Category Archives: humor

youtube clip of today: super chameleon!

Sooooo my landlord said I couldn’t have a cat or dog…but he didn’t say anything about chameleons!  HOW DOES IT DO THAT?  (And here is where I answer my own question so that you don’t have to take the time to Google it yourself…click the link)  I also would like to have multiple pairs of Ray-Bans.

Oh and guess what song is stuck in my head now?

Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon
You come and go
You come and go
Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream
Red, gold and green
Red, gold and green…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under animals, blogging, fashion, humor, pop culture, random, weird, YouTube

want to read some funny quotes?

Good, because I felt like looking up a bunch of Jack Handy and Mitch Hedberg quotes that I love:

“If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what He’s getting.” [Jack Handy]

“Sometimes I wave to people I don’t know. It’s very dangerous to wave to someone you don’t know because what if they don’t have a hand? They’ll think you’re cocky. ‘Look what I got motherfucker! This thing is useful. I’m gonna go pick something up!'” [Mitch Hedberg] 

      “The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I’ll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn’t get more meat, I’ll just say, ‘Oh, you mean this?’ and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I’ve hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?” [Jack Handy, way better than David Blaine]

“When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it’s busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say ‘Dufresne, party of two. Dufresne, party of two.’ And if no one answers they’ll say their name again. ‘Dufresne, party of two, Dufresne, party of two.’ But then if no one answers they’ll just go right on to the next name. ‘Bush, party of three.’ Yeah, what happened to the Dufresnes? No one seems to give a shit. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! You fuckers are selfish. The Dufresnes are in someone’s trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they’re hungry. That’s a double whammy. ‘Bush, search party of three, you can eat when you find the Dufresnes.'” [Mitch Hedberg]

Genius.

Also, my officemate and I were just discussing food metaphors that don’t make sense. Like “another bite of the apple,” which, according to her, is very common among lawyer types. Who only takes one bite of an apple? It’s your apple. I don’t care what you do with it; go ahead, take another bite! Then there’s “have your cake and eat it too.” What kind of crazy person wouldn’t eat their own cake? If I have some cake, I’m going to eat that cake, and I am not going to be made to feel guilty about such a thing.

Deep thoughts by Mallory and E. Lee.

[Posted by Mallory]

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hey ladies, it’s national cleavage day!

picture-1Stick ’em out and push ’em up, ladies, because it’s National Cleavage Day 2009!  In South Africa.  Haha.  While we don’t officially celebrate the holiday here in the good old US of A, I’m sure some exceptions can be made if it really resonates with you.

Now I know you are thinking that some pervy dude who still lives in his parent’s basement came up with this holiday so that on the one day he actually stops playing video games and watching porn, he can see some real cleavage.  I mean, that’s what I thought.  In fact, it’s sponsored by Wonderbra and Cosmo and some proceeds from the day are dedicated to a good cause.  You think I’m kidding?  Here is the Web site:

http://www.wonderbra.co.za/nationalcleavageday.aspx

And even more reliable, the Wiki.

Wonderbra’s slogan for the day made me laugh out loud. “Firm supporter of the left and the right”.  Five points to Gryffindor!  Errr…or whichever Hogwarts house the creator of that phrase is in.

So do whatever you need to do to make it happen.  And I think it would be extremely appropriate to pour yourself a nice glass of Cleavage Creek wine

Also, since the girls might be exposed today, you should seriously consider purchasing a Tiddy Bear.  What the hell is that, you ask?  A Tiddy Bear is my newest infomercial obsession.  Observe– A Tiddy Bear:

Can you even live without this?  You need to protect your “shoulder”.

Happy Cleavage Day, y’all!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, fashion, health, humor, news, pop culture, random, sex, YouTube

mwhahaha APRIL FOOLS! gotcha good, clowns!

As the smart ones among you may have realized, Six Words is not dying! We would and could never do such a thing! Where would we get our sense of purpose? Where else could we rant about bikini jeans and leggings as pants and the Republican party?

It’s funny how few people catch on to April Fools jokes. I’m one of them, but I thought I was just a gullible person who rarely knows what day it is. Last year, for instance, I totally fell for Gmail’s Time Machine feature, which claimed to allow you to send emails from the past to cover your ass. I found myself debating the ethics of such a tool, and chalked it up to the genius of the amazing nerds at Google who, frankly, are welcome to take over the world.

With our teensy attempt at an April Fools joke, we got a chance to see who REALLY cares about our blog. We got some great reactions to the initial announcement:

Lynn: no more blog?!! sad day – but please don’t grow up and get a little serious!! 

Rachel: WHY???????

Abbey: Why oh why are you stopping your blog??

Some earnest attempts to change our minds:

Karen: why??

me: i know, i knowww

Karen: no entiendo

me: we just haven’t been good at updating it, you know? we think its time to move on

Karen: what if i bought you giant cheetos?

And some relieved, if angry, after-the-fact responses:

Shannon: you got me.

Susannah: GAH! you totally got me. i unsuscribed in google reader and everything. wtf

Daniel: you guys really scared me

Kelsey: you not funny bitch.

In the end, this little gag made us really appreciate our readers. Not to get all Ram Dass on you, but we’re obviously not trying to make a living off of our blog. We’re just trying to write about, well, whatever we want to write about, and if people enjoy a post here and there, that’s great. When even a handful of people really care enough to get upset about “the death of our website,” as one of my friends put it, then Six Words is more than worth it. We’ll keep writing if you keep reading. No more tomfoolery, we promise.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under blogging, humor, six word memoirs, thoughts

bikini jeans make my soul weep.

These actually render me wordless (which rarely happens), so I’ll just post the pictures.

bikini-jeans1

2_5makethumbWowie.

Wow.

Wow.

PS-  If you want to buy these beauties and just love the idea of a built in sparkly whale’s tail, they’re made by Sanna’s of Brazil and they’re only a hundred bucks!  So sexxxxxxxy.  You’ll for sure be the flyest girl at the club!  Bye bye Banana Republic, hello Sanna’s!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, fashion, humor, news, pop culture, random, sex, thoughts, weird

youtube clip of today: extreme sheepherding.

Extreme sheepherding…is it a sport?  Is this even real!?  I love this sort of tomfoolery!  Happy Monday, work force!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under animals, blogging, crushes, dance, humor, pop culture, random, sports, weird, YouTube

things that i love: ellen degeneres.

“I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that.”

–From My Point…And I Do Have One

I think I need to buy that book.

[Posted by Mallory]

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youtube clip of the day: airplane rap.

This is why I love Southwest!  Okay, is it just me, or would this be even better with the Fresh Prince music playing in the back?

My grandmother is actually the cutest person in the world and LOVES to watch the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air on Nick at Night before she goes to bed.  She’ll inform us that she is watching “The Prince” and then retires to her room.  Haha.  Though recently she’s developed an addiction to Keith and Rachel, which conflicts with “The Prince”.  Such is life.

And now that the Fresh Prince theme song is stuck in your head for the next week, I should just help you out/make it worse:

Happy Tuesday!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, celebrities, crushes, definitely not politics, humor, music, pop culture, random, thoughts, TV, weird, YouTube

joe the plumber says he’s “horny”.

As much as I hate to contribute to it by writing about it, I’m always interested when Joe the Plumber manages to extend his 15 minutes of fame– even if only for a millisecond.  How on earth does he do it?!  Well this new JTP blip on the media screen is fairly hilarious.  Thank you WashPo’s The Sleuth for the important news!  Joe recently spoke at the Media Research Center’s “DisHonors Awards”.  I know you’re DYING to know what that is; it sounds gripping!  Apparently all the people who hate democracy get in one room to slam the liberal media.  Doesn’t that sound fun?  Umm…boooooooring.  So good old Joe the Plumber/Journalist gets up there to accept some bogus award about really sticking it to the socialists.  Naturally, the neocons are clapping for this pure paradigm.  He eloquently expresses his humble appreciation:

“God, all this love and everything in the room – I’m horny,” declared Joe, whose real name is Samuel Wurzelbacher.

And cue the chirping crickets.  Rawr?

When you get that special feeling, Joe, you should just go on home, slip into something more comfortable (but really, is there anything more comfortable than the JTP flannel shirt?  I don’t think so!), light some cheap smelling candles, pour yourself a fine glass of boxed wine and run a nice bubbly wubbly bubble bath for yourself.  But for the love of all things holy and sacred, DO NOT tell your sexually oppressed conservative friends how you feel!

I was going to go off on a HUGE multiple-paragraph tangent about the so-called liberal media but I’m going to keep this as short as possible…aka one paragraph.  Guess what, folks?  The liberal media smear is spin concocted to protect the Bush Administration and its followers from the press.  By turning the American people against the press, the news stories– which contained the truth — were seen as biased and became irrelevant.  But reporting on the horrors of war and unveiling the lies of the government is not liberal bias, it’s the job of the press.  Take Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann out of the equation now, please, because they have equal and opposite forces named O’Reilly and Hannity.  We’re talking about the journalists whose names you do not know.  There is an unspoken vow among journalists to bring the truth to the people– a sort of Hippocratic Oath, if you will.  Challenging and questioning a president, Congress, the government, or taking on the rest of the media?  That is their function in society.  If the media were so liberal, we would have had a Democratic president years ago.  Trust me.  I’m appalled that the liberal media excuse and tactic is still being used and people are still buying it.  (McCain lost.  Sarah Palin sucked.  Get over it.  It was their fault.)  Now that Obama is president, the press will do its job to report everything that goes on.  In fact, Obama seems to be losing the media fight when it comes to selling his economic plan, is he not?  Not so liberal afterall…And I’m spent!

Now back to the important stuff.  A most appropriate music video in honor of JTP:

And one last uber-serious thought:  Has Akon ever sang about something other than sexytime?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, celebrities, humor, news, politics, pop culture, random, sex, the hill, thoughts, Uncategorized, YouTube

one of the greatest observations…ever.

I’ve started to read this blog called NonSociety, which my friend Colleen alerted me to because one of the bloggers went to her high school. I’ve added it to the list of blogs I regularly check, mostly because it’s pretty light and airy in an addictive way, with some serious and wise thrown in. The three girls who started the blog, Julia, Mary, and Meghan, have done REALLY well for themselves, and they’ve earned a lot of haters on the way. (I’ve always, er, hated the word haters, but in the world of blogging and mean comments I really can’t think of a better word.) So another big reason that I read NonSociety is because I believe they deserve some serious good vibes. I get worked up when one rando from Europe insults me in a comment (not that I’m still bitter), so it’s hard for me to imagine dealing with being called things like the number one worst thing about the Internet, as Julia recently was. (And seriously, bitch went to Georgetown and seems really nice. LEAVE HER ALONE HATERS.)

This is all a long-winded way of saying that I found something really great on NonSociety today, which was a quote from and a link to another lovely lady video blogger named Brigitte Dale. Take a look:

“Dancing is about moving the attractive bits of your body in a way that will take attention away from the unattractive bits.”

How much do you love that? And as Brigitte points out in the video, it kind of applies to everything. Think about it.

Speaking of Paul Rudd, you should probably watch all of these.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under blogging, dance, humor, pop culture, thoughts