Category Archives: family

best of luck against biden, sarah.

Take a look at this New York Times breakdown of the VP candidates’ positions on the issues. I think it says a lot about Sarah Palin that half of her positions aren’t even filled in. Guess being well-versed in the issues that a national leader deals with wasn’t something that McCain was looking for in his VP choice. 

Also, Palin’s children are named Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig. Um, that’s just weird. The youngest son, Trig, has Down syndrome, a fact that Palin has used to bolster her pro-life beliefs. Of course it takes a strong and compassionate person to raise a child with Down’s, but one commenter on Timothy Egan’s opinion article about Palin made a good point: “She’s a woman governor with a newborn. How motherly is that? Who exactly is caring for her child?” And maybe that’s a little harsh, but if she’s going to be exploiting that fact to paint herself as a such a nurturing and relatable woman and mother, it’s worth thinking about. I can’t imagine she’d be doing a ton of hands-on parenting if she held the second-highest office in the country.

McCain’s going to need all the luck he can get.

[Posted by Mallory]

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huge political girl boner for hillary.

So I considered live-blogging Hillary’s speech but then I got nervous because Kathleen is way smarter than me when it comes to politics. Now I wish I had live-blogged it. From a nerdy rhetoric student’s point of view, and a weepy patriot’s point of view, and the point of view of some one who thinks Barack Obama looks damn good in a suit, that was a GOOD speech.

She got the weepy stories in; she did some great McCain bashing; and she did an excellent job hammering home the message of “HEY CRAZY LADIES! Voting for McCain or voting for no one is NOT the way to honor my campaign’s legacy. VOTE FOR BARRY!” or something to that effect. And that Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit comment? The Harriet Tubman rhetoric at the end? Killer. Love her right now. 

And I will say, though the orange suit complemented Hill’s skin tone, I thought orange was an interesting choice for the patriotic overload that is a convention. With all the Obama campaign’s branding strategy, I thought it was odd that they allowed Hillary and Chelsea to appear next to each other wearing orange and black. Anyway, Michelle looked great, as per usual, and Joe Biden has really white teeth. 

Stay tuned for Kathleen’s potentially more legit commentary, once she gets off the Pepsi Center floor. Lucky bitch.

P.S. I spoke to my mom before the speech, and she said she and my dad were also getting ready to watch. This shocked me a little, because my dad is a bit of a diehard Republican. My mom was talking about how they were kind of bashing Hillary on the teevee commentary and I was like whaaaa?, because I was watching NBC. Of course my parents were watching Fox, because my dad said it was “the most neutral station.” Tee hee. 

P.P.S. I’m watching Fox now because I got curious, and Charles Krauthammer is speaking. Like a month ago I applied to be his research assistant. Never heard back, shockingly. It was one of those jobs that you just have to send in your resume for, so don’t judge me.

[Posted by Mallory]

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blogging from the dnc, day 1.

So I wrote this yesterday, but couldn’t post it until today. Some live blogger I am.

So here I am, trying to live blog from the convention, yet I find myself live blogging from Boston Logan airport. Such is life. I was, however, lucky that my flight delay coincided perfectly with Michelle Obama’s speech (I only caught part of Sen. Ted Kennedy’s. What I did see, however, was spectacular). I was weeping openly during the video narrated by her mother. And her speech was just incredible. I think that if anybody had any questions about who she was, they were all answered. She gave us a poignant account of who she is and what she has done with her own life. Her brother spoke well when he said that they were proud of her not just because who she had married, but because she was an exemplary public servant in her own right. There was a wonderfully executed balance between showing us who Michelle is without losing sight of Barack. Ahh I love her.

As if you couldn’t already tell how I felt about M.O., here is my gchat gush fest with Caroline, college friend and the witty mastermind behind drunkinarowboat.

Caroline: SHE IS AMAZING
me: i am drooling all over myself
and weeping openly
Caroline: like she should be a movie star
me: i am a mess
Caroline: ive BAWLED LIKE FIFTEEN TIMES
me: her hair looks beautiful
Caroline: I KNOW
love the green
her in that orange dress and bow at age four???
me: oh my god i fell apart

Professional analysis for sure. CNN, yes, I will work for you. All you have to do is ask. Oh and the part with the girls? Perfect. I want the Obamas in the White House. Right. Now.

Once we got into the Denver airport (which is GIGANTIC), it was about 1:30 in the morning. Of course, there were no taxis or shuttles in sight. After calling two cabs and two shuttles, one cab eventually showed up and we finally got to the hotel around 4 a.m. (6 a.m. my time) Damnnnn.

I’m tired, but I’m fired up and ready to go. I will be just like Anderson Cooper (sigh) and let you know everything that goes on. I brought my camera, but not my camera cord, so pictures will be posted on Friday or Saturday. And I will be stalking George Clooney and all other celebrities like it’s my job. (UPDATE: I might be seeing Ben Affleck tonight!)

You know you love me. I love you back.
– Your SWTCTW DNC Correspondent

ps- In case you live under a rock:

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: obama girls.

Watch this and try not to smile and maybe weep a little with joy:

Could this family BE any more perfect? I’m seriously high on their cuteness. Obamas for First Family!

[Posted by Mallory]

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guess what copper ate this time?

Well he didn’t exactly eat something…yet. A while back, I wrote a post about doggy Prozac and other such things, and in the post I mentioned that my beloved nutso dog Copper would probably be a candidate for some sort of anxiety pill. My mom took him to the vet the other day, and turns out, HE IS. The vet wants to put him on doggy Prozac, but naturally my anti-pill father won’t allow it. My conversation with my mom went a little like this:

Me: Prozac?! No! Didn’t you read my scathing post about doggy drugs?

Mom: Uh, no…

Me: Well, I don’t think Copper should go on drugs. It might make him…boring!

Mom: You’re on Prozac; are you boring?

Me: Point taken.

Mom: Think of it, he could be a new man!

Ugh. I really hope my dog doesn’t have to go on anti-anxiety medicine, but I’ll keep you posted.

[Posted by Mallory]

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obama: more perfect than we thought.

Look at these pictures, then tell me how anyone could possibly want to vote for John McCain. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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thoughts on bourbon, blogging, and SAHMs.

Confession: I have a new girl crush/idol in the world of bloggy women. Her name is Heather B. Armstrong, and she is snarky and wonderful. On her blog, Dooce, she describes herself as a “Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) or a Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker.” (And really, she’s not exactly a stay at home mom, because that implies that she doesn’t work. Really, her blog is so successful that both Heather and her husband work full time on keeping the blog witty and awesome and, you know, functioning.) Plus Heather says that she “love[s] bourbon, chips and salsa, Britpop, and television that excels at being really awful.” Hellooo, kindred spirit. She even looks cool and witty and like the kind of girl you’d want to go have drinks with then maybe dance on a table and meet some strangers and have a late-night breakfast burrito from 7-Eleven:

I’ve decided that I want to be just like Heather when I grow up. I would like to be snarky and fun and irreverent and have a cute husband, perfect daughter, and a job that lets me hang out in my PJs all day, presumably drinking bourbon and eating chips and salsa as the wit escapes my brain through my fingertips. Not such a bad thing to aspire to, eh?

Here’s an excellent excerpt from Heather’s FAQ:

“I’m surprised you haven’t been reported to child welfare with how public you are about some of the things you think and do regarding your daughter. Paper towels are very dangerous for your daughter to chew on. She could suffocate. don’t let her be alone with them. I’m amazed at how foolish you can be sometimes.”

When you call DCFS, please get the story straight. Not only do I leave her alone with paper towels, I set her in the middle of a flea-infested floor and surround her with sharp objects and porn. Then I turn on a wood-burning stove in the corner of the room and seal all the windows. Before I leave the room and lock the door, I stick a bottle full of vodka in her mouth, to muffle the screaming.

Heather, I dig you. I also hope that one day Kathleen and I will actually be important enough to have an FAQ section. I don’t think we’ve received any questions, unless you count the marriage pleas from the millions of attractive bachelors. Okay now go read Dooce and be happy.

[Posted by Mallory]

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wonder if the olsens had trouble…

I’ve written before about how the college admissions process mystifies me. I also don’t often understand employment decisions, or acceptances into all sorts of programs (Teach For America, for instance). In each situation, someone has to make a decision based on relatively little information, and they must choose from among many, many applicants or candidates. It’s always sort of a fluke. It’s a hard job, and I certainly wouldn’t want to do it.

I found this article in today’s New York Times very interesting. Called “Is There a Better Half,” it talks about the unique challenges that twins and triplets face when applying to college. On top of considering whether or not they want to be together, or at least geographically close, they also have to consider how being a twin or a triplet will affect their applications when applying to the same school:

“Other people were applying to Harvard from our school,” Olivia [one of a set of triplets] explains, “and it’s not like Harvard was going to take five people. Sometimes it only takes one or two. I knew colleges place this huge emphasis on geographical diversity. So were they really going to take two people from the exact same household?”

Eek. Applying to college is hard enough as it is; I wouldn’t want any other factors complicating the process. (Thing about the agony that the Gosselins will go through!) Take a look at the article, then grab a frosty beverage and head outside, as I plan to do riiiiiight now.

[Posted by Mallory]

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stop this giant from mocking god!

 

I’m pretty open about the fact that I’m obsessed with the snarky political commentary site Wonkette. Recently, I’ve been loving their mockery of the American Family Association’s efforts to Boycott McDonald’s. (Background on Wonkette’s mockery here; link to the Boycott McDonald’s website here.) Basically, McDonald’s donated some money to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, a bunch of self-righteous, intolerant people got angry, and these people decided to clog their arteries at another establishment. They are encouraging their fellow Christians to boycott America’s favorite fast food restaurant with persuasive, well-written comments like these:

“I`m sorry that you have made the decision that heterosexul folks such as i are not welcome in your resturants any longer. i will not argue your decision. By giving your resturants sapport to the homosexual groups you have told me my believes and lifestyle are not yours and i`m not welcome in your resturants anylonger.”

The group’s latest — and by far, most hilarious — weapon is this gem of a video:

Eh, we were always Wendy’s girls here at SWTCTW.  Mmm, Baconator.

[Posted by Mallory]

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who has hobbies these days, anyway?!

I recently got an email from my grad school requesting some information for an internal “facebook” that will be passed out to faculty, staff, and other students. It asked for all the basic, easy stuff — undergraduate university, undergraduate major, favorite food — and then it hit me with a doozie: it asked for my hobbies. Uhhh…

I mean, who has hobbies anymore? In a perfect world, I’d be able to write “calligraphy, birdwatching, knitting, table tennis, and volunteering with refugees from Kazakhstan.” But folks, it ain’t a perfect world. If I were to be honest, I’d list “lounging, blogging, watching Jon & Kate Plus 8, drinking outdoors, eating, hanging out with friends, and, uhh, sleeping?” among my hobbies. Those don’t cut it, either. I turned to my sister for advice:

Maddy: Well, you like sitting.

Mallory: Maddy, I KNOW, but that doesn’t count. What about baseball games? I like baseball games! I’m watching one right now!

Maddy: You only like baseball games when you are eating a hot dog and drinking a beer and sitting in the Rockpile, where you don’t even have to watch the game.

Mallory: Touche. Ummmm…I’ve been, uh, running a lot lately…

Maddy: “A lot” might imply that you run marathons. You occasionally run for 20 minutes, and you hate every second of it.

Mallory: Concerts! I like going to concerts!

Maddy: [Rolls eyes.]

You see my dilemma. I settled on the following list of hobbies: reading (I really do like that! It’s generic, but whatever, beggars can’t be choosers); writing (I blog, and email my friends a lot); biking (well, see, I biked tons last summer and I think that if I put air in the tires, I’d actually use my bike a lot!); swimming (I used to be a swimmer in high school; now I enjoy sunbathing); and spending time with my friends (read: eating and drinking. A lot).

Sigh. Maybe my grandma can teach me to needlepoint.

[Posted by Mallory]

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