One word: RAWR.
Jimmy Kimmel strikes again! Who knew he was so funny?
[Posted by Kathleen]
Category Archives: sports
youtube clip of today: dr. mcswimmy.
Filed under celebrities, crushes, humor, pop culture, random, sports, TV, YouTube
joseph petcka is a huge jerkface.
Former minor league baseball player and “actor” Joseph Petcka killed his girlfriend’s cat. (His girlfriend, well let me make an assumption and say EX-girlfriend, is Sports Illustrated writer Lisa Altobelli.) Why would anyone do that? Well according to court papers, he yelled “You love that cat more than me!”. Whoa. That is absolutely pathetic on his part. And then he kicked poor Norman the cat to death. The terrible story should end there, but it doesn’t. Today is the start of Petcka’s trial and here is what he says. Killing 7 lb. Norman was–and I am not making this up–self defense. Norman was apparently biting him. Wahhhh wahhhh, Joseph. Grow a pair and then grow up. You aren’t a man, you’re a monster.
Here is Norman–RIP little buddy.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, celebrities, news, random, sports, Uncategorized
unsurprising separations and other important news.
Because I’m such a DC local now (someone even asked me for directions today! No word on whether they made it to their destination safely, but I’m optimistic…), I read the free little daily newspaper that you pick up on the street. It’s basically a dumbed down, easy-to-digest version of the Washington Post. Today there were some pretty interesting celebrity tidbits, so I thought I’d share those and other pieces of news with you, dear readers:
- Brace yourselves for this first one, folks: Chris Kattan (or Mr. Peepers to you) has filed for separation from his way hotter model wife. They had been married for a staggering eight weeks. In fact, Kathleen posted about the nuptials back in June, and because she is such a wise, wise blogger, she was already skeptical. [People]
- Lady rapper Da Brat was sentenced to three years in prison for — wait for it — smashing a hostess over the head with a bottle of rum last Halloween. Yo ho ho, eh? An intergalactic high five to anyone name a song she sang… [Inside Track]
- So the Olympics are over. Thank goodness we have the DNC to casually watch now so that we don’t have to turn back to watching reruns of The Hills. Kathleen will be reporting live from MY Mile High City, and I’ll be doing world-changing things like going to class and watching the speeches on the teevee. Didn’t love Pelosi’s speech today, and didn’t get to see the Kennedys’ because I was…um…watching Jon & Kate Plus 8.
- The Brits (the English? When I was abroad my English friends got very angry if we called them British) are the new Americans, at least when it comes to drinking heavily in foreign countries and giving your own country a bad name. Great quote from the mayor of Malia, a popular resort town in Greece: “They scream, they sing, they fall down, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit.” Sounds like a normal Thursday to me. [New York Times]
- So, this is kind of old news, but Tucker Max is making a movie. Now, I used to be one of those people who thought he was HI-larious and I stalked his website and maybe met him once, sober, at a sketchy bar in downtown Richmond. (And I’m ashamed to admit that not one but TWO of my acquaintances have “known” Mr. Max in a different way. I feel dirty just thinking about that.) Now that I’m a super mature college graduate, though, I’m kind of over the Tucker Max thing. I prefer to make my own embarrassing stories. Anyway, according to several people one set, Tucker is miserable to work with. [Gawker]
And just in case you thought this blog didn’t teach you anything, know this: my little sister (who, in her slight defense, has been living under the rock known as sorority rush for the past two weeks), correctly answered an extra credit question in class today because she knew the name of the new Dem VP nominee. The only reason she knew that answer? By reading this here blog. Take THAT, legitimate news sources.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under celebrities, movies, music, news, politics, pop culture, sex, sports, TV, weddings
youtube clip of today: rhythmic gymnasts.
Phelps Schmelps. Lochte Schmocte. Roker and Lauer are MAGICAL. If you don’t feel like listening to the witty banter (“Why don’t I just do javelin catching?” Haha.), fastforward to 3:34 and watch from there.
Ahhh! You too, Brian Williams? I love you, Brian Williams.
[Posted by Kathleen]
newsflash! i found all the speedos!
Apparently, the International Olympic Committee has been hiding them in the diving well. And frankly, I think that’s unfair. Let me present my evidence.
Exhibit A, Alexandre Despatie from Canada:
Don’t know why this says radical gay on the top, but ignore that:
Exbibit B, Chris Colwill from the U S of A:
Anyone else see a little Kevin Bacon in him?
And Exhibit C, Troy Dumais, who is also American:
I rest my case.
Of all the summer Olympic sports, I can’t say diving is my favorite. There’s a skeptical little voice inside my head that thinks, “Isn’t diving just a cop-out, less-hard version of gymnastics?” Not that I can so much as jump correctly off a diving board. Still, it’s fun to watch, even though the Chinese keep winning EVERY DIVING EVENT.
[Posted by Mallory]
and who said speedos weren’t allowed?
It’s a long four years between Olympic swimming competitions, but here’s a little something to get you through the barren months:
Somehow, I’m not even noticing Michael’s screwy teeth…
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under celebrities, crushes, sex, sports
an extreme sport in your pocket.
Dear readers, let’s take a break from the insanity that is the Olympics (and a breather from our FURY that Natsia Liukin got second in the uneven bars even though she TIED the Chinese child), and focus on the red-headed stepchild of sports: extreme yo-yo.
You heard me right. The wacky little toy that you loved as a child — despite the fact that your tricks were limited to tossing it up and down really fast (or was that just me?) — is back with a vengeance. The 2008 World Yo-Yo Contest was recently held in Orlando, and perhaps because they aren’t owned by NBC, the New York Times was allowed to cover the event. I should warn you that the article on the contest is at times a little too, er, punny, with gems like these:
But any national rivalries are just loose slipknots untangled by the Internet, where tricks are traded and friendships are tied.
“They have the language of the string,” Gregory Cohen, the event’s organizer, said.
They have the language of the string? SERIOUSLY, GREGORY?!
Still, I have to admit that it’s a kind of cool sport (hobby?). There are seven different divisions, and each one is pretty nuts. Just try to imagine this:
In 4A, the off-string division, some competitors cast the string, like a whip or a fishing rod, and wrapped it around the axle of an airborne yo-yo. The string-on-string friction was enough for the string to virtually tie itself and snare the spinning yo-yo. It was like watching a frog’s tongue zap a fly.
At first, my brain honestly could not process that. (An off-string yo-yo competition? Isn’t that an oxymoron?) But this video proves that it is not:
Kid’s got skillz. Who needs Warped Tour and skate parks when you’ve got a yo-yo and hundreds of hours of inspirational YouTube videos?
P.S. If you’re feeling frisky (and by frisky I mean bored), take a look at this Web page about yo-yo trivia.
[Posted by Mallory]
game over. lochte is my soulmate.
New York correspondent Lana sent me this video, which proved once and for all that Ryan Lochte and I are destined for each other. Unforunately, it’s not on YouTube, so I can only give you the link. The point is, he loves breakfast sandwiches. Fated, no? And apparently he also loves salt. I can see it now: we’ll be married and I’ll be fat and pregnant, while he’ll still be hot and siwmmer-y. We’ll start every day with a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich, and then go home and do lines of salt off of his gold medals.
Want more? Me too:
That’s the grill he wore while accepting his silver medal at the 2007 World Championships in Melbourne.
Here’s another video of Lochte after the Olympic Trials:
Perhaps not the most eloquent of speakers, but perfect nonetheless. And those other bitches who think they love him better back the fuck off. He’s mine.
[Posted by Mallory]
just six words and a picture.
Here is the Chinese Gymnastics team is totally underage edition. (Note: Olympic gymnasts must be at least 16 in the year of the Olympics. Click here to read how China cheated) Below is all the evidence I needed. Haha :
Glitter? Yup. She is DEFINITELY fourteen.
Filed under news, six word memoirs, sports
and i’m BACK in the game!
Okay, so even though I am an adult and got the cable and Internet arranged, the Comcast guy doesn’t come until tomorrow, so I’ve been practically weeping at every Olympic reference in the news because I still don’t have a working TV, dammit. Today, however, I remembered that I have very little to do, plus a working computer, plus access to the Internet. And MSNBC has video. At least for swimming, I’m feeling a little caught up. The commie Olympic folks won’t let people post videos on YouTube, but if you didn’t see the men’s 400 free relay, find a way to watch it immediately. I may have sobbed while watching the boys celebrate. Here’s Michael Phelps celebrating in a slightly terrifying way:
Nice work, Michael. Equally nice work in the 800 free relay, and everything else you’ve swam and won. I’ve gotten plenty of flack on this blog for making fun of the way certain European monkey athletes look, but I’d just like to see a little less of Michael Phelp’s fucked up teeth (which are on an amazing body, and he is an amazing athlete, calm down, Etienne) and a little more of Mr. Lochte. Just saying:
Mmm, now what was I talking about? Ah, right Olympics. Go America!
And Ryan? I like the hair better shaggy.
[Posted by Mallory]
six words to change the world. 
