Sooooo my landlord said I couldn’t have a cat or dog…but he didn’t say anything about chameleons! HOW DOES IT DO THAT? (And here is where I answer my own question so that you don’t have to take the time to Google it yourself…click the link) I also would like to have multiple pairs of Ray-Bans.
Oh and guess what song is stuck in my head now?
Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon
You come and go
You come and go
Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream
Red, gold and green
Red, gold and green…
Stick ’em out and push ’em up, ladies, because it’s National Cleavage Day 2009! In South Africa. Haha. While we don’t officially celebrate the holiday here in the good old US of A, I’m sure some exceptions can be made if it really resonates with you.
Now I know you are thinking that some pervy dude who still lives in his parent’s basement came up with this holiday so that on the one day he actually stops playing video games and watching porn, he can see some real cleavage. I mean, that’s what I thought. In fact, it’s sponsored by Wonderbra and Cosmo and some proceeds from the day are dedicated to a good cause. You think I’m kidding? Here is the Web site:
Wonderbra’s slogan for the day made me laugh out loud. “Firm supporter of the left and the right”. Five points to Gryffindor! Errr…or whichever Hogwarts house the creator of that phrase is in.
So do whatever you need to do to make it happen. And I think it would be extremely appropriate to pour yourself a nice glass of Cleavage Creek wine…
Also, since the girls might be exposed today, you should seriously consider purchasing a Tiddy Bear. What the hell is that, you ask? A Tiddy Bear is my newest infomercial obsession. Observe– A Tiddy Bear:
Can you even live without this? You need to protect your “shoulder”.
These actually render me wordless (which rarely happens), so I’ll just post the pictures.
Wowie.
Wow.
Wow.
PS- If you want to buy these beauties and just love the idea of a built in sparkly whale’s tail, they’re made by Sanna’s of Brazil and they’re only a hundred bucks! So sexxxxxxxy. You’ll for sure be the flyest girl at the club! Bye bye Banana Republic, hello Sanna’s!
Naturally, I think B looks fantastic. While the article makes it seem like it wasn’t necessarily a campaign decision to let him go gray, I think it was. Every detail of that campaign was discussed and analyzed. They wanted him to have a more experienced look, and it works for him.
Who is this Walt Frazier “No Play for Mr. Gray” joker anyway? Pssh. B is still foxy.
I’ll take Seth Rogen anyday. (Especially now that he’s super duper foxy svelte for his role as the Green Hornet and my inexplicable attraction to him pre-toned up is now somewhat justified.) RAWR.
Greetings, earthlings. After the most exciting Saturday night ever (I ate half a block of cheese, apple slices, 3 pickles, a piece of pizza, BBQ chips, and a bowl of chili. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.), I find myself slothing on the couch of fellow blogger Mal and dear friend Ms. Potter. Naturally, I have been catching up on all the interesting news that I missed whilst stuffing my face with high sodium foods. Here we go:
*Michael Phelps smoked a bong, oh my! AND THERE IS PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE! I’m not surprised. He swims fast but in his spare time, he likes to move slooooooooooow. Here’s the best quote from the story:
“He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits. Michael ended up getting a little paranoid, though, because before too long he looked like he was nervous and ran out of the place.”
Haha. Five bucks the kid who said this quote was stoned out of his mind and giggled for hours after saying “the gold medal winner of bong hits”. Here’s the picture.
Whoopsies! But in all honesty, this guy takes six drug tests a day, I hardly think he’s a pothead.
*Lisa Loeb got mawwwwwwwied! She married Roey Hershkovitz, a teevee producer. You can read the cute NYT announcement here. Oddly enough, there’s no mention of her E! show, “#1 Single”, which chronicled her miserable dating life and her never-ending, desperate quest to get married. Funny they didn’t mention it. Eek. Here’s a video of her actual number one single, “Stay”. LOVE THAT SONG. It’s so 7th grade angsty. But congrats to LL and her man!
* If you watched the inauguration, you saw Aretha Franklin and her [insert adjective of choice] hat. Her hat is historic enough on its own, apparently, because the Smithsonian Museum has requested it.
“I am considering it. It would be hard to part with my chapeau since it was such a crowning moment in history,” says the Queen of Soul. “I would like to smile every time I look back at it and remember what a great moment it was in American and African-American history. Ten cheers for President Obama.”
And then she went on about being a natural woman and all that jazz. What do you think about her hat?
So no SERIOUS news, just things I find interesante (that’s Spanish for “interesting” FYI). I need to go eat sodium free foods. I’ll post more exciting things later, I promise. Happy Superbowl Sunday! GO CARDINALS! Honestly, I don’t care, but I’m rooting for them because running back Tim Hightower is a RICHMOND SPIDER.
If you hate the Snuggie commercials on teevee as much as I do, you will find this to be humorous. Honestly, I think they make people look like Jedi knights. Which, to some, might be cool. McStarWars, yours is in the mail.
And just for funsies, here is the actual Snuggie commercial. VOM.
MSNBC just did a piece on “mantyhose”, or pantyhose for men. Now I’ve got absolutely no qualms about men wearing pantyhose, I just can’t for the life of me understand why they would want to. They’re itchy, terribly annoying, and awkward to readjust. Plus, they are a nuisance when you really have to pee. But apparently, they’re good for something. Like keeping you warm, giving you better legs (see above. RAWR!), the control top, and making you miserable. Come on ladies, I know I am not alone here.
I’ve never seen a man wear pantyhose. Actually, I lied. One Christmas way back, my aunt wrapped a gift and put the wrong tag on it. My uncle was the proud receiver of a pair of pantyhose with snowflakes on them. My uncle being who he is, gladly put them on and showed them off for the family. Wow, I had blocked that memory out until now. Oh, the horror!
Americans being the strictly socialized, prudish (thanks Puritan ancestors!) and oppressed creatures that we are, some are struggling with the gender roles.
“My wife was really uncomfortable at first — she was nervous about going out with me in public when I had them on,” said Andrews. “But then we went out and she saw that no one noticed or had any adverse reaction.”
Honestly dude, nobody is really going to notice unless you pair it with a skirt and a foxy pair of heels.
The companies that make mantyhose, like Comfilon, are doing their best to keep it manly. But ya know… Anyway, I just LOVE the tagline from Comfilon.
“This is NOT your mother’s pantyhose.”
Haha, you think?
So add mantyhose to the list of things that belonged solely to women but are now shared with men. Another example? The murse, or man purse. But here is my all time favorite: The Brozilian. A Brazilian wax for men. How do you like dem apples? (The answer to that question is obviously ‘waxed’.) I could go on and on about that, but let’s save that one for another day.
Kathleen and I are currently sitting next to each other on my couch, wearing matching J.Crew yoga pants, typing on our matching elitist white MacBooks, with our matching jaunty ponytails, watching The Daily Show and playing on the Internets. Could we BE any more DC right now? Or any more liberal? Or any more elitist? Maybe, but only if there was a life-size cutout of Barry sitting between us, wrapped in a down comforter.
Stick ’em out and push ’em up, ladies, because it’s National Cleavage Day 2009! In South Africa. Haha. While we don’t officially celebrate the holiday here in the good old US of A, I’m sure some exceptions can be made if it really resonates with you.
Wowie.
six words to change the world. 