A month ago, I wrote about Henry Allingham, who celebrated his 113th birthday, and becoming the world’s oldest man, with a glass of champagne. Henry died this morning at the age of 113.
He was Britain’s last surviving veteran of World War I, a preacher of peace and the author of a memoir.
Read last month’s blog post here and today’s story here.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, education, history, news, pop culture, random, RIP, thoughts
Mark E. White was only trying to make his getaway after robbing the bank in Saginaw, Michigan.
According to the news story, Marky Mark had just gotten out of the slammer three weeks earlier when he decided to rob the Citizens Bank. He was successful, and two blocks later tried to hitch a ride. He flagged down a car… which happened to be an unmarked police car. Needless to say, he was caught.
Now Mr. White, I am not a criminal — nor do I have any plans to ever become one– but I’m pretty sure that if I was, I’d make sure I arranged my transportation ahead of time. Maybe that’s just me.
Ah, stories about dumb criminals. It makes you feel just a little bit better about your Monday morning, no?
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, humor, money, news, random, travel, Uncategorized, weird
It’s summertime, and she’s not actively running for national office anymore (*crosses fingers*), but Sarah Palin still makes me want to put on a flannel nightgown and eat Smartfood as I fume and read various articles about her increasing level of crazy. (You remember my flannel nightgown theory, right?)
I actually have work to do right now, and I actually want to do it, but I have to post something about her. We all know that she’s stepping down as Governor of Alaska, which is mind-boggling in and of itself, and we’re all hoping that she’s not doing this because she’s aiming for a 2012 Presidential run. And all of that makes me a little nervous/angry/delighted by the ridiculousness, but her resignation speech is truly a work of art. I’m sitting here with my officemate and we’re each reading lines to each other and trying not to break our computers. I’m too riled up, and not quite patient or clever or smart enough to break this gem down on my own, but thank goodness, Jezebel did for us! Do yourself a favor and read the whole thing, but for now, here are some of my favorite points of analysis:
Palin says: “So to serve the state is a humbling responsibility, because I know in my soul that Alaska is of such import, for America’s security, in our very volatile world. And you know me by now, I promised even four years ago to show MY independence… no more conventional ‘politics as usual.'”
Jezebel says: “Here Palin appears to be opting for a broad definition of ‘politics as usual,’ one that includes such outdated conventions as finishing out one’s elected term and completing the job one has promised to do.”
—
Palin says: “And then I thought – that’s what’s wrong – many just accept that lame duck status, hit the road, draw the paycheck, and ‘milk it.’ I’m not putting Alaska through that – I promised efficiencies and effectiveness!? That’s not how I am wired. I am not wired to operate under the same old ‘politics as usual.’ I promised that four years ago – and I meant it.”
Jezebel says: “Here Palin advances her bold thesis: that serving out the full term for which your constituents elected you is in fact an exploitation of those constituents. No doubt her time after resignation will consist entirely of delivering barrels of crude oil to impoverished Alaskan families and reuniting baby grizzlies with their mothers, and not of ‘hitting the road’ making public appearances in other, more influential states.”
—
Palin says: “Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me – sports… basketball. I use it because you’re naïve if you don’t see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN.”
Jezebel says: “A more appropriate analogy for Palin’s actions might be stopping in the middle of the game, tossing the basketball over one’s shoulder, and then leaving the court to play an entirely different game, perhaps table tennis or curling.”
Deep breaths. I have gotten to the point where I seriously cannot respect anyone who respects her. (Doobie, you’re exempt. I know you just want her to be your Sugar Mama.) This speech is not just absent of any sort of political strategy that I can agree with, it’s absent of logic. IT MAKES NO SENSE. Does she not have speechwriters anymore? Who lets her get away with saying this shit out loud? Please, please, please let this just mean a scandal is about to be revealed and it will be the end of Sarah Palin as we know it. My fragile, anxious self can’t take any more of her, and I don’t think I’m supposed to wear a flannel nightgown to work.
UPDATE: Also, read this. Ain’t nobody in history like you, Sarah.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under news, politics, post-college depression, thoughts
Here’s a silly news piece about booby girls in bikinis selling fireworks, but the best part is the news reporter. Filled with double meanings, there is one classic part where he… well. I don’t want to give it all away. But it is HILARIOUS.
I’ve been trying to embed this video for 25 minutes, but it won’t let me. So just click this link. Make me happy. Do it.
And in case I’m too lazy to post tomorrow (quite likely), HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!
[Posted by Kathleen]
She looks like a brunette Ashley Tisdale. Right?
Kevin Jonas, the “Ike Hanson” of the Jonas Brothers, is engaged. His fiancee is 22-year-old Danielle Deleasa. The two met while their families were vacationing in the Bahamas, and according to People:
When Deleasa, a former hairdresser, first met Jonas two years ago, she admits, “I didn’t know who the Jonas Brothers were.” It was Kevin who eagerly pursued her after meeting her and then spotting her walking on the beach with a flower in her hair.
How romantic. She is a former hairdresser? I suppose her job now is being Kevin Jonas’ fiancee and fighting off tweens.
“She said yes, yes, yes like 500 times super fast in a row,” the oldest of the Jonas Brothers tells PEOPLE exclusively.
Oh. Emm. Gee.
Kevin Jonas is just 21. At least he’ll be able to drink at his wedding? Are there pregnancy whispers yet?
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under babies, blogging, celebrities, crushes, definitely not politics, family, music, news, pop culture, random, sex, thoughts, weddings
Alright. I know. This post is late… but it’s both of our faults. I’m having some trouble getting Chris to send me his posts on time and he’s having some trouble getting me to post them when he sends them. Oops.
This week Toni Basil joined the panel of judges. Back in the day she was pretty legit. And by legit, I mean that unlike the pop stars of the day (*cough* Britney), Toni Basil could both dance and sing at the same time.
Exhibit A:
All that being said, she bothers me for two reasons:
1. Her judging comments just bother me.
2. She hasn’t aged. This leaves me to believe that she has a really good plastic surgeon – OR – she is a sorceress. Seriously, SWTCTW readers, she was born in 1943. Something is not right here, and I would like to see someone get to the bottom of it. In the mean time, if she offers you an apple, don’t eat it.
I feel better now that I have gotten that off my chest…
My Mia returned this week. With a butt dance. For me, it was lacking the certain something that is normally a part of her choreography. It was interesting, and about a butt. Despite a couple clumsy stumbles by Evan. He dropped the shoe, and he had to balance himself with his hand at one point in order not to fall over. It was distracting for me. Having worked quite a few dance shows as a lighting tech, I understand that dancers are notoriously clumsy, but it’s usually backstage.
In keeping with the butt theme, Philip and Jeanine did a Broadway number, during which, Philip split the seat of his pants. [Dear Producers: The close-up shot of the split was not necessary.] Let’s go easy on Philip, though, he did just jump over a couch, length-wise. Mary Murphy was a fan of the jump too. “I’m allergic to feathers, but I wasn’t allergic to that number (screams)!!!!” Oh Mary, such the wordsmith.
Voted off this week: Jonathan and Asuka
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, dance, definitely not politics, education, music, news, pop culture, random, the arts, thoughts, TV, YouTube
Last Thursday The State, a South Carolina newspaper, published emails (allegedly) sent back and forth between Governor Mark Sanford and his mistress. The ones in this article were sent around the Fourth of July last year, which of course means only one thing: Mark Sanford hates America.
Take a look for yourself. These emails are just…embarrassing. They aren’t scandalous and juicy so much as they are boring. Make sure to look out for multiples references to the Cameron Diaz/Kate Winslet/Jude Law/Jack Black chick flick The Holiday, along the citation of a biblical passage. Mmm, hypocrisy on a Monday morning.
Thanks to intern Katie for the tip!
[Posted by Mallory]
Kathleen and I have been naughty, naughty bloggers. Everything huge that can happen in the world of blogging happened this past week — important people dying, political scandals…that about covers it — and we have not kept you up to speed.
What a week. So first Ed McMahon died, and we’ll let our bloggy friend Caroline cover that in her trademark wacky way. Then we lose Farrah Fawcett to the bright forever, and Shaq to the Cavs (and no, I will not pretend to actually care about that, but I have to throw it in there). Amid all of that, we have perhaps the most delightfully bizarre Republican-having-an-affair story in recent months. I mean really, Mark Sanford? I remember hearing about him being “missing” earlier in the week, and I was totally giving him the benefit of the doubt. Like, “Come ON people, the guy just needed to get in touch with nature and clear his head on the Appalachian Trail!” And even when that story changed to Sanford “clearing his head” in Argentina, I was all, “Okay, that’s a little weirder, but whatever man. Let the guy do what he needs to do.” But of course — of course — he was having an affair. We all should have known (and most people who aren’t as naive as I am did, I guess). Here’s a well-articulated article about Sanford’s hypocrisy and irresponsibility that I just stumbled upon.
Then, as you all know, we lost MJ. Part of the reason I hesitated to post about Michael Jackson’s death is that I didn’t have any idea what to say about it, and I knew that there were plenty of other people out there saying important things, better than I could have (take Andrew Sullivan and Michael Thomas, for instance). When big celebrities like Heath Ledger and Natasha Richardson died, I was really sad, for reasons I didn’t quite understand. With Michael Jackson, it was different, and I think that’s in part because his entire life was just so sad and strange and depressing. When I heard that he died, I was surprised, but I also felt the same as I always had about him. Andrew Sullivan, in the article I linked to above, puts it perfectly:
…he had no compass to find [a normal life]; no real friends to support and advise him; and money and fame imprisoned him in the delusions of narcissism and self-indulgence. Of course, he bears responsibility for his bizarre life. But the damage done to him by his own family and then by all those motivated more by money and power than by faith and love was irreparable in the end. He died a while ago. He remained for so long a walking human shell.
Dead on, right? [Ed. note: In proofreading I noticed the interesting choice of the phrase “dead on.” Pun not intended, but I’m leaving it.] We lost a great talent, but I would imagine anyone who knew MJ felt they lost Michael Jackson the person long ago.
It gets nuttier, though. This crazy week just HAD to go out with a bang: Mark and Michael and Farrah and Shaq and Ed…not enough! Billy Mays had to go and die. Yep, that Billy Mays:
Billy Mays of infomercial fame was found dead in his home this morning at the age of 50. (Some sources are saying he was 49, but according to his Wikipedia birthday, he was 50.) No foul play is suspected, and no one seems to know what caused the death. The only slight lead is that he had been in a minor plane accident the day before and was hit on the head with some luggage. We’ll keep you posted as we hear more about Mays’ death.
Let’s all hope for some much, MUCH better news in the upcoming week. We can really only go up from here, eh?
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under celebrities, music, news, politics, pop culture, RIP, weird
Oh Kimberley. Remember Kimberley Vlaminck, aka Starface? She claimed that she had fallen asleep after asking for three stars on her face and when she woke up, she had 56 stars. Rouslan Toumaniantz, the tattoo artist, said she was lying. Eye witnesses said she was lying. Now, Kimberley says she was lying. From the Telegraph:
She said after the tattooing last week: “It is terrible for me. I cannot go out on to the street. I look like a freak.”
But the 18-year-old has finally confessed she did not fall asleep, that she wanted all the stars and was “fully aware” of what Mr Toumaniantz was doing.
Ms Vlaminck told a Dutch TV crew: “I asked for 56 stars and initially adored them. But when my father saw them, he was furious. So I said I fell asleep and the that the tattooist made a mistake.”
Everyone who read the story didn’t believe her. I have no idea how her father could have believed that. Toumaniantz has since withdrawn his offer to pay for half of the tattoo removal.
I don’t know what’s worse– having 56 stars tattooed on your face or having a face that everyone will recognize as the face of a liar.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, fashion, news, pop culture, random, thoughts, weird
Ruh roh. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is being sued by Susan Hassett, the author of a book for people with Celiac disease, for plagiarism. From the AP:
Hassett said in the lawsuit that she sent Hasselbeck a personal note and copy of her “Living With Celiac Disease” book as a courtesy after the television celebrity disclosed she had the illness last year.
Hassett claims that Hasselbeck lifted word for word passages for her own book, “The G-Free Diet: A Gluten-Free Survival Guide”.
People with the disease, like Hasselbeck, are unable to eat foods with gluten in them. The book offers tips on how to live healthily with the disease. On top of plagiarism charges, Hassett is claiming that Hasslebeck’s book gives bad advice and can be dangerous for people with Celiac disease. Oh my.
I wonder what the ladies on The View have to say about all this. I can imagine that Mama Barbara won’t be pleased…
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, food, health, news, pop culture, random, thoughts, weird
six words to change the world. 