Extreme sheepherding…is it a sport? Is this even real!? I love this sort of tomfoolery! Happy Monday, work force!
[Posted by Kathleen]
Category Archives: sports
but please don’t lose that butt.
Wow, so I just realized why I never became a famous basketball player like my father might have dreamed of: I have no ass. No, seriously. Apparently this matters. Pete Thamel of the New York Times wrote an entire article about how Pitt’s DeJuan Blair’s large “backside” has afforded him a great advantage. I’ve never been a fan of boys with big butts, but in this case, I’ll support Blair and his booty. If only because it compelled a writer to reference Sir Mix-A-Lot in a NYT piece.
[Posted by Mallory]
joggers always find the dead bodies.
Let me tell you about what happens when I go running.
Before I go running, it’s typically a battle of Good Mallory versus Lazy Mallory. Good Mallory says “Hey! It’s nice out! When it’s nice out sometimes you enjoy the run for almost the first four minutes! Go do it!” Lazy Mallory counters with “But you were kind of sick yesterday! Don’t worry! Keep lying in your bed!” Good Mallory says “You don’t feel sick anymore, do you? Also, what time did you wake up today?” Bad Mallory sheepishly admits “Um, 1 p.m.” Then Good Mallory finishes it up with “EXACTLY. I win, you lazy ass. Go running.”
(It should go without saying that by running I mean jogging slowly for a short amount of time.)
So I turn off my schizo and head out for my run. There’s a nice little wooded path by my house, which is pretty flat and not that long (that’s what she said?). I go running there regularly (read: every other month).
For the first, oh, six minutes, things are going well. Nice temperature, I’m digging my On-The-Go playlist, etc. etc. Then some asshole rock jumps out and trips me, my right foot bends awkwardly under me, and I fall. Hard. My train of thoughts was as follows:
1. Hahahhahahahahahahahahaha.
2. Oh shit. What if this is one of those moments where nothing hurts and then all of a sudden you look and somehow your femur bone is sticking out through your shin?
3. If that were to happen, how would I get back to my apartment?
4. Hey, my knee is bleeding. Bad ass.
5. Did that guy with the dog see me fall?
6. Does this mean I can go home and lie on the couch?
7. Even better, can I call in sick at work for this?
8. I guess this is why uncoordinated people who hate running shouldn’t run.
Before the dude with the dog can get to me, I stand my sorry self back up and start hobbling away. Guy with dog looks at me with pity and is all “Uhhh, you okay?”
In the days since my devastating and life-threatening injury, my ankle has gone from normal looking to softball size to cankle-esque (EW) with a purpleish hue. And I’m rocking an ace bandage. It’s like I’m a real athlete! Also, I got to feel pretty justified doing nothing for the past few days. R.I.C.E., baby:
I understand that this is a crappy, generally useless photo. But hey, camera phones!
Throughout this whole harrowing process I’ve learned one very important lesson: mild injuries are WAY less fun when you don’t get to skip school for them.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under adventures, humor, sports
odds and ends for sunday afternoon.
Greetings, earthlings. After the most exciting Saturday night ever (I ate half a block of cheese, apple slices, 3 pickles, a piece of pizza, BBQ chips, and a bowl of chili. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.), I find myself slothing on the couch of fellow blogger Mal and dear friend Ms. Potter. Naturally, I have been catching up on all the interesting news that I missed whilst stuffing my face with high sodium foods. Here we go:
*Michael Phelps smoked a bong, oh my! AND THERE IS PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE! I’m not surprised. He swims fast but in his spare time, he likes to move slooooooooooow. Here’s the best quote from the story:
“He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits. Michael ended up getting a little paranoid, though, because before too long he looked like he was nervous and ran out of the place.”
Haha. Five bucks the kid who said this quote was stoned out of his mind and giggled for hours after saying “the gold medal winner of bong hits”. Here’s the picture.
Whoopsies! But in all honesty, this guy takes six drug tests a day, I hardly think he’s a pothead.
*Lisa Loeb got mawwwwwwwied! She married Roey Hershkovitz, a teevee producer. You can read the cute NYT announcement here. Oddly enough, there’s no mention of her E! show, “#1 Single”, which chronicled her miserable dating life and her never-ending, desperate quest to get married. Funny they didn’t mention it. Eek. Here’s a video of her actual number one single, “Stay”. LOVE THAT SONG. It’s so 7th grade angsty. But congrats to LL and her man!
* If you watched the inauguration, you saw Aretha Franklin and her [insert adjective of choice] hat. Her hat is historic enough on its own, apparently, because the Smithsonian Museum has requested it.
“I am considering it. It would be hard to part with my chapeau since it was such a crowning moment in history,” says the Queen of Soul. “I would like to smile every time I look back at it and remember what a great moment it was in American and African-American history. Ten cheers for President Obama.”
And then she went on about being a natural woman and all that jazz. What do you think about her hat?
So no SERIOUS news, just things I find interesante (that’s Spanish for “interesting” FYI). I need to go eat sodium free foods. I’ll post more exciting things later, I promise. Happy Superbowl Sunday! GO CARDINALS! Honestly, I don’t care, but I’m rooting for them because running back Tim Hightower is a RICHMOND SPIDER.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under adventures, blogging, celebrities, definitely not politics, fashion, food, history, music, news, pop culture, random, sports, thoughts, TV, YouTube
where carrie bradshaw learned her stuff.
All the way back in 1986, Newsweek magazine, in an article titled “Too Late for Prince Charming?” reported on a study that said single women over the age of 40 were more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married. This video is the response to that statistic:
There are so many pieces of wonderfully terrible advice in this video that I really just have to let the video speak for itself (although, a small stuffed animal? Really?!). Even if you think you have gained enough information to make your head explode halfway through, please make sure to watch the video through to the end; the last piece of advice is undoubtedly the best.
[Posted by Madeline]
Filed under adventures, animals, ben and jerry's, crushes, definitely not politics, drinks, humor, random, sex, sports, YouTube
just six words and a picture.
I will never pretend that I actually pay attention to football, but I am biologically required to care about the annual CU/Nebraska game. This year’s was just devastating for real CU fans, and me.
Ralphie says: “Way to choke, Hawkins.”
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under animals, family, news, six word memoirs, sports
’cause down the shore everything’s alright.
Greetings, readers! It’s your favorite Jersey Shore-correspondent-turned-guest-blogger here, Madeline! I’ll be filling in for Kathleen while she’s gallivanting around South America, living life in the adventurous way expected from twenty-somethings. Personally, I defy those expectations by spending most of my free time watching the teevee with my dog. How exciting for all of us.
Kathleen has left some pretty big flip-flops to fill but she assures me that I’m well prepared as I’m unemployed and still suffering from regular bouts of post-college depression. Still, this is a big task so I’ll start off slowly and in the way most entertaining to me: by talking about myself! So that we can all become better acquainted I’ll follow the SWTCTW tradition set by Mallory and Kathleen:
About Madeline
pictured above, your favorite bloggers and guest blogger
(is it weird that we have this many pictures of us snuggling in beds together?)
People/things not to be trusted: curling irons, Tyra Banks, humidity, decaf coffee.
Unhealthily obsessed with: all things French, high heels, Bruce Springsteen, Madeleine Albright, Ireland, cocktail dresses.
Favorite Sports: skiing, tailgating, group e-mailing.
Favorite Foods: champagne, brie, peanut butter.
Six word memoir: I’m Madeline! Nice to meet you! (Okay so that’s a temporary one but it works!)
[Posted by Madeline]
Filed under blogging, post-college depression, random, six word memoirs, sports
i’m legit terrified of spiders now.
So my friends all know that I’m nature girl–yeah, it’s weird. My envrionmentally friendly mom put me in a lot of nature classes growing up. What of it? NATUUUUUUUUUURE! GOULET!
Knowing that I LOVE nature, imagine my reaction when I saw this headline, and this picture:
Giant spider snapped eating bird in backyard near Cairns
Yup. I freaked the eff out. This will no doubt appear in my nightmares.
Despite my fear of spiders, I went to a school where the mascot was a spider. SPIDERS EVERYWHERE ON EVERYTHING. AHHH. Yes, I am a proud Richmond Spider. And devastated that I will not be able to make it to Homecoming this weekend. Miss me. GO SPIDERS! (But only the nice ones. That go to Richmond.)
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, blogging, definitely not politics, news, post-college depression, random, sports
being a baller never gets old.
Ken Mink is a badass. The 73-year-old just made the Roane State basketball team. Roane State, by the way, is in Tennessee. He’s listed as a senior on the roster–not to be confused with a senior citizen (ohhhhhhhhh). Anyway, the Minkster played college hoops back in the day too. But, like I said, he’s a badass. According to the Knox news:
So Mink, whose playing career at Lees (Ky.) Junior College came to an unceremonious end in 1956 when he was dismissed – wrongly, by his account – for allegedly soaping the coaches’ office with shaving cream, wrote to several colleges in search of a place to play.
Oh man, there’s a prank that went out of style. Time to bring back soaping, ya’ll. But I digress.
Mink is nearly twice as old as the school itself, which was founded in 1971.
Damnnnn.
Look how intense he is in that picture! Sadly, in a one-on-one game, this septgenarian would probably kick my ass. And then out drink me at the bar. Whatev, he seems cool.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under crushes, news, pop culture, random, sports
six words to change the world. 