the quirky narrative of Carrie Bradshaw and company drowned out our own internal monologue?

My life right now is as far from Sex and the City as it could possibly be. I’m not fashionable, I don’t live in a city, and chastity is the name of my game these days. And I seem to be the only person to realize that being pink doesn’t hide the fact that cosmos taste like pure vodka. Despite all of this, there is something so relatable about Sex and the City. And that’s just the problem. It has become a reference for our everyday lives, blurring the lines between reality and fiction. We are part of the Sex and the City generation, and we’re growing up. If you think I’m crazy and over exaggerating the impact the show has had, just know that Aiden was the number one name for boys born in the U.S in 2003. And has been ever since. Coincidence? I think not.

We are also the online generation. The internet has provided numerous ways for us to show the love. Sex and the City, like Grey’s Anatomy, provides a plethora of quotes for girls to use as away messages and favorite quotes on Facebook. Examples ripped from the profiles of my loved ones:

“So just live. Make mistakes, and have wonderful times, but never ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly, where it is that you are going.”

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

For more just fabulous material and to find the perfect profile quote, please visit http://www.sexandthecityquotes.com/. Yup. There’s an entire Web site devoted to it.

In the Sex and the City world and now the real world, we are asked to identify ourselves by character. In fact, there are t-shirts out there that say “I’m a Samantha” (so you’re a slut?), “I’m a Charlotte” (WASPy prude?), “I’m a Miranda” (bitch?) or “I’m a Carrie” (emotional train wreck?) For the record, I’m a hybrid. I believe I’m a Carrie/Miranda, but who knows? The point is this: There are more than four types of women in this world—and thank god for that.

That being said, there are universal truths shared among women when it comes to men (read: we are superior, men are jerks, whatever). But just as there are more than four types of women, there are also more than two or three types of men. Comparing our lives to Sex and the City and other chick shows may be fun, but it might not be totally healthy. You can’t make your own mistakes if you’re making the ones Carrie and Company already made. (OMG, this is JUST like that episode of Sex and the City when…) You won’t learn from those mistakes if you take Carrie’s word for it without exploring how you really feel.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be negative—it’s fun to go to the Sex and the City movie with your best friends and drink pink vodka, but real life is way more complicated than that. You don’t need Carrie to tell you to love yourself. You can have the same life experiences in a solid pair of Rainbows as Manolo Blahniks or Jimmy Choos. So don’t look for an Aiden, Big, McDreamy or McSteamy. Just look for your own soul mate—and if he happens to be as hot as Aiden, lucky you.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under definitely not politics, sex