Category Archives: humor

and now you’ve ruined my pants.

I have a confession to make: I sort of love Blair and Chuck together. I often hate them on their own, but when they get together and tell each other to just “say those three little words,” those two evil Upper East Siders sort of melt my heart. I know. I’m embarrassed too.

Also, what the hell are you doing Little J? Whoring around with that model and the sketchball photographer? How do you go from innocent 15-year-old to black-eyeliner-wearing whore sexpot with bangs in ONE WEEK? Oh, that’s right. This is Gossip Girl. Plotlines can be inconsistent and absurd, and I’ll still watch. At least Nate’s still beautiful:

And now, because they’ve added a little poll feature to my blogging toolbox, let’s try a poll:

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under crushes, humor, pop culture, TV

larry david reads my mind, etc.

Helloooo everyone! It’s been a while. I don’t have time to post a lot right now, but I wanted to get a few quick thoughts out since I’ve been MIA the past few days.

I’ve been MIA partly because my computer is still broken ($755 later it should be fixed in a few days…awesome) and I feel sort of awkward blogging in public. Except I just found a secret computer dungeon filled exclusively with nerds, so I don’t feel as embarrassed anymore. The other reason I haven’t been blogging is that I went back to my beloved undergrad university for Homecoming this weekend. (Sadly Kathleeny could not attend.) I may post more about it later, but for now let’s just say it was wonderful, and that a lot of Bloody Mary’s were consumed.

In other news, I’m totally digging the fall weather. It means I get to wear long coats and riding boots, and, even more importantly, that I’m no longer drenched in sweat 99% of the day. See, DC was pretty hot, weather-wise, for a while there, which meant that every time I walked more than three blocks I looked as if I had just run a marathon. I spent a lot of time complaining about how pants are like prisons for your legs and that if it was socially acceptable I would no longer wear them. Ever. (Unfortunately it isn’t socially acceptable, yet, which also means that you ladies out there should not be wearing leggings as pants. BECAUSE LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. It’s okay if you’ve been working out, or if you are wearing a shirt that more than covers your ass-thigh junction, but other than that leave those leggings at home. Otherwise I will not-so-silently mock you to everyone I see.)

So the point is, I’m loving the crisp fall weather.

My final random thought of the day is that I love Larry David. I feel like I’ve been straight plagiarizing my friend Caroline’s blog, but I simply must post some of Mr. David’s article about waiting for the election:

The one concession I’ve made to maintain some form of sanity is that I’ve taken to censoring my news, just like the old Soviet Union. The citizenry (me) only gets to read and listen to what I deem appropriate for its health and well-being. Sure, there are times when the system breaks down. Michele Bachmann got through my radar this week, right before bedtime. That’s not supposed to happen. That was a lapse in security, and I’ve had to make some adjustments. The debates were particularly challenging for me to monitor. First I tried running in and out of the room so I would only hear my guy. This worked until I knocked over a tray of hors d’oeuvres. “Sit down or get out!” my host demanded. “Okay,” I said, and took a seat, but I was more fidgety than a ten-year-old at temple. I just couldn’t watch without saying anything, and my running commentary, which mostly consisted of “Shut up, you prick!” or “You’re a fucking liar!!!” or “Go to hell, you cocksucker!” was way too distracting for the attendees, and finally I was asked to leave.

It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one screaming “Go to hell, you cocksucker!” at the television on the occasional weeknight.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, blogging, drinks, humor, politics, thoughts

snl: ferrell’s dubya endorses fey’s palin.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT.

Really, this is the best SNL has been in years.  And in even better news, my twin, Maya Rudolph, is coming back!

AHHHH.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under celebrities, crushes, humor, news, politics, pop culture, random, TV, YouTube

it’s not midnight yet. i win!

I’m trying to be on a roll here. A roll of not forgetting the Hump Day Cry Face. I’m doing well, right?!

I’ve mentioned Jed before. Jed is great. I love Jed. Jed is a really, really wonderful Cry Face Ambassador. He orchestrated all of these gems:

He seems to be teaching the closed-mouth Cry Face. Interesting tactic. I’m okay with it. To each his own. Jed’s in the middle of this next photo:

And while I’m making an e-shrine to Mr. Jed, I’ll just throw in this photo because I think it’s pretty fabulous:

Jed, let’s get married.

[Posted by Mallory]

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but how is the chicken cooked?

Read this.

David Sedaris, I love you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of today: segway chimp.

Watch as much of this as you can handle– Japanese television is wacky.  I wish I knew what was going on, but somehow not knowing makes it even funnier.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under animals, definitely not politics, humor, pop culture, random, TV, YouTube

change your pumpkin, change your world.

So it’s been daysssss since I’ve written.  Sowwy.  Things are reeeeeal busy. TWO WEEKS UNTIL ELECTION DAY!  But I’d like to take some time to spread some Halloween cheer–in a political way, because let’s face it, I am incapable of thinking about anything else until November 5.  And even then…I don’t know.

So here is Yes We Carve, the blog that gives you stencils for your Barack O’ Lantern and other Baracky treats.

Was posting a link to another blog a weak post on my part?  Yes.  But cut me some slack, I’m busy trying to save the Constitution.  I’ll do my best to keep posting.

PS- Woooohooooo Colin Powell!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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the most telling picture ever taken.

A picture is worth a thousand words, right, Johnny?  Doesn’t he look like a dinosaur? HAHA.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under celebrities, humor, news, politics, pop culture, random, thoughts

come on colin, help barack out.

Colin Powell, everyone’s favorite good guy who worked for the bad guys, might endorse Santo Barack O.  Like Tony the Tiger would say, that’s grrrrrrrrrreat!  Everyone and their mother is speculating as to when (but if I had to guess, I’d say tomorrow and he says that Barack’s performance in tonight’s debates compelled him to endorse) and looking for clues.  But Fox News’ America’s Election HQ (why would you go anywhere else for news?!) has the clue to end all clues.  Here is their headline and sub-headline, I shiz you not.

Hip-Hop-Dancing Colin Powell Fuels Speculation He’ll Endorse Obama
Colin Powell showed off his hip-hop moves at an ‘Africa Rising’ celebration in London Tuesday, fueling speculation that the former secretary of state is about to endorse Barack Obama for president.

He hip-hop danced! That means he’s black!  Which means he’s definitely endorsing Obama!

Along with the sure to be Pulitzer winning investigative journalism, Fox also provided pictures of Gen. Powell engaging in practices that surely indicate his intentions to endorse Barry.

Look at him. LOOK AT HIM.  He’s been tainted by HOPE.

Posessed by CHANGE:

Colin, welcome into the loving arms of the Democrats.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under celebrities, dance, humor, news, politics, pop culture, random, thoughts

just cold cry-facin’ at my boyfriend.

It’s Hump Day Cry Face time! So yesterday, my “friend,” we’ll call him “Joe,” tried to tell me that the Cry Face was really a laughing face. And I was all, “Dude, have you ever seen a human laugh? That ain’t a laughing face.” Then he tried to argue with me and I told him that I would KNOW because I am the CREATOR of Cry Face. He then continued to say mean things to me and now I hate him.

(I’m mostly kidding. I mean Joe IS one of our regular readers, and I don’t want to alienate any regular readers. )

But speaking of Cry Face, let me tell you about my friend Selia. I’m using the term friend loosely here, mostly to mean “someone that I have a creepy Cry Face-related connection with even though I’ve never actually met her.” Weird, right? We’re like secret cyberspace heterosexual Cry Face girlfriends. Anyway. Selia is one of the proudest and best Cry Face ambassadors, and she has been dutifully spreading the CF all over the world. She’s here on the right:

Here’s to you, Selia. You deserve one million whore diamonds.

Now I’ll get back to “work,” or checking my email while staring across the room at my Library Boyfriend.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, crushes, cry face, humor