“With a stop light, green means ‘go’ and yellow means ‘slow down’. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means ‘go’, green means ‘whoa, slow down’, and red means ‘where the heck did you get that banana?'”
Love him.
[Posted by Mallory]
So I’ve been having a life/blog crisis. Here’s what’s up: I’ve been really busy this semester, as you may have guessed since I basically haven’t blogged since W. was president. I’m still pretty busy, but less overwhelmed by my busy-ness. I wanna get back to blogging. Two of my friends at work have blogs, so we talk about them all the time. And my roommate will say things like, “Oh, did you hear about [insert weird news story here]? It’s the type of thing you guys would have blogged about.” PLUS, there are things in my life that happen that I feel the urge to tell about 200 friends and strangers. (Stats have been low lately, shocking.) The point is, I MISS BLOGGING.
I threw this idea out to Kathleen today, and she’s totally on board:
Me: i vote let’s start blogging again for real. i have a lil more time on my hands now, and i know you could use a break from job-applying and craigslist searching, and i miss it. LET’S DO IT GIRLFRIEND.
Kathleen: holler hey. i like it. FOR REAL.
As you see, we are very important and articulate and passionate about our blogging. HOLD US TO IT.
Here’s an example of something that I feel the need to share with you, dear readers who still care about us: a few hours ago, I visited the site www.baconfreak.com (it’s, um, a long story?) and the following song lyrics came on, out loud, on my WORK COMPUTER, quite audibly, in my crowded office: “Just gimme my bacon…”
Then, a little bit later, I shadowed my officemate for a settlement conference. I didn’t know I’d be attending the conference, so I am wearing my basic business casual casual attire. Picture me, in a room full of 50-75 lawyers in suits, wearing bright green pants.
No, they weren’t quite that bright, and no, I was not wearing that wig. But still, it was awkward. Thanks J.Crew, you preppy assholes.
Ladies and gentlemen, if only for moments like these, I’m back.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under adventures, blogging, food, humor, post-college depression
I haven’t posted in a few years, but tonight was a night of film for me, and I have some things to say:
1. Everyone — and I mean everyone — should find a way to see Mario’s Story. It is one of the most amazing documentaries I have ever seen, and Mario Rocha is indescribably inspiring. I had the great fortune of meeting him tonight and hearing him speak, and I have rarely been so impressed or touched by an individual’s story. Lest you think you’ve had it rough, think of Mario. Here’s the trailer for the documentary:
2. Kate Winslet and Sean Penn…both of you are FUCKING AMAZING.
3. I have been sobbing since around the time that Heath Ledger’s family accepted his award. That was like an hour ago. I think I believe in hormones now.
4. The children of Slumdog could win Oscars for sheer adorableness. New category, Academy?
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under blogging, celebrities, history, movies, news, pop culture, the arts
This is one of the best things ever. I posted Matt’s first video wayyyy back and here is his 2008 video. I was crying by the end of this video. Why? Because I love puppies and babies, world peace, harmony among the citizens of the world, dancing and traveling. Duh.
I need a real job.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under adventures, crushes, dance, pop culture, post-college depression, random, travel, YouTube
Greetings, earthlings. After the most exciting Saturday night ever (I ate half a block of cheese, apple slices, 3 pickles, a piece of pizza, BBQ chips, and a bowl of chili. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.), I find myself slothing on the couch of fellow blogger Mal and dear friend Ms. Potter. Naturally, I have been catching up on all the interesting news that I missed whilst stuffing my face with high sodium foods. Here we go:
*Michael Phelps smoked a bong, oh my! AND THERE IS PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE! I’m not surprised. He swims fast but in his spare time, he likes to move slooooooooooow. Here’s the best quote from the story:
“He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits. Michael ended up getting a little paranoid, though, because before too long he looked like he was nervous and ran out of the place.”
Haha. Five bucks the kid who said this quote was stoned out of his mind and giggled for hours after saying “the gold medal winner of bong hits”. Here’s the picture.
Whoopsies! But in all honesty, this guy takes six drug tests a day, I hardly think he’s a pothead.
*Lisa Loeb got mawwwwwwwied! She married Roey Hershkovitz, a teevee producer. You can read the cute NYT announcement here. Oddly enough, there’s no mention of her E! show, “#1 Single”, which chronicled her miserable dating life and her never-ending, desperate quest to get married. Funny they didn’t mention it. Eek. Here’s a video of her actual number one single, “Stay”. LOVE THAT SONG. It’s so 7th grade angsty. But congrats to LL and her man!
* If you watched the inauguration, you saw Aretha Franklin and her [insert adjective of choice] hat. Her hat is historic enough on its own, apparently, because the Smithsonian Museum has requested it.
“I am considering it. It would be hard to part with my chapeau since it was such a crowning moment in history,” says the Queen of Soul. “I would like to smile every time I look back at it and remember what a great moment it was in American and African-American history. Ten cheers for President Obama.”
And then she went on about being a natural woman and all that jazz. What do you think about her hat?
So no SERIOUS news, just things I find interesante (that’s Spanish for “interesting” FYI). I need to go eat sodium free foods. I’ll post more exciting things later, I promise. Happy Superbowl Sunday! GO CARDINALS! Honestly, I don’t care, but I’m rooting for them because running back Tim Hightower is a RICHMOND SPIDER.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under adventures, blogging, celebrities, definitely not politics, fashion, food, history, music, news, pop culture, random, sports, thoughts, TV, YouTube
Enjoy an assortment of funny things found on the internets:
Bet your Friday night wasn’t as fun as mine!!!
[Posted by Mallory]
If you hate the Snuggie commercials on teevee as much as I do, you will find this to be humorous. Honestly, I think they make people look like Jedi knights. Which, to some, might be cool. McStarWars, yours is in the mail.
And just for funsies, here is the actual Snuggie commercial. VOM.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, fashion, humor, pop culture, random, TV, weird, YouTube
Here is your crazy story for today! (From the AP)
HEBRON, Ind. — Police say a northern Indiana woman who wasn’t invited to her sister’s wedding reception showed up anyway and attacked the bride, pulling out clumps of her hair.
Twenty-three-year-old Annmarie Bricker of Valparaiso faces a misdemeanor battery charge for last Friday’s attack outside a Porter County home.
The Porter County Sheriff’s Department says a friend was hosting a reception for Nicholas Landry and Lori Kappes — Bricker’s sister — when Bricker attacked Kappes on the front porch.
Police say that after the attack, Kappes had smeared makeup and clumps of hair missing from her head but sought no medical treatment.
Bricker told police she arrived at the home to confront her sister and parents and “just wanted to talk” about family problems. She says she never touched her sister.
She “just wanted to talk”? HA! Liar, liar, pants on fire!
I sense a Lifetime movie script in the works. Toss in a stripper, a pregnancy, and we’ve got ourselves a nice little Sunday afternoon. Maybe Kate Hudson is available?
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, family, humor, news, pop culture, random, TV, weddings, weird
Remember that Iraqi reporter who threw his fancy footwear at the (former!) leader of the free world’s head? Ahh yes, Muntazer al-Zaidi! That silly prankster!
Now, as you could have gathered from my liberal bleeding heart wimpy sappy Obama obsessed blog, I wasn’t W’s biggest fan. But, to quote Austin Powers (and I will NEVER EVER quote it again, by the way. I promise.), “Who throws a shoe? Honestly?!”
To commemorate the Muntazernator’s horrible aim (or W.’s cat-like reflexes, which no doubt are a result of his frequent cat naps), the Iraqis in Sadaam Hussein’s hometown, Tikrit, have unveiled a six-foot statue of a shoe. Cool?
Now that is CLASSY. One and a half tons of pure class with a tree sticking out of it. Just in case you are dumb like me and can’t read Arabic, the inscription says “Muntazer: fasting until the sword breaks its fast with blood; silent until our mouths speak the truth.”
Ah, now that is poetry.
Muntazer, by the way, is in jail. He is facing charges of assaulting a visiting head of state.
And please note about the title of this post, I KNOW that you can’t hear a shoe around the world. I’m only making a nerdy historical reference to “the shot heard round the world”. It’s a line from a poem written by Emerson about the start of the Revolutionary War. WOOO LIBERAL ARTS!
[Posted by Kathleen]
six words to change the world. 
