Category Archives: fashion

by | January 6, 2009 · 5:51 am

you like my new fake bag?

louis-vuitton-neverfull

Every time I see a Louis Vuitton bag I just assume that it’s fake and you bought it on the street for 40 bucks.  I can’t tell if you paid the full price for it, and I don’t care.  Americans LOVE buying the fake stuff.  I bought a fake Longchamp bag in Turkey for 12 bucks.  (Because it was fake, I pronounced it Long Champ…like it SHOULD be pronounced.  Silly French.)  Anyway, whenever people would compliment my bag, I’d automatically tell them it was a fake.  I mean, why should I pretend like it was real?  That is my pet peeve about counterfeit items–when people act like they’re real.

My pet peeve is one of the reasons I have great admiration for a new shopping center in China.  This shopping center is all about counterfeit items and is totally unapologetic.  They proudly and purposefully spell things differently so as to avoid legal trouble, and it is HILARIOUS.  God love ’em.  For example, you can eat a pizza at a Pizza Huh.  Huh?   I mean, what?  No, not a Pizza Hut, a Pizza Huh.  Regardless, I’m sure you still have the shits “stomach issues” for hours post-gorge.  After your delicious fake pizza, you can enjoy a fake coffee at Bucksstar and buy a “Naik” sweatshirt.  Just do it!  No but seriously, would you do it?  For pictures and a legitimate news story, click here.

Are the Chinese on to something?  Is the answer to consumerism, or is it perpetuating it?  Whoa deep thoughts.  I need something mindless…maybe I’ll catch up on some GG.  You know you love me.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | December 11, 2008 · 6:19 pm

prop 8, the celebrity filled musical.

While the California State Supreme Court waits to hear three separate lawsuits challenging Prop 8 several celebrities have come together with “Funny or Die” to create “Prop 8, The Musical.” Starring John C. Reilly, Maya Rudolph/Kathleen, Allison Janney, Jack Black as Jesus and many more (does anybody else see Darryl from ‘The Office’ in the ensemble?) PLUS a special appearance by Neil Patrick Harris, the musical, while entertaining, argues that gay marriage is good for the economy. And, you know, civil rights (potato, potahto).

Vodpod videos no longer available.

[Posted by Madeline]

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by | December 2, 2008 · 6:38 pm

life imitating art: devil wears prada.

Anna Wintour and Parisian rival Carine Roitfeld

Anna Wintour and Parisian rival Carine Roitfeld

Sacre Bleu!  Conde Nast employees (those that are left, anyway) are squirming with the too-delicious-to-be-true/reduced fat rumor that Vogue dictator-in-chief editor Anna Wintour is soon to be replaced by her french counterpart Carine Roitfeld.  Vite! Somebody get Anne Hathaway to run across Paris in four-inch heels, storm into Anna Wintour’s suite, and remove all of the freesia from the flower arrangements! 

Wintour’s contract is soon to expire, shortly after celebrating her 20th anniversary last Spring, and the rumor-mill has her out of a job as early as January 1st.  Gawker has more of the juicy details here.  Whatever happens, a major change on Vogue’s masthead would turn the fashion world and magazine publishing world upside down.  Although considering the publishing industry has already been tied by its ankles to the top of the Conde Nast building, a shake-up of this proportion could flip everything back to where its supposed to be (and then the hiring freeze will be over and I can have a job!).   

[Posted by Madeline]

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by | November 11, 2008 · 7:50 pm

tuesday afternoon’s snarky gossip girl analysis.

In just a few days, my dear partner Kathleen will be jetting off to South America to trek around the continent in ugly shoes. While she’s gone, we will have a surprise guest blogger take her place. (This probably isn’t a surprise to anyone who cares, but whatever; let us pretend we are important and have guest bloggers like Dooce does.)

This mystery guest blogger and I typically, um, BBM during Gossip Girl each Monday night. For those of you unfortunate souls who still have Razors, and those of you elitists who have iPhones, BBM stands for BlackBerry Messenger, which is Spanish for “The biggest time suck invented since G-Chat.” Unfortunately, last night this mystery guest blogger and I did not get to communicate during the episode, so she sent me an email with her thoughts. Yes, we are aware that we are both pathetic. And no, we don’t care. And yes, candy corn is only 13 cents a bag today at CVS.

Here are our mystery guest blogger’s insightful thoughts about last night’s episode of your favorite guilty pleasure:

I finally watched GG (fuck you, Verizon DVR) and thought I would share some of the thoughts I had with you since we couldn’t bbm: 
 
Aaron?  What’s your name?  Doesn’t matter: creepster.org  (that’s not real link–don’t click it)
 
Times Square?  Right, because downtown hipsters LOVE Times Square.
 
“Plenty of women have been both lover and muse, like Picasso.”  Serena, gramatically you just called Picasso a woman.  And you would use his name since it’s the only artist you’ve ever heard of.  En revanche, Blair’s writers hit it out of the park with their whole cubism line.
 
Dan–you suck at playing it cool.  Way to throw your dad under the bus, asshole.
 
Spotted: lame-o product placement.  Although I’m craving Vitamin Water already.  I hear it goes great with vomit . . .
 
“I’m 18 and it’s a grown-up party.”  PERFECT.  That is exactly what a 17-year-old would say.
 
Yeah, S.  You’re uncomfortable having your picture taken.  I totally believe it.
 
Dan–crack the story?  Kill the story?  Where did you pick up that lingo?
 
“You have a glow, like Chinese lanterns.”  Oh, Dorota. 
 
I heart Blair’s lip color.  And her skin is GLOWING!  How does she make it do that?
 
Um, that huge Construction Work Thug’s e-mail address is LoveLace?  I don’t think so.
 
I want to be on this show just so I can have all of this lingerie.  Because . . . it would look so good on me.
 
Aw, Blair.  Watching her introduce Dorota to Cindy Lauper brought a tear to my eye.  
 
5.19.91.  Dan would use such a lame title
 
HOLY SHIT.  Chuck Bass was born in 1991?!?!
 
“I don’t know how it works in High School . . .”  Excuse me, Aaron but you have three facial hairs.  Shut up.
 
Oh NO!  Rufus is singing!  . . . 3 words.
 
Jenny is wearing Rosary beads as a necklace.  NOT COOL.
 
Don’t die, Bart Bass.  Don’t die!
 
Serena always wanted to live in the 60s?  Right. 

And for more, check out this article by nymag.com.

Somehow, endlessly mocking Gossip Girl seems to make it more acceptable that I watch it. No?

[Posted by Mallory/MYSTERY BLOGGER PERSON]

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by | November 9, 2008 · 7:08 am

backpacking is not conducive to fashion.

In just a few days, I will be embarking on a crazy adventure to South America.  (Have no fear, dedicated readers. SWTCTW will be getting a guest blogger!)

I can’t wait.

In my mind, I had visions of looking somewhat cute in my pictures.  My rose-colored legit backpacker’s backpack, cute hiking shorts and a tank top, chilling in my Rainbows with a nice tan.  You know…looking like a really cool world traveler in her twenties. Then reality hit me like a case of food poisoning while shopping at EMS today–  I’m going to look absolutely heinous.

This ugly realization happened while perusing the shoe section.  I looked at the hiking running shoes.  Ugh.  All repulsive.  I usually mock people who wear these shoes, but in my defense it’s because they unnecessarily wear them as everyday shoes.  I would actually “need” them.  So I tried on a pair that was less offensive than the rest.  After deciding I could live with them, I asked the guy if they were good for backpacking.  “You will die if you wear those shoes,” he said.  Quite forcefully, too.  DIE?!  I’m scared enough as it is!  I don’t need your fear-mongering on top of my parents’ completely-expected-but-still-a-little-confidence-rattling paranoia, EMS dude.  He then pointed me to a pair of shoes that made my stomach lurch.  Yes, the ones pictured above.  I was panicked.  He told me I was going to die if I didn’t get these shoes!

The truth is that I’m just not that hardcore.  When I say backpacking, I mean exploring the continent with a backpack…not spelunking and scaling mountains.

And I’ve changed the mental picture I have of myself traveling.  I’m not looking to sound or act prissy.  So what if I’m wearing clothes that aren’t the most flattering?  So what if I don’t look my absolute best?  Who am I trying to impress?  I’m just glad I’m going.  I’m going to see the world and I don’t care what I have to look like to get there.

But those shoes?  NO WAY.  My old pair of kicks will just have to do.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | October 28, 2008 · 6:03 pm

vote hasselback 2008: mayor of clowntown.

I just threw up in my mouth.

[Posted by Mouse]

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by | October 23, 2008 · 8:47 pm

palin pals around with democratic donkeys.

And by pals around, I mean wears them around her neck.  I can’t help but wonder if this was part of the $150,000 the RNC (AKA those who donated to the RNC–don’t you feel hoodwinked?) paid for.

The main point of this post was to point out how clueless Palin is.  I mean, the woman is legit wearing a scarf that screams vote Democratic.  (Where can I get me one of those?!)  Buuuut since I have your attention, let’s talk about that $150,000.

So much for being a small town hockey mom, eh?  That’s probably twice as much, if not more, than Joe the fake plumber makes in a year.  That’s more than a college education.  That’s health care for a small business.  That’s a ton of money to spend on clothes.

So I think the argument of Republicans being fiscally conservative is now thrown out the window.  Because, oh girl, some of those clothes…I could have gotten at Forever21 for twenty bucks.  And if I wanted to go “upscale”, I could still find them at Macy’s.  On sale.  Those clothes are pretty basic.  So we all know what the Republicans and Sarah Palin choose to do with their money.  They are not bargain shoppers.  I mean, look at the national debt.

What would you do with $150,000?  Where do your priorities lie?

How dare she talk about relating to Americans struggling to pay their bills and get their kids through school.  How dare she?  Oh doggone it, you betcha that Joe Six Pack doesn’t go on shopping sprees with the RNC’s plastic.

UPDATED:  From Politico, here is Johnny’s defense of the $150,000.

“She needed clothes at the time,” McCain told a group of Florida reporters.

And now, to add on to tragedy that is Sarah Palin, let me just attach a supposed copy of her report card and SAT scores, compliments of one of our DC correspondents.

OUCH.  Baby girl didn’t even break a thousand.

Sorry for ranting a bit.  I’m all fired up.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | October 16, 2008 · 2:08 am

really, bravo? finale during the debate?

Project Runway Spoiler Alert…

Okay, so I am a bad American and was switching back and forth between Project Runway and the debate tonight (John shut up about Joe the Plumber…Joe the Plumber doesn’t make $250k per year). Now, I thought Kenley had the best collection tonight, which isn’t to say that I didn’t love Korto and Leanne’s collections. I have loved all three of them from the beginning, personal style included. But JESUS CHRIST Leanne, could you have WASHED YOUR HAIR for the finale? YOUR FIRST RUNWAY SHOW EVER? I get it, Leanne. I have hair like you. Hair that needs to be washed every day. And here’s what I do to combat that: I wash my hair every day. Consider it.

And while we’re chatting, Leanne, please know that you had a lovely (if monotonous) collection, and that I cried more than you did when you won.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | October 9, 2008 · 2:53 am

buy me a ticket to europe.

Here is what I have been doing for the past few hours: eating my weight in goat cheese, bread, and pizza; watching trashy TV shows like America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway (totally digging Kenley again, by the way); drinking red wine with my girlfriends; and realizing as I do every day that DC is a pretty baller place to live. Randomly, I just ran into my friend Camille and her new gentleman friend on my street corner, which was wonderful and serendipitous, and in a mere three hours my favorite Asian in the world will be arriving on my doorstep like a gift from God. Basically, I’m pretty damn happy right now. 

Here is what I have been doing for the past three weeks: ignoring the Hump Day Cry Face. See, I started to think that people didn’t really care anymore. And maybe most of you are saying, “Um what is the Hump Day Cry Face and why should we care?” And that’s fine. But two of you — Kathleen and my dear friend Jed — truly care about the good ol’ CF, and I cannot just let it go. (It’s like this voicemail message my family has had for over a decade: it’s me singing a little ditty I made up all by myself when I was like twelve, and most of our friends are so over the message and want us to change it, but every so often someone will call and tell us that the voicemail made their day. So we kept it, because making someone’s day every few months is totally worth it. Cry Face is worth it too.) 

Ahem. Without further ado (or babbling), and in honor of Camille, Walsh, and Western Europe…

And yes, in that third photo, we ARE on top of the Eiffel Tower, thank you for asking.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | October 1, 2008 · 8:23 pm

i may not survive until november.

So I have this nightgown. It’s made of flannel. It may or may not be monogrammed. My college roommates may all have the same one. There is a backstory, but whatever, it’s still kind of embarrassing.

Flannel nightgowns are designed to be worn in the following circumstances: when recovering from a hard breakup; when feeling generally overwhelmed by your life and wanting to cry for no reason; when you’re exceptionally hungover; and when Sarah Palin makes you so angry you consider preemptively moving to Switzerland. 

Watch this, and understand what I mean.

Let’s just say I’m wearing my flannel nightgown.

[Posted by Mallory]

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