Thanks to NYC Correspondent Annie, we are considering starting a new regular feature: great six-word headlines where the work is done for us. For instance:
“Japan’s newest growth industry: Asian tourists”
You can read the whole article here, but don’t bother. The title’s the only entertaining part. Keep an eye out for more of these, or send your own excellent six-word headlines to sixwordstochangetheworld@gmail.com.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under news, six word memoirs
We all know that The Breakfast Club is a great movie. I mean that dialogue, those clothes, that touchy-feely message, and the romance? Cinematic genius. Last night I went up to Red Rocks to see the movie as part of their summertime film series, Film on the Rocks. Rather than sitting in a theater, you get to watch movies in a place that looks like this:
Amazing, right? The movie experience is enhanced to begin with based on the setting, and then on top of that, people are generally a lot more vocal during the movie. They cheer at everything, and throw in great comments like “Emiliooooooooooo!” or “What a bitch!” when Molly Ringwald is being annoying. All of this, plus The Breakfast Club’s sheer greatness, made me love the movie even more. And Judd Nelson? HOT. Who knew the Seattle grunge look, bike gloves, and a nose scar could be so attractive?
As Kathleen would say, rawr!
And look how fashion-forward Claire was:
High-waisted skirt? Check. Riding boots? Check. AND she eats sushi.
I’ve been sketching around IMDB to keep my Breakfast Club fix going, and I found this excellent tagline for the film:
They were five total strangers, with nothing in common, meeting for the first time. A brain, a beauty, a jock, a rebel and a recluse. Before the day was over, they broke the rules. Bared their souls. And touched each other in a way they never dreamed possible.
Touched each other in a way they never dreamed possible? Shit, they must have shown the PG version last night.
In other news, I have decided that this is the best line in the whole movie, spoken by Emilio himself:
Yo wastoid, you’re not gonna blaze up in here.
I’m totally incorporating ‘wastoid’ into my daily vocabulary.
Okay let’s watch one quick clip and then we can all get back to work. According to my friend Leah, this is the best scene. I think I’d have to agree:
Bitchin’.
UPDATE: Neo, our soon-to-be Eastern Hemisphere Correspondent, just informed us that there is a terrible, terrible new JCPenney ad with all the key scenes from TBC, only with more racial diversity. Take a look:
For the record, Molly Ringwald would NEVER wear anything from JCPenney.
[Posted by Mallory]
Courtesy of my boyfriend Annie, our NYC correspondent, take a look at this Politico article about McCain’s off-color humor (which we’ve discussed a lot at SWTCTW…here and here and here). Here’s an excerpt:
McCain’s humor, by contrast, makes him the political counterpart of the radio host Don Imus (whom he has defended): It’s sharp, unrehearsed and, at times, way, way over the line. This cycle, he’s drawn winces, and worse, for everything from a joking reference to domestic violence to a now-notorious little ditty about bombing Iran. Earlier in his political career, the Arizona press reported that he’d cracked a rape joke that would now probably end any politician’s career, a joke his aides then and now say he doesn’t recall making.
[Posted by Mallory]
In case you hadn’t heard amidst the news of the Barackstar hanging out in Germany, John McCain will be in the great state of Colorado today. Woo hoo! While driving to work this morning, I passed the Grand Hyatt where McCain will speak to a group of veterans, and I was relieved, for his sake, to see that there were actually reporters there. (We’re clearly not huge fans of Johnny here at SWTCTW, but I’m starting to almost pity the old guy. Did you hear about how he watched Obama’s speech to four billion Germans from a German restaurant in Ohio? Oh, John.)
I wanted to liveblog McCain’s speech today, but then I realized that a) I’m not a veteran and thus wouldn’t be allowed into the event, b) I have to work today, and c) even if those other two things weren’t true, my laptop is so fragile and close to death that it cannot leave the house. So, no liveblogging.
[Posted by Mallory]
So I’m filling out a loan application, and the official loan papers have some specific requirements for certain states. Most of them say stuff about attorney’s fees that I don’t understand, but the state-specific rule for Alabama was pretty simple. It said only this:
“CAUTION — IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU THOROUGHLY READ THE CONTRACT BEFORE YOU SIGN IT.”
Excellent.
Okay now I’m off to drink margaritas and watch The Breakfast Club at Red Rocks. Be jealous.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under random
I’m pretty open about the fact that I’m obsessed with the snarky political commentary site Wonkette. Recently, I’ve been loving their mockery of the American Family Association’s efforts to Boycott McDonald’s. (Background on Wonkette’s mockery here; link to the Boycott McDonald’s website here.) Basically, McDonald’s donated some money to the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, a bunch of self-righteous, intolerant people got angry, and these people decided to clog their arteries at another establishment. They are encouraging their fellow Christians to boycott America’s favorite fast food restaurant with persuasive, well-written comments like these:
“I`m sorry that you have made the decision that heterosexul folks such as i are not welcome in your resturants any longer. i will not argue your decision. By giving your resturants sapport to the homosexual groups you have told me my believes and lifestyle are not yours and i`m not welcome in your resturants anylonger.”
The group’s latest — and by far, most hilarious — weapon is this gem of a video:
Eh, we were always Wendy’s girls here at SWTCTW. Mmm, Baconator.
[Posted by Mallory]
We’ve discussed plastic surgery a little here at SWTCTW. As I mentioned in this post,I think plastic surgery trends are getting a leetle nuts these days, and my thoughts and fears were confirmed by one of today’s New York Times articles. In “It’s Botox For You, Dear Bridesmaids,” Abby Ellin talks about the latest fad in plastic surgery: brides encouraging and/or paying for their bridesmaids to get everything from Botox to boob jobs.
To begin with, I’m the kind of girl who thinks that over-the-top weddings are unnecessary. I know that many women want their wedding to be the best day ever and are happy to spend bajillions of Daddy’s dollars on the perfect ceremony, but I just don’t see the point. Give me an “I do”, a cake, and a party with an open bar, and I’ll be happy. But all those things aside, plastic surgery for bridesmaids strikes me as out-of-this-world absurd. In the article, the brides who want to Botox their BFFs seem to want to do it as a gift. As 35-year-old bride-to-be Kasey Knauer explains:
“Giving them a bracelet isn’t as special as spending an evening together. Plus, as you get older, everyone is more conscientious about their skin and appearance,” she said. “Giving them something for themselves — as opposed to something that they’ll never wear again — is more meaningful.”
And I guess if her bridesmaids are the kind of people who would want Botox anyway, that is a pretty nice gift. Still, the whole thing strikes me as a little Stepford wife-y. As in, “My bridesmaids will wear perfect matching dresses, they will be skinny, and they will NOT be wrinkled. Smile, girls!.”
Other brides are encouraging their bridesmaids to get their teeth whitened or go tanning before the wedding so that they all look more or less the same. One bride took things a little far:
…two women were claustrophobic and couldn’t bear standing in a tanning capsule. “They asked the bride if they could use regular tanning cream from a salon,” Ms. Goldberg said. The bride refused; she wanted everyone to be the same shade. The women ultimately declined to be bridesmaids. “Friendships of 20-plus years gone over a spray tan?” Ms. Goldberg said. “Sad!”
By that logic, I’d have to make my token Asian friend work the guest book. Sorry, Walsher.
Even more disturbing than the Botox and the tanning, some brides are requesting that their bridesmaids get breast implants:
Becky Lee, 39, a Manhattan photographer, declined when a friend asked her — and five other attendants — to have their breasts enhanced. “We’re all Asian and didn’t have a whole lot of cleavage, and she found a doctor in L.A. who was willing to do four for the price of two,” said Ms. Lee, who wore a push-up bra instead.
Call me old-fashioned, but if a friend asked me to get a boob job for her wedding, I think I’d be insulted. Getting me into an unflattering dress would be hard enough, but getting me to go under the knife? Ha! What happened to mani/pedis and lunch with the girls?
[Posted by Mallory]
You people may not know this, but I am an extremely mature human being. (Perhaps you gathered that from my previous posts.) In fact, I am so mature that last night I went out and had only ONE glass of wine! This is historic! Sure, I may have also eaten Smartfood for not one but two meals earlier that day, and maybe I stole the wine I was drinking from my mom, and maybe I drank my glass of wine while trying to one-up my new Denver friends with fratty college stories, but that is beside the point. And the point is, I drank in moderation and then went to work the next day. Which means I am basically an adult.
Speaking of work, guess what I did today? I know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t get a chance to end the war in Iraq or invent a kind of cheese that doesn’t make you fat (there’s always tomorrow). I did, however, get to stuff checks into envelopes for nearly six hours. The thing is, I was REALLY good at stuffing the checks into the envelopes. I don’t mean to brag, but other people actually complimented me on my speed. Just saying. Perhaps I’ll nix the grad school plan and find a way to use my envelope-stuffing skills full time.
Anyway, here’s a photo of my coworker and me taking a break:
In other news, it’s almost Friday! YAY!
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under drinks, post-college depression, random
Ah, don’t you love Stuff White People Like? Ol’ Christian Landers doesn’t post new entries very often, but when he does, I read, I laugh, I sigh and realize that I’m totally that white person he’s writing about. His latest entry, #105, is about unpaid internships:
White people view the internship as their foot into the door to such high-profile low-paying career fields as journalism, film, politics, art, non-profits, and anything associated with a museum. Any white person who takes an internship outside of these industries is either the wrong type of white person or a law student. There are no exceptions.
Last summer I turned down a full-time business-y job that would have paid me so that I could work part-time at a non-profit that could barely pay its employees, let alone its interns. Also, I was hoping to make my father even more irritated with me by continuing to make no money. Ever. It worked.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under random
Sometimes, when you give a bunch of girls lots of wine and peach vodka, you can make them all do this:
Happy Hump Day (Cry Face), kids!
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under cry face
six words to change the world. 