Aaaand all of this is actually painful to read.
I’m going to sedate myself with an issue of Real Simple and go to sleep.
[Posted by Mallory]
Tag Archives: sarah palin
she moves in her own way.
I don’t have a lot to write about right now, because the only things going on in the world are the Second Great Depression and Sarah Palin. I don’t understand the economy, and I’m sick of talking about Palin, so I’ve got nothing. And I mean, Kathleen already stole the best story of the day.
But I want to post SOMETHING so let’s all listen to my new favorite song, “She Moves In Her Own Way,” by The Kooks. Those of you who know me: picture the song as if it’s about me. Picture me dancing to it, moving in MY own way. Which is to say, extremely awkwardly. Now didn’t that bring a smile to your face?
Also, isn’t the title a great six word memoir? Quick, somebody claim it and make it their own!
[Posted by Mallory]
what would palin have named you?
Instead of doing something productive, I’m reading Wonkette and G-Chatting, but it’s okay because I discovered something wonderful. If you go to this site, you can type in your name and find out what your name would be if you were unfortunate enough to be Sarah Palin’s child. Obviously it’s just randomly generated names, but I still think it’s fun.
Mine was a sort of boring Turbine Yukon Palin. I think I’d go by Turby. If I throw in my last name, I’m told I’d be called Skein Chug Palin, which is way more fun.
Kathleen’s is amazing: Mullet Troll Palin. Ha!
Other fun ones…
George Bush: Open Aircraft Palin. I like it.
Barack Obama: Tarp Lazer Palin. I once knew a girl named Rezal, and she used to explain that her name was just like Lazer, except backwards.
My roommate: Froth Moonshine Palin. Appropriate.
Ghandi: Luger Otter Palin. Yeah, I prefer Ghandi.
And if Sarah Palin had gotten to name herself, she’d be Flack Gobbler Palin. Too bad she didn’t get to name herself, because if that had been the case she totally wouldn’t have been McCain’s VP candidate. John and Flack just doesn’t have a presidential ring to it.
Okay now maybe I’ll do some work. Have fun.
[Posted by Mallory]
tina fey is palin on snl!
The woman who made wearing glasses sexy is back. Tina Fey, I love you. And now she is back on SNL as highly under-qualified Alaska Governor Sarah Palin–and she’s great at it. Even the obnoxious accent is right. Enjoy.
Vodpod videos no longer available.[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under celebrities, humor, politics, pop culture, random, TV, Uncategorized, YouTube
we are having nightmares too, eve.
Against my will, I seem to be addicted to talking about Sarah Palin. I will try to stop talking about her after this, but I’m not hopeful that I’ll succeed because I’ve rarely been as riled up about politics as I am right now. My aunt, whom I’ve never known to be particularly political, just sent me an email from one of her friends that included an Eve Ensler article posted on The Huffington Post a few days ago. I don’t know about you, but if Eve Ensler has something to say about a prominent female political candidate, I listen. I really want more people to read this article, so as strange as it seems I’m just posting the whole thing. Enjoy, and please do think about what Ensler has to say:
I am having Sarah Palin nightmares. I dreamt last night that she was a member of a club where they rode snowmobiles and wore the claws of drowned and starved polar bears around their necks. I have a particular thing for Polar Bears. Maybe it’s their snowy whiteness or their bigness or the fact that they live in the arctic or that I have never seen one in person or touched one. Maybe it is the fact that they live so comfortably on ice. Whatever it is, I need the polar bears.
I don’t like raging at women. I am a Feminist and have spent my life trying to build community, help empower women and stop violence against them. It is hard to write about Sarah Palin. This is why the Sarah Palin choice was all the more insidious and cynical. The people who made this choice count on the goodness and solidarity of Feminists.
But everything Sarah Palin believes in and practices is antithetical to Feminism which for me is part of one story — connected to saving the earth, ending racism, empowering women, giving young girls options, opening our minds, deepening tolerance, and ending violence and war.
I believe that the McCain/Palin ticket is one of the most dangerous choices of my lifetime, and should this country chose those candidates the fall-out may be so great, the destruction so vast in so many areas that America may never recover. But what is equally disturbing is the impact that duo would have on the rest of the world. Unfortunately, this is not a joke. In my lifetime I have seen the clownish, the inept, the bizarre be elected to the presidency with regularity.
Sarah Palin does not believe in evolution. I take this as a metaphor. In her world and the world of Fundamentalists nothing changes or gets better or evolves. She does not believe in global warming. The melting of the arctic, the storms that are destroying our cities, the pollution and rise of cancers, are all part of God’s plan. She is fighting to take the polar bears off the endangered species list. The earth, in Palin’s view, is here to be taken and plundered. The wolves and the bears are here to be shot and plundered. The oil is here to be taken and plundered. Iraq is here to be taken and plundered. As she said herself of the Iraqi war, “It was a task from God.”
Sarah Palin does not believe in abortion. She does not believe women who are raped and incested and ripped open against their will should have a right to determine whether they have their rapist’s baby or not.
She obviously does not believe in sex education or birth control. I imagine her daughter was practicing abstinence and we know how many babies that makes.
Sarah Palin does not much believe in thinking. From what I gather she has tried to ban books from the library, has a tendency to dispense with people who think independently. She cannot tolerate an environment of ambiguity and difference. This is a woman who could and might very well be the next president of the United States. She would govern one of the most diverse populations on the earth.
Sarah believes in guns. She has her own custom Austrian hunting rifle. She has been known to kill 40 caribou at a clip. She has shot hundreds of wolves from the air.
Sarah believes in God. That is of course her right, her private right. But when God and Guns come together in the public sector, when war is declared in God’s name, when the rights of women are denied in his name, that is the end of separation of church and state and the undoing of everything America has ever tried to be.
I write to my sisters. I write because I believe we hold this election in our hands. This vote is a vote that will determine the future not just of the U.S., but of the planet. It will determine whether we create policies to save the earth or make it forever uninhabitable for humans. It will determine whether we move towards dialogue and diplomacy in the world or whether we escalate violence through invasion, undermining and attack. It will determine whether we go for oil, strip mining, coal burning or invest our money in alternatives that will free us from dependency and destruction. It will determine if money gets spent on education and healthcare or whether we build more and more methods of killing. It will determine whether America is a free open tolerant society or a closed place of fear, fundamentalism and aggression.
If the Polar Bears don’t move you to go and do everything in your power to get Obama elected then consider the chant that filled the hall after Palin spoke at the RNC, “Drill Drill Drill.” I think of teeth when I think of drills. I think of rape. I think of destruction. I think of domination. I think of military exercises that force mindless repetition, emptying the brain of analysis, doubt, ambiguity or dissent. I think of pain.
Do we want a future of drilling? More holes in the ozone, in the floor of the sea, more holes in our thinking, in the trust between nations and peoples, more holes in the fabric of this precious thing we call life?
[Posted by Mallory]
just keep digging, palin. keeeep digging.
SIgh. I know I said I’m sick of thinking/talking/hearing about Sarah Palin, but I simply MUST share this video with the world. As you watch, keep in mind that if McCain is elected, this woman will be one cancerous mole away from being OUR PRESIDENT:
HOW CAN YOU WATCH THAT AND STILL SUPPORT MCCAIN/PALIN?! I mean McCain himself has to be embarrassed. This woman isn’t even intelligent or articulate, let alone fit to be the Vice President of the United States. On a lighter note, Charlie Gibson is my new boyfriend.
[Posted by Mallory]
great site: women against sarah palin.
For me, the past few days have been filled with emo talks, some actual grad school work, and continuing discussion of how much Sarah Palin sucks. I’m beginning to truly loathe the woman, and the fact that she is the only thing anyone is talking about is making me crazy. The editorials are really no longer necessary; everyone with half a brain knows that she is an awful, awful, awful VP choice. Still, I found an anti-Palin site that is worthwhile. It’s called Women Against Sarah Palin (EVERYTIME I try to type her name I type Sarah Plain first. Ha.) and it’s a collection of intelligent and articulate thoughts from women across the country who do not support Palin. Here’s their byline:
On Wednesday, September 3, we sent out an email to 40 friends and colleagues asking them to respond to Sarah Palin’s candidacy as Vice President of the United States. They forwarded the letter to their friends across America. To date, we have received more than 70,000 responses from women of all ages and backgrounds. Below are their voices.
Impressive, right? Here are some of the most provocative responses:
One fine Friday in June 1952, the woman living in the apartment next door to ours left her 2-year-old daughter with a babysitter to have an (illegal, of course) abortion. She came home later that afternoon weak and pale. She developed an infection and did not survive the weekend. I have never forgotten it. Nor has her daughter. Sarah Palin, NO NO NO.
– Marilyn F., 60, Fairfax, VA
I am a lifelong Alaskan. I have been opposed to Palin since she first emerged as a political force in Alaska. I don’t believe her, I don’t trust her and it would be devastating for the entire country to suffer the harm she has already inflicted on Wasilla and Alaska. I’m terrified how our country values how one plays to the media rather than true intelligence and values.
– Mary S., AK
This evening I was out at a restaurant having dinner. Two gentlemen who work on Wall Street sat next to me and started a conversation. They cracked several jokes in reference to Sarah Palin and hunting moose. I questioned them on their meaning of these jokes. Basically, they are both McCain supporters and their main concerns are taxes and staying in Iraq for the oil (no matter that many men and women are losing their limbs, brains and lives over it). They think Sarah Palin is a joke and as one stated “yeah, the women are just eating her up – ha, ha”. I raised the question of “what if McCain dies,” and one of them answered, “that would be scary”. So there is the disrespect – that even men in the Republican party think she’s a joke and just a means to gaining the women’s vote. It’s obvious that she is not qualified and is just a pawn for McCain to win some votes.
– Kathleen D., 48, New York, NY
Take a look at the site, and submit your own response. It feels good to channel your anger into a productive grassroots cause.
Also, take a look at this site, which was online in 2007, well before Palin was selected as McCain’s VP. (Thanks to reader Karly for the tip!)
[Posted by Mallory]
i’d choose barbie over sarah palin.
Oh wooohoooo. Now you can buy a Superhero Sarah Palin doll. Umm, that’s great. Since this election is no longer about issues and rather that Palin is a Vagina-American and is hot in the Tina Fey way, let’s be superficial for a minute. Who wants a supposedly feminine doll with G.I. Joe man thighs? Come on guys, Barbie’s got better legs for sure.
See?
Intimidated by the Thunder Thighs Palin doll? (Yeah, me too) Try this one–naughty school girl Sarah Palin.
Yet again, I’d choose Barbie. Or better yet, the one responsible for bringing back the naughty school girl image–the one and only, Britney Spears doll.
Yup, she’s better than Palin too.
Here is the final Sarah Palin doll the company, http://www.herobulder.com, offers. Vice Presidential Sarah Palin:
Well, Barbie one-upped Sarah Palin in two ways here. First, Barbie is running for Prez and second, Barbie looks FABULOUS.
That was fun, but let’s take it back to the issues. I bet Barbie would stand up for the rights of women more than Palin. I bet Barbie would support birth control and a woman’s privacy, I bet Barbie wouldn’t make women pay for their own rape kits, I bet Barbie wouldn’t make Skipper have the baby even if she was raped, I bet Barbie wouldn’t be on a ticket with Ken if he didn’t support equal pay for women…okay…you get my point.
Really, I’d take Barbie over Sarah Palin.
Oh, and one more thing. These dolls are on sale.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under humor, politics, pop culture, random, Uncategorized
delightfully hypocritical video for your weekend.
Courtesy of our AC, our New England correspondent, please check out this wonderful clip from The Daily Show. Jon Stewart 2016!
[Posted by Mallory]
liveblogging john “walnuts” mccain’s acceptance speech.
Since Kathleen is off doing actually important things, you’re stuck with me for liveblogging. You can expect me to have an extremely unsophisticated analysis. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
10:00 — Football is still on. NBC doesn’t care about the Republicans.
10:01 — Ah, there we go. Shot of Palin and Cindy. They’re both wearing shiny suits. Today I had several anxiety attacks thinking about what would happen if John McCain was elected president and then died.
10:05 — Here we go with the video. Ha ha he’s a momma’s boy.
10:06 — Everyone is John McCain’s family was in a war. Had you heard that McCain fought in Vietnam? And he almost died? But he was DESTINED TO BE PRESIDENT. Oh also, he was tortured.
10:07 — Okay, sure, John McCain was once sort of attractive. He spent years in HELL…nice dramatic rhetoric, there.
10:09 — Cindy really does look like an alien. Ha, he’s not in this to support any political party…then why didn’t he act like a real maverick and pick Lieberman?
10:10 — Pictures of babies and old women. He has seven children? I did not know that. Oh wait, I do remember that blonde girl who writes the terrible blog.
10:11 — “The stars are aligned…”? Really? He’s stealing Barry’s “change” word.
10:11 — Wait, did they MENTION that McCain was tortured? In Vietnam? He lived in a BOX, PEOPLE. Ha ha, box. He will keep other people from enduring that box. Sexist!
10:13 — Here he comes. They set aside seven minutes for applause. Hmm. He is wearing a gold tie, which means he hates America.
10:14 — It’s sort of sad that Barry filled Invesco and what ever small St. Paul place this speech is in isn’t even full.
10:14 — Weird, someone in the crowd has a disposable camera.
10:15 — Ha, three minutes and he’s already talking. GREEN SCREEN ALERT. Or wait, is that a lawn?
10:16 — “USA! USA! USA!”
10:16 — Surprise surprise, he accepts the nomination.
10:16 — Reference to Bush, but he quickly ties it to 9/11. Good save, Johnny.
10:17 — His signs so aren’t as cool as Barry’s.
10:18 — “I’m indebted to my robot wife Cindy, whom I selected once my other wife got crippled.”
10:18 — Cindy ALMOST looks like she might cry. She has really thin lips.
10:19 — McCain’s mom is sort of adorable. I like her big blue earrings.
10:21 — Says some nice things about Barry. Can they PLEASE stop chanting USA?
10:22 — McCain holds his shoulders awkwardly as he promises to win the election.
10:23 — AH A CRAZY WOMAN JUST RUSHED THE STAGE! No one knows what to do! This is amazing! Wait is that a Code Pinker? McCain calms them down with his creepy laugh. I think there are two crazy women. One in a suit, one in a weird pink satin shirt with writing on it. Hmm.
10:24 — He seems to be annoyed that they keep chanting “USA.” He could use some Crest White Strips. They’re only like $17 now.
10:25 — Everyone loves Sarah Palin. Did he just pronounce her name wrong?
10:25 — “I want to thank everyone in American for ignoring Sarah’s lack of experience and instead focusing on the fact that she’s sort of hot.”
10:26 — Shot of the Palin kids. Ah, there’s Bristol. Where’s hot hot baby daddy Levi?
10:27 — He can’t wait to introduce Palin to Washington because SHE’S BASICALLY NEVER BEEN THERE BEFORE.
10:27 — “Change is coming.” Seriously dude, that’s basically plagarism.
10:29 — “Heh heh. Did I mention I’ve been called a maverick?” Ha, someone’s McCain-Palin sign is upside-down.
10:31 — I still get email updates about concerts coming to Denver, and I get really angry when there are good people coming when I’m not there. Anyone want to fly me out to Denver on October 16 to see Conor Oberst?
10:32 — THE Georgetown bar is “hoppin,” according to my roommate. I wish I was liveblogging this from a bar.
10:33 — Okay, so he talked about Iraq for a while, but so far this speech seems kind of fluffy.
10:33 — Ooh here come the personal sob stories. Aw, a dad is crying.
10:34 — McCain wears a bracelet of a young man who died in Iraq. The kid’s parents look so sad.
10:36 — He promises to get back to basics. Shot of a kid with a phallic elephant hat on his head.
10:36 — American Dream rhetoric. “We’re all God’s children, and we’re all Americans.”
10:37 — Rattles off the romantic reasons that people like my dad are Republicans. Too bad that’s quite far from reality.
10:38 — He’ll give us a government that doesn’t make our choices for us, but rather lets us make more choices for ourselves. They’re booing Obama. WATCH IT PEOPLE WE LOVE BARRY.
10:39 — I wonder who all those people in the straw hats are.
10:41 — Do I want to go watch this speech at my roommate’s boyfriend’s house and eat ice cream? Hmmm.
10:42 — “Something related to education is the civil rights movement of this century.” Interesting analogy. I might have said that the GLBT movement is the most important civil rights issue right now. Not that education’s not important, but you know…
10:44 — People are yawning. I am too.
10:45 — Did Palin get new glasses?
10:45 — “We will drill off-shore and we will drill NOW!” Someone is holding up an “Environmentalists for McCain” sign. Really? Did they notice that Palin doesn’t believe humans are responsible for global warming?
10:46 — Stop making fun of Barry; we all know off-shore drilling isn’t a long-term option.
10:47 — “We must see the threats to peace and liberty in our time clearly.” True, let’s do that.
10:48 — “Iran is evil. So is Russia.” But I don’t understand…I have a REALLY adorable teacher from Iran. He wears bow ties.
10:49 — “I’m not afraid; I’m prepared. I know how the military works…yada yada.”
10:50 — My roommate just left. She took the ice cream. Now I’m bored and lonely again with no one but McCain to keep me company.
10:51 — Okay, he spoke sort of eloquently there about war and peace and keeping us safe.
10:52 — I don’t think I’m very good at liveblogging. I’m exceptionally bored and don’t have anything insightful to say. I wish I had something delicious to snack on. Let’s see what Wonkette just liveblogged: “He’s like, I will not send Young People To Die for no good reason. And yet… just… and yet.” Dear Wonkette, I love you.
10:53 — “I WAS IN A WAR, REMEMBER? THAT BLACK GUY WASN’T.”
10:54 — Girl with yellow eyeshadow cries.
10:55 — Ooh valuable life lesson time. Oh, shocker, it’s about how he was in the war. “Vietnam Vietnam…torture torture torture…I was a maverick…I was shot down…and remember, I was tortured!!!” Two other soldiers he was with took care of him and saved his life. That does make me feel sort of warm and fuzzy inside.
11:02 — “We’ve gotta fight for our right to party.” Okay he didn’t really say that. Now he’s talking like a robot through the cheers of the crowd. Ha, they, they worked in a shot of a guy wearing a yarmulke and a black woman right at the end. Republicans are so diverse!
11:05 — Phew, it’s over. What is that music at the end? Oh, it’s really bad, tacky country music, that’s what.
11:07 — The balloons just dropped, awkwardly late. What is this, THE PROM?! (Zing!)
Okay I’m finished with this. Hopefully Kathleen will be back tomorrow with some legitimate commentary.
[Posted by Mallory]
six words to change the world. 