Category Archives: news

by | July 29, 2008 · 1:37 am

even stevens? nah, shia’s fairly tipsy.

Shia LaBeouf made a teeny bit of an oopsie–as in, a DUI. Side note, but trying to spell his last name makes me feel as if I’m typing while drunk. It never looks right, and it rarely is. I always have to Wikipedia that shit and then copy and paste. And don’t even get me started on trying to say it. Okay, back to “the news”.

A few nights ago, he was just cruising around in his truck with a friend (who happens to be a girl. Grrr.) and accidentally ran into another car and flipped his truck. Eek. Fortunately, everyone else involved was treated for only minor injuries, but Shia had to have surgery on his left hand and banged his knee up. Ouch. According to his PR person, who is for sure having the worst week ever, he’ll be back to filming Transformers 2 in a month.

This is not the first time he’s gotten in trouble for being plastered. He was arrested last fall for being a jackass at a Walgreen’s (nice work, buddy). He did, however, have a pretty cute mugshot. Even with glassy eyes. See?

Yeah, I’d, um, “date” that. Rawr.

This whole thing is devastating to me, because, let’s face it, the only reason I went to see the ridiculous aliens attack Indiana Jones movie is due to the fact that he was in it. (Sorry, Alicia.) I’ve got a thing for him, but this is not to his credit. I mean, I can’t fantasize about him driving us around in his truck along the California coastline (and me looking gorgeous) if I’m frightened that’s he’s so drunk he’ll drive us right off the edge. UGH.

Whatever, Shia. You got lucky this time. And everybody loves a bad boy, just don’t do it again.

Oh, and just for the irony, here is something he said on Letterman after his Walgreen’s fiasco:

“Drinking and driving is one thing, but drinking and shopping … it’s just as bad.”

Um, I’m going to say drinking and driving is worse, but maybe that’s just me.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 28, 2008 · 11:35 pm

department of things that are unsurprising.

This just in: our Department of Justice has been compromised. By terrorists? Nope. By political corruption and the antithesis of justice–discrimination. As Stephen Colbert would say, a wag of my finger to you, DOJ. Watch out, folks, I’m about to launch into a political tirade. But what I’m talking about is important and every American should be upset.

A report released by the DOJ’s inspector general and internal ethics office confirms what has been known for quite awhile–that top aides under Alberto Gonzales broke the law by using illegal hiring tactics and discriminating against those deemed to be too left leaning. Basically, if you disagreed with the current administration, you couldn’t get a job. Damn, that sucks, because roughly 70% of America disagrees with Bush right now.

Anyway, Monica Goodling, a top aide, was apparently the mastermind behind this project. She would ask leading questions in interviews to gage the political leanings of potential employees. And if they were not in line with George W. Bush and his cronies, they were not hired. This, of course, resulted in the hiring of some less than qualified candidates. Good job, Monica! That’s exactly what this country needs! Perfect, just perfect. You can read the horror stories for yourself here and here.

In my perfect world, our president would be Jed Bartlet (who is from New Hampshire! Heyyyyy), and the White House would be run by Sam Seaborn, Josh Lyman, CJ Cregg, Leo McGarry, and Toby Ziegler. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please NetFlix the West Wing seasons 1-4 right now. The other seasons are okay, but those are the glory days (WHY OH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE, SORKIN?). Anyway, even in my perfect/fictional world run by Democratic politics, Republicans were hired. Because that’s the right thing to do. I’m talking about Ainsley Hayes, kids.

Monica Goodling may seem like Ainsley Hayes–a blonde, Republican lawyer. Except Ainsley Hayes was awesome. And had ethics.

Here is Monica (oh, the irony of this pose):

Here is Ainsley:

I’m obviously idealistic about government, because I’ve witnessed grassroots politics (power from the people) and believe that the intentions of many politicians are good. But this is a let down, and I don’t like it. No matter who has control of the White House and Congress, the Department of Justice should be freed of this shameful politicization. We as Americans–we as the United States–depend on it.

And now, friends, I’m going to go eat my emotions and watch six straight hours of the West Wing on my MacBook. And then, I’m going to do something to work for change.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 26, 2008 · 11:04 pm

wonder if the olsens had trouble…

I’ve written before about how the college admissions process mystifies me. I also don’t often understand employment decisions, or acceptances into all sorts of programs (Teach For America, for instance). In each situation, someone has to make a decision based on relatively little information, and they must choose from among many, many applicants or candidates. It’s always sort of a fluke. It’s a hard job, and I certainly wouldn’t want to do it.

I found this article in today’s New York Times very interesting. Called “Is There a Better Half,” it talks about the unique challenges that twins and triplets face when applying to college. On top of considering whether or not they want to be together, or at least geographically close, they also have to consider how being a twin or a triplet will affect their applications when applying to the same school:

“Other people were applying to Harvard from our school,” Olivia [one of a set of triplets] explains, “and it’s not like Harvard was going to take five people. Sometimes it only takes one or two. I knew colleges place this huge emphasis on geographical diversity. So were they really going to take two people from the exact same household?”

Eek. Applying to college is hard enough as it is; I wouldn’t want any other factors complicating the process. (Thing about the agony that the Gosselins will go through!) Take a look at the article, then grab a frosty beverage and head outside, as I plan to do riiiiiight now.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | July 26, 2008 · 7:34 pm

here come the men in black.

So according to a former Apollo 14 (not 13) astronaut, aliens exist–they not only exist, they’ve visited us multiple times over the years, but our big, bad government has covered it up (a government conspiracy theory? Gasp! How revolutionary!). But not to fear, friends, because Dr. Edgar Mitchell assures us that if they were hostile and wanted us to be dead by now, we would be. Phew! The good doctor told all of this told all of this to Kerrang! radio. You can listen to the radio show here, or just read these quotes.

“I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we’ve been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real.”

“It’s been well covered up by all our governments for the last 60 years or so, but slowly it’s leaked out and some of us have been privileged to have been briefed on some of it.”

“I’ve been in military and intelligence circles, who know that beneath the surface of what has been public knowledge, yes – we have been visited. Reading the papers recently, it’s been happening quite a bit.”

Wow, he sounds–to use his word AGAIN, privileged. Here’s some more good news. Aliens look EXACTLY like we expected them to! Big eyes, big heads, and small bodies. And who doesn’t like being right?

Now, I know it isn’t my place to judge or say what is real and what is not (but this blog is 50% mine and I’m going to do what I want, duh). And despite the fact that Dr. Mitchell did a moonwalk and is very smart, I think he’s being a tad bit moony about this. I mean, come on. Aliens? Really? But then again, if you’ve ever been to a Waffle House between the hours of 11 p.m. and 5 a.m., it is convincing. There are some strange looking folks there…

Anyway, I did some thinking and made a list of aliens I wouldn’t mind running into and those I would. Here are some that I would feel fairly okay about:

Here are those that would most likely upset me:

And finally, the scariest of all:

Ugh. And just because I’m feeling frisky, here is a music video featuring a really talented alien:

Let me see you just bounce with me, just bounce with me, just bounce with me. Come on just slide with me, now slide with me…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 26, 2008 · 6:26 pm

youtube clip of today: last lecture.

Last year, Professor Randy Pausch gave his final lecture at Carnegie Mellon. Pausch, a computer science professor, had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given just a month or so. He died on Friday. Here is the video of his moving last lecture, titled, “Achieving Your Childhood Dreams”. This lecture became an internet sensation, a book, and Pausch even made an appearance on Oprah.

While over 400 people attended his original lecture and millions have since heard his speech, he said his message was ultimately for his three children. He wrote in his book:

“I was trying to put myself in a bottle that would one day wash up on the beach for my children.”

How eloquent is that?

RIP Randy Pausch, thank you for your wisdom. He said, “If I don’t seem as depressed or morose as I should be, sorry to disappoint you.” You didn’t disappoint, Randy, you inspired.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 25, 2008 · 8:48 pm

when our work’s done for us.

Thanks to NYC Correspondent Annie, we are considering starting a new regular feature: great six-word headlines where the work is done for us. For instance:

“Japan’s newest growth industry: Asian tourists”

You can read the whole article here, but don’t bother. The title’s the only entertaining part. Keep an eye out for more of these, or send your own excellent six-word headlines to sixwordstochangetheworld@gmail.com.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | July 25, 2008 · 3:37 pm

colorado’s got mountains, mccain, and ME!

In case you hadn’t heard amidst the news of the Barackstar hanging out in Germany, John McCain will be in the great state of Colorado today. Woo hoo! While driving to work this morning, I passed the Grand Hyatt where McCain will speak to a group of veterans, and I was relieved, for his sake, to see that there were actually reporters there. (We’re clearly not huge fans of Johnny here at SWTCTW, but I’m starting to almost pity the old guy. Did you hear about how he watched Obama’s speech to four billion Germans from a German restaurant in Ohio? Oh, John.)

I wanted to liveblog McCain’s speech today, but then I realized that a) I’m not a veteran and thus wouldn’t be allowed into the event, b) I have to work today, and c) even if those other two things weren’t true, my laptop is so fragile and close to death that it cannot leave the house. So, no liveblogging.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | July 24, 2008 · 11:53 pm

stop this giant from mocking god!

 

I’m pretty open about the fact that I’m obsessed with the snarky political commentary site Wonkette. Recently, I’ve been loving their mockery of the American Family Association’s efforts to Boycott McDonald’s. (Background on Wonkette’s mockery here; link to the Boycott McDonald’s website here.) Basically, McDonald’s donated some money to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, a bunch of self-righteous, intolerant people got angry, and these people decided to clog their arteries at another establishment. They are encouraging their fellow Christians to boycott America’s favorite fast food restaurant with persuasive, well-written comments like these:

“I`m sorry that you have made the decision that heterosexul folks such as i are not welcome in your resturants any longer. i will not argue your decision. By giving your resturants sapport to the homosexual groups you have told me my believes and lifestyle are not yours and i`m not welcome in your resturants anylonger.”

The group’s latest — and by far, most hilarious — weapon is this gem of a video:

Eh, we were always Wendy’s girls here at SWTCTW.  Mmm, Baconator.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | July 24, 2008 · 11:24 pm

something borrowed, something blue, something…botoxed?

We’ve discussed plastic surgery a little here at SWTCTW. As I mentioned in this post,I think plastic surgery trends are getting a leetle nuts these days, and my thoughts and fears were confirmed by one of today’s New York Times articles. In “It’s Botox For You, Dear Bridesmaids,” Abby Ellin talks about the latest fad in plastic surgery: brides encouraging and/or paying for their bridesmaids to get everything from Botox to boob jobs.

To begin with, I’m the kind of girl who thinks that over-the-top weddings are unnecessary. I know that many women want their wedding to be the best day ever and are happy to spend bajillions of Daddy’s dollars on the perfect ceremony, but I just don’t see the point. Give me an “I do”, a cake, and a party with an open bar, and I’ll be happy. But all those things aside, plastic surgery for bridesmaids strikes me as out-of-this-world absurd. In the article, the brides who want to Botox their BFFs seem to want to do it as a gift. As 35-year-old bride-to-be Kasey Knauer explains:

“Giving them a bracelet isn’t as special as spending an evening together. Plus, as you get older, everyone is more conscientious about their skin and appearance,” she said. “Giving them something for themselves — as opposed to something that they’ll never wear again — is more meaningful.”

And I guess if her bridesmaids are the kind of people who would want Botox anyway, that is a pretty nice gift. Still, the whole thing strikes me as a little Stepford wife-y. As in, “My bridesmaids will wear perfect matching dresses, they will be skinny, and they will NOT be wrinkled. Smile, girls!.”

Other brides are encouraging their bridesmaids to get their teeth whitened or go tanning before the wedding so that they all look more or less the same. One bride took things a little far:

…two women were claustrophobic and couldn’t bear standing in a tanning capsule. “They asked the bride if they could use regular tanning cream from a salon,” Ms. Goldberg said. The bride refused; she wanted everyone to be the same shade. The women ultimately declined to be bridesmaids. “Friendships of 20-plus years gone over a spray tan?” Ms. Goldberg said. “Sad!”

By that logic, I’d have to make my token Asian friend work the guest book. Sorry, Walsher.

Even more disturbing than the Botox and the tanning, some brides are requesting that their bridesmaids get breast implants:

Becky Lee, 39, a Manhattan photographer, declined when a friend asked her — and five other attendants — to have their breasts enhanced. “We’re all Asian and didn’t have a whole lot of cleavage, and she found a doctor in L.A. who was willing to do four for the price of two,” said Ms. Lee, who wore a push-up bra instead.

Call me old-fashioned, but if a friend asked me to get a boob job for her wedding, I think I’d be insulted. Getting me into an unflattering dress would be hard enough, but getting me to go under the knife? Ha! What happened to mani/pedis and lunch with the girls?

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | July 24, 2008 · 10:25 pm

twisters in the granite state. eek.

There were terrible storms, tornadoes and floods today in my home state of New Hampshire. While most of this was happening, I was happily perched on my couch with my trusty MacBook on my lap and Chinese Crested Hairless dog at my side, totally and utterly oblivious to the devastation–until I got frantic phone calls from my loved ones. “Are you okay?! Are you in the basement?!” Wait, what? Oh there’s a tornado you say? And it’s headed towards me?! My ignorance had been bliss as I was watching Project Runway and Shear Genius reruns and blogging away. And as much as I hate to admit it, I got a little scared.

I flipped on our news channel, WMUR, and sure enough, things were bad. Obviously the first thing that came to my mind was the movie Twister. If I can connect anything to a movie, song, or something political, count on it.

God, that movie is good. I can still feel the adrenaline rush from the first time I saw it, and I’ve seen it approximately 900 times since then. I had dreams of cruising around in an old van with Dusty (who makes my list of coolest fictional movie characters and is oddly attractive to me), singing and searching for twisters. Perhaps I, too, would get to see a cow casually go by. Ahh, good times. But as I was grabbing my dog and running to the basement it hit me: this movie romanticizes something that in real life is very scary.

The truth is, my experience was neither traumatic nor dramatic. After some time of hanging out in my cold and unfinished basement, things were fine. Sadly, people in the town of Epsom had a much harder time. I’m very fortunate, because the only thing I really have to talk about is a Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton movie. New Hampshire is in a state of emergency, so keep the state in your prayers. A lot of people need it. To read about it, click here. I feel very lucky right now.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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