Author Archives: K

some humor for your hump day.

Okay, okay.  So it’s no Hump Day Cry Face.  But this video should make you feel a leeeeeeetle better.

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It gets better each time.  I love the “Oh God. NO NO NO!”  Thanks, Collegehumor.com.  Even though I’m no longer in college, my humor has not matured.

If that video didn’t help you out and you’re still Cranky McCrankster, have no fear.  Just tell people that you are participating in National Grouch Day.  Which, according to Sesame Street Magazine, today is.

“A Grouch’s mission in life is to be as miserable and grouchy as possible, and pass that feeling on to everyone else. Only then will a Grouch feel in touch with his or her world and be happy.”

This post is done, OKAY?  GO AWAY.  NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.

I jest.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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talk to your parents about mccain.

Get it?  It’s like an anti-drug commercial?  Teehee.

And my obsession with Blake Lively thrives.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: monkey waiters.

Monkey, beer me strength.

Daddy, I want one.

Oh and how great is the Brit commentary?  I LOVE the sarcasm.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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kristina and karissa…the new olsens?

Move on over Mary-Kate and Ashley…there are new twins in town and they’re really…orange.  And they want to be Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends.  Yes, girlfriends is plural. Errr…weird?

Tragically, Hef’s relationship with primary gf Holly Madison is over.  She wanted marriage and babies, but he lacked the sperm count.  I’m not making that up.  He is, after all, older than John McCain.  He’s 82. Wowie.

So, obviously heartbroken that Holly has moved on to more fertile pastures, Hef has been babysitting hanging out with the 19-year-old twins.  I mean, maybe he just wants to be a grandfatherly figure in their lives?  No.  How does he feel about them?  Does he, ya know, like LIKE them? Like passing-notes-check-yes-or-no like them?

“They very much want to be girlfriends and now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends.”

Ahh, true love.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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mccain sneers “that one”, misquotes TR.

Man, that was boring.  Awkward and uncomfortable jokes by McCain all went flat.  Insulting Tom Brokaw, jokes about hair plugs and balding (was that a swipe at Joe?).  The zingers were mediocre.  Then John McCain has the audacity to call B “that one”. OH NO HE DIDN’T.  I’m sorry, but I prefer audacity to come in the form beautifully bound hardcover book called “The Audacity of Hope”.  Ahem.  Here is the video:

What did he mean by “that one”?  What a demeaning term.  On top of flawed policies and rampant lies, John McCain lacks the manners and professionalism required to be the President of the United States.  Just picture him at the table with leaders from around the world.  Is he going to call someone he disagrees with “that one”?  Or perhaps he’d like to use another one of his favorite words, cunt.  He makes me so mad.

And he messed up a TR quote.  Again, OH NO HE DIDN’T.

“My hero is a guy named Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy Roosevelt used to say walk softly, talk softly, but carry a big stick. Senator Obama likes to talk loudly.”

Ugh.  Get it straight.

And for the love of all things good and pure in this world, Johnny, please stop calling me your friend. I am NOT your friend.  I wouldn’t even be your Facebook friend.

The majority of pundits and polls show that Obama won this debate.  I agree.  He holds the American agenda, and I will be so proud to call him our president.

Also, this is totally unrelated to the debate, but I find it to be an important fact since the candidates’ personalities seem to be on a pedestal in this election. Today, while Joe Biden was at the funeral of his mother-in-law, Sarah Palin was criticizing him on the campaign trail.  She’s a jerk.

Twenty-seven days until this election is ovvvvvah.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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some introspective music for autumn days.

This song is one of the main reasons why I wuv The Shins.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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blog: yes we can (hold babies)

Say it ain’t so Joe, here I go again blogging about other people’s blogs.  (Hardy har har)  As if Saint Barack could not get any more perfect, now you can look at sickeningly adorable pictures of him with non-voters.  That means babies and other mini humans.  Yes, you can.  Yes, you want to.  Yes we can (hold babies).  Love love love.

Make this man president. DO IT.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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bird pulls a “gotcha” on reporter.

Evil Sarah Palin commanded her one of her bird minions to drop some shiz in the mouth of a liberal “gotcha” mainstream media reporter.  Hilarity ensues.

Sarah and her birdie friend:

If I can make a Disney reference, I’m going to…alright?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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listen up dudes: coca-cola kills sperm.

No, this is not something I overheard at a table of 8th graders. (Do I even know any 8th graders?)  This is legitimate, scientific fact.  Deborah Anderson of Boston University Medical Center and her colleagues discovered that Coca-Cola makes the defenseless little spermies explode.  Seriously.

In honor of their epic discovery, Anderson and her colleagues were awarded an Ig Nobel prize.  Not to be confused with the Nobel prize, the Ig Nobel prizes reward research with some snark and humor.  So naturally, SWTCTW is impressed.

Because the Reuters news story describes some of the other winners better, here are the best parts:

The Ig Nobel committee made up a “nutrition prize” to go to Massimiliano Zampini of the University of Trento, Italy and Charles Spence of Britain’s Oxford University, who tricked people into thinking they were eating fresh potato chips by playing them loud, crunching sounds when they bit one.

The biology prize goes to a French team that found dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas, while the medicine prize was awarded to a team at Duke University in North Carolina who showed that high-priced placebos work better than cheap fake medicine.

Dorian Raymer of the Scripps Institution in San Diego and a colleague won the physics prize for demonstrating mathematically why hair or a ball of string will inevitably tangle itself in knots.

How smart do you feel, knowing that dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas?  I’m feeling good.  I also learned from this year’s economics winner that professional lap dancers make more when they’re most fertile.  So ladies, take note.  More useless knowledge that people spent lots of money on to study:

Past winners include the creator of the plastic pink flamingo, a researcher who recorded a mallard duck sodomizing a dead drake and a doctor who cured hiccups by applying digital rectal massage.

Haha.

I guarantee you that when the big time Nobel prizes are announced, they won’t be nearly as entertaining as the Ig Nobels.

And guys, Coca-Cola has been proven ineffectual as a method of birth control.  Don’t get any weird ideas.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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palin and biden, according to snl.

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Tina Fey strikes again.  Happy Sunday.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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