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surgery means like daughter, like mother.

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The tree didn’t fall far from the apple.  Like daughter, like mother.  Obviously these are backwards, but they kind of make sense for Janet and Jane Cunliffe.  Janet, the mother (and the one on the left), wanted so much to look like her daughter, that she spent about 15,000 bucks to do so.

The best thing to do with this story is to give you the quotes from the story, which appeared in one of the UK’s prestigious beacons of journalism, The Daily Mail.

‘It might sound barmy that I had cosmetic surgery to look like my daughter, but she’s gorgeous. Who wouldn’t want to look like her?

‘The way I see it is that she got her looks from me in the first place – mine have just faded with age.

‘Seeing how attractive Jane is made me want to get my looks back. Now instead of mum and daughter we look more like twins. I had good genes and good skin, but I needed a helping hand to make me feel better about myself.’

Barmy indeed, Janet.  That’s a pretty expensive helping hand, wouldn’t you say?  Here’s something else that sort of got my attention.  The way she talks, you’d think she just got new boobies and a face lift or something.  Well, I know you’ve been dying to see what her “before” picture looks like.  FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS!

FIERCE!

FIERCE!

Janet’s first foray into plastic surgery was her boobs.  Apparently her husband was not too impressed, and with words worthy of a Pulitzer, The Daily Mail states:

Alas, the new breasts weren’t enough to save her marriage.

Brilliant writing!

So Janet and her husband divorce.  Janet moves to Spain with a lover.  Janet and her lover call it quits, so she has nowhere to go.  She moves in with her daughter, Jane.  She began to party with Jane and Jane’s friends.  The saggy saga continues.

‘Jane and her friends are so glamourous and gorgeous that I stood out like a sore thumb. I felt like an old bag,’ she says. ‘Jane told me not to be so self-critical, but I knew it was true.’

Jane didn’t say it was false…

‘I envied Jane’s crinkle-free eyes, full lips and luscious, long blonde hair,’ says Janet. ‘I was desperate to look more like my daughter, but knew no wrinkle creams could ever wind back the clock that far.’

Janet just had to do something!

‘I had some savings and knew if I wanted to look more like Jane then I’d have to get my eyes done first, and my nose.’

So now, when Janet and Jane go out, people think they look like sisters… or twins.  But I’d say those who call them twins have been drinking too much. Bleached hair and big boobs does not necessarily mean that they are twins.

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Another cute pic of the girls (notice that Jane is wearing the same outfit that Janet is wearing in the picture above!):

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And I’m speechless.

Apparently Jane doesn’t care and thinks her mom looks better than Madonna, but I’m not so sure.  I mean, how would you feel?  Sure, people get plastic surgery– that doesn’t bother me.  If that’s what they need to do to feel better, then alright.  But I think it’s a little bizarre that a mother would get plastic surgery to look like her daughter.  It just seems…odd.  Am I wrong here?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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thank you and that’s all, folks.

We, your most esteemed and favorite bloggers, had a really long discussion last night and we’ve come to a decision that was hard to make– but we hope you understand.  We’re going to be shutting down SWTCTW as of today.  This is our last post.  In our history, we’ve posted over 500 times and had over 300,000 blog hits.  Why oh why would we do something like shut the blog down? (I’m sure you’re asking.)  Well, the truth hurts.  At some point in your life you just need to grow up and get a little serious.

Thank you so much for reading, it’s been an honor to write for you.

Love,  Kathleen and Mallory

[Posted by Kathleen and Mallory]

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joe the plumber says he’s “horny”.

As much as I hate to contribute to it by writing about it, I’m always interested when Joe the Plumber manages to extend his 15 minutes of fame– even if only for a millisecond.  How on earth does he do it?!  Well this new JTP blip on the media screen is fairly hilarious.  Thank you WashPo’s The Sleuth for the important news!  Joe recently spoke at the Media Research Center’s “DisHonors Awards”.  I know you’re DYING to know what that is; it sounds gripping!  Apparently all the people who hate democracy get in one room to slam the liberal media.  Doesn’t that sound fun?  Umm…boooooooring.  So good old Joe the Plumber/Journalist gets up there to accept some bogus award about really sticking it to the socialists.  Naturally, the neocons are clapping for this pure paradigm.  He eloquently expresses his humble appreciation:

“God, all this love and everything in the room – I’m horny,” declared Joe, whose real name is Samuel Wurzelbacher.

And cue the chirping crickets.  Rawr?

When you get that special feeling, Joe, you should just go on home, slip into something more comfortable (but really, is there anything more comfortable than the JTP flannel shirt?  I don’t think so!), light some cheap smelling candles, pour yourself a fine glass of boxed wine and run a nice bubbly wubbly bubble bath for yourself.  But for the love of all things holy and sacred, DO NOT tell your sexually oppressed conservative friends how you feel!

I was going to go off on a HUGE multiple-paragraph tangent about the so-called liberal media but I’m going to keep this as short as possible…aka one paragraph.  Guess what, folks?  The liberal media smear is spin concocted to protect the Bush Administration and its followers from the press.  By turning the American people against the press, the news stories– which contained the truth — were seen as biased and became irrelevant.  But reporting on the horrors of war and unveiling the lies of the government is not liberal bias, it’s the job of the press.  Take Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann out of the equation now, please, because they have equal and opposite forces named O’Reilly and Hannity.  We’re talking about the journalists whose names you do not know.  There is an unspoken vow among journalists to bring the truth to the people– a sort of Hippocratic Oath, if you will.  Challenging and questioning a president, Congress, the government, or taking on the rest of the media?  That is their function in society.  If the media were so liberal, we would have had a Democratic president years ago.  Trust me.  I’m appalled that the liberal media excuse and tactic is still being used and people are still buying it.  (McCain lost.  Sarah Palin sucked.  Get over it.  It was their fault.)  Now that Obama is president, the press will do its job to report everything that goes on.  In fact, Obama seems to be losing the media fight when it comes to selling his economic plan, is he not?  Not so liberal afterall…And I’m spent!

Now back to the important stuff.  A most appropriate music video in honor of JTP:

And one last uber-serious thought:  Has Akon ever sang about something other than sexytime?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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the best show mtv never made.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

AHHH LOVE IT.  Snaps to Newsweek for being so freaking clever.  And who is the B impersonator?  He’s a Barackstar.  (Sorry, had to say it.)

[Posted by Kathleen]

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i voted for a republican today.

Having been accused of only seeing things as a Democrat, I’d just like to announce that I transcended party lines today (take THAT, Mike.) and voted for a Republican.  This was a very serious and thoughtful vote that I took, and I stand by my decision.  I voted for Republican Congressman Aaron Schock as the hottest Congressional Freshman.

The choices?

Glenn Nye of Virginia, Aaron Schock of Illinois, Jim Himes of Connecticut, Tom Perriello of Virginia, and Jared Polis of Colorado.  Nye has solid good looks, and Himes is pretty foxy.  But Aaron Schock? RAWR.  Very, very…pretty.

See?

And he’s only 27.  True story, he’s the first member of Congress to be born in the 80s.  Thanks, Huffpo, for the factoid.

Vote for yourselves!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/29/whos-the-hottest-congress_n_162076.html

[Posted by Kathleen]

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a celebration of the final week.

Yes kids, it’s the last full week of George Bush’s presidency.  Let’s celebrate!  A big thank you to 23/6 for putting this little video together for us.  LOVE the background music.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Don’t go getting all nostalgic on me now!  Dry your eyes!
[Posted by Kathleen]

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porn industry needs some economic viagra!

Ladies and Gentleman, in case you haven’t heard, we are in a serious economic crisis.  The banks are in trouble, the auto industry is in trouble, the sky is falling, and the once throbbing porn industry is now flaccid.  Hardy har har.

All joking aside (but not really), the porn industry has gone limp.  Now, its two top bananas (good title for a porn king, right?) are going to ask the Congress for a porn pullout put out bailout of $5 billion.  I am not making this up.  FIVE. BILLION. DOLLARS.  A sort of economic viagra, if you will.

Larry Flynt, grandpoohbah of porn and free speech, and Joe Francis, the creepy life ruiner that started Girls Gone Wild, will be going to Washington to petition Congress.  How cute!  Go ahead, laugh.  (Quotes from TMZ, the most trustworthy source of news EVER.)

Francis sees his industry like the big three automakers, only BIGGER: “Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses; we feel we deserve the same consideration.”

Seems to me that Francis is one of those guys that lies about size.  Size of the porn industry, you sickos.  Get your heads out of the gutter!

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind,” Flynt says. “It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America.”

Two things, Larry. Even though the economy is in shambles, people aren’t denying biology.  Secondly, and you can ask any 13 year old boy this, but it’s called the internet.  (Al Gore invented it.)  And usually, it’s free!  THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU DESERVE A BAILOUT.  What it means is that the times, they are a changin’.  You know, get hip, Larry!  Way back, I wrote a post about how people were excited for the new iPhone because it was apparently better for porn.  Gross, I know.  But the post is now the most viewed one every day.  People post links to free sites.  I am shocked and appalled that this sinning happens at our blog, but whatev.

Anyway, this porn bailout plot line is almost as ridiculous as an actual porn plot line.  Cue the cheesy music.

Does anyone else want a bailout?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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and i’m back in the game!

Hello dear readers!

It’s me, Kathleen, your long lost backpacking blogger.  I’m back from South America and I look tan!  Wooohooo!  I went to five countries in 32 days, had “stomach issues” and saw flamingos.  Some other stuff too, I guess.  Now this is going to sound lame, but one of the things I missed most while away was writing for this blog.  Obviously though, M and M held down the fort quite well.  In fact, I’m happy to still have a “job” with this blog.  And a job it will be, because I still do not have a real one.  Haha.

It’s good to be back!

Oh, and just because it’s Wednesday, here is a special edition South American adventure Machu Picchu hump day cry face. (Yes, it was taken with a timer.  What of it?):

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[Posted by Kathleen]

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dating advice from a fourth grader.

When I was in elementary school I wrote a “book” about visiting the boardwalk during a storm.  Except that it was actually about visiting the doardwalk because the letter b was hard to wrap my mind around.  Then I wrote a book about a dog named Penny who had puppies.  Both were illustrated by the author.  Neither was any good (of course, my mom would tell you otherwise). 

Alec Greven, a fourth grader at Soaring Hawk Elementary School in Castle Rock, Colorado, has also written a book.  The only difference between his book and my book is that his is a national best seller.  Alec wrote “How to Talk to Girls” when he was eight as part of a school project.  Based on his life experiences and playground observations the book contains such advice as:

Sometimes, you get a girl to like you and then she ditches you.  Life is hard, move on!

Tip: About 73 percent of regular girls ditch boys; 98 percent of pretty girls ditch boys. 

(from Chapter One: The Facts of Life)

It should be noted that those statistics are not national figures, they pertain only to Alec’s observations of girls at Soaring Hawk Elementary.  The book impressed his teacher and principal so much that they decided to sell it for three dollars at the school’s book fair, where it became the fair’s best-seller.  Harper Collins published the book last month and now Alec is dispensing his dating advice to boys of all ages all over the country.  Some of his best advice?

“You also have to be aware that girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power.  If you know that now, things might be easier.”  (Chapter One: The Facts of Life)

That is a fact of life, indeed.  Way to go Alec.  To enjoy all of Alec’s advice you should probably buy his book or ask Santa to bring it to you for Christmas.  In the meantime, enjoy some more of Alec’s innocent wisdom:

Many boys who have crushes don’t know how to act around a girl. Some boys tease girls they like and are mean to them. Some boys say silly things to girls and act goofy. Some boys think they are acting cool by showing off.

This is not a good approach.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Whatever happens, just don’t act desperate. Girls don’t like desperate boys

. . . . . . . . . . . .

The right thing to do when you have a crush is:

  • Never show off too much
  • Don’t be silly and goofy
  • Control your hyperness (cut down on sugar if you need to)
  • Make sure you have good friends who won’t try to take the girl you like.

 

I know what my brother is getting for Christmas . . .

[Posted by Madeline]

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just six words and a picture.

bruce-and-obama

Barack ‘n’ Roll with the Boss! 

(the election may have been almost one month ago but I’m still celebrating)

[Posted by Madeline]

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