Tag Archives: blogging

baby it’s cold outside. no, seriously.

Today is one of those days where it’s just too cold to be out in public. I was not dressed for the weather and nearly froze to death when I stepped outside to walk home, and that made the decision for me that I will not be going out tonight. I think.

See, the problem is that I don’t really have anything to do if I stay home. My roommate isn’t here and I’m not all that into the book I’m reading and I’m one of those people who gets bored really, really quickly. And when I’m left alone and bored for too many hours, I start to get all emo and watch weird depressing music videos on iTunes and email my best friend asking her if she’ll marry me if I’m still alone at 30. Which is all well and good, except too much emo music makes me go a little nuts and I don’t particularly want to marry a girl. 

Spending time in the real world tends to cure my emo-ness, and thank goodness I was forced out into that real world to work today. (I know! I worked! Like a real grownup!) For a large chunk of the day, I was uploading things to my program’s website, and I got this weird sense of power. Like, I could RUIN LIVES by posting embarrassing things. And then I remembered that I already have my own website, and that I tend to prefer embarrassing myself. 

Besides getting out of your own head or maybe reading about people who have actual problems, this video is a pretty good cure for being a hot emo mess:

I’m sorry, I know. But that video is hilarious. I’m a little bit in love with Andy Samberg:

He wears nerdy glasses, too!

 

Hmm. In my situation, Andy Samberg would probably go out. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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calm down, people. this is temporary.

The following gchat message is representative of many angry messages we’ve been receiving lately:

Mouse: your blog is ruining my life
i knowww you’re busy with like school and finals and those ridiculous things, but i like check it every 10 mins thinking that it’s magically going to have new thigs to entertain me with and all i see is whatever animal that is, AND Dooce and Caroline have been slacking too… am i being forced to actually do work by the blogosphere?
The answer, dear Mouser, is probably YES. But I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize, and tell all of you, dear readers, that it might be like this for the next week or so. You see, in grad school they want us to do things like “write papers” and “take finals.” These silly things take up a lot of time, and I am sorry for my bloggy absence. I’ll do the best I can. 

[Posted by Mallory]

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change your pumpkin, change your world.

So it’s been daysssss since I’ve written.  Sowwy.  Things are reeeeeal busy. TWO WEEKS UNTIL ELECTION DAY!  But I’d like to take some time to spread some Halloween cheer–in a political way, because let’s face it, I am incapable of thinking about anything else until November 5.  And even then…I don’t know.

So here is Yes We Carve, the blog that gives you stencils for your Barack O’ Lantern and other Baracky treats.

Was posting a link to another blog a weak post on my part?  Yes.  But cut me some slack, I’m busy trying to save the Constitution.  I’ll do my best to keep posting.

PS- Woooohooooo Colin Powell!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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mccain sneers “that one”, misquotes TR.

Man, that was boring.  Awkward and uncomfortable jokes by McCain all went flat.  Insulting Tom Brokaw, jokes about hair plugs and balding (was that a swipe at Joe?).  The zingers were mediocre.  Then John McCain has the audacity to call B “that one”. OH NO HE DIDN’T.  I’m sorry, but I prefer audacity to come in the form beautifully bound hardcover book called “The Audacity of Hope”.  Ahem.  Here is the video:

What did he mean by “that one”?  What a demeaning term.  On top of flawed policies and rampant lies, John McCain lacks the manners and professionalism required to be the President of the United States.  Just picture him at the table with leaders from around the world.  Is he going to call someone he disagrees with “that one”?  Or perhaps he’d like to use another one of his favorite words, cunt.  He makes me so mad.

And he messed up a TR quote.  Again, OH NO HE DIDN’T.

“My hero is a guy named Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy Roosevelt used to say walk softly, talk softly, but carry a big stick. Senator Obama likes to talk loudly.”

Ugh.  Get it straight.

And for the love of all things good and pure in this world, Johnny, please stop calling me your friend. I am NOT your friend.  I wouldn’t even be your Facebook friend.

The majority of pundits and polls show that Obama won this debate.  I agree.  He holds the American agenda, and I will be so proud to call him our president.

Also, this is totally unrelated to the debate, but I find it to be an important fact since the candidates’ personalities seem to be on a pedestal in this election. Today, while Joe Biden was at the funeral of his mother-in-law, Sarah Palin was criticizing him on the campaign trail.  She’s a jerk.

Twenty-seven days until this election is ovvvvvah.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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blogging from the dnc, day 1.

So I wrote this yesterday, but couldn’t post it until today. Some live blogger I am.

So here I am, trying to live blog from the convention, yet I find myself live blogging from Boston Logan airport. Such is life. I was, however, lucky that my flight delay coincided perfectly with Michelle Obama’s speech (I only caught part of Sen. Ted Kennedy’s. What I did see, however, was spectacular). I was weeping openly during the video narrated by her mother. And her speech was just incredible. I think that if anybody had any questions about who she was, they were all answered. She gave us a poignant account of who she is and what she has done with her own life. Her brother spoke well when he said that they were proud of her not just because who she had married, but because she was an exemplary public servant in her own right. There was a wonderfully executed balance between showing us who Michelle is without losing sight of Barack. Ahh I love her.

As if you couldn’t already tell how I felt about M.O., here is my gchat gush fest with Caroline, college friend and the witty mastermind behind drunkinarowboat.

Caroline: SHE IS AMAZING
me: i am drooling all over myself
and weeping openly
Caroline: like she should be a movie star
me: i am a mess
Caroline: ive BAWLED LIKE FIFTEEN TIMES
me: her hair looks beautiful
Caroline: I KNOW
love the green
her in that orange dress and bow at age four???
me: oh my god i fell apart

Professional analysis for sure. CNN, yes, I will work for you. All you have to do is ask. Oh and the part with the girls? Perfect. I want the Obamas in the White House. Right. Now.

Once we got into the Denver airport (which is GIGANTIC), it was about 1:30 in the morning. Of course, there were no taxis or shuttles in sight. After calling two cabs and two shuttles, one cab eventually showed up and we finally got to the hotel around 4 a.m. (6 a.m. my time) Damnnnn.

I’m tired, but I’m fired up and ready to go. I will be just like Anderson Cooper (sigh) and let you know everything that goes on. I brought my camera, but not my camera cord, so pictures will be posted on Friday or Saturday. And I will be stalking George Clooney and all other celebrities like it’s my job. (UPDATE: I might be seeing Ben Affleck tonight!)

You know you love me. I love you back.
– Your SWTCTW DNC Correspondent

ps- In case you live under a rock:

[Posted by Kathleen]

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toby keith and political custody hearings.

Just when I start to feel down about politics, something like this comes along to brighten my day. Super patriotic American country music hero Toby Keith is a Democrat. WHAT?! (But I thought us Democrats hated America?) We’ve got Toby! We’ve got Toby Keith! And he likes Obama! YES! His voice of truthiness rings out like the Liberty Bell before it was cracked. And it is sweet music to my ears. Seriously, this is the first time I’ve appreciated country music since those crazy liberal ladies, the Dixie Chicks. Rawr.

Where I lived, it seemed as if Toby’s post 9/11 hit, “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)” and “Drops of Jupiter” by Train were the only two songs the radio station owned. And that’s saying something about this song.

If you should choose to ignore all of the hard work that comes with posting a video in the blog and don’t watch it (what I’m saying here is that you SHOULD watch it), here are lyrics from the song that I find particularly humorous:

Now this nation that I love
Has fallen under attack
A sucker punch came flyin’
From somewhere in the back
As soon as we could see clearly
Through our big black eye
Man we lit up your world
Like the fourth of July.

And Uncle Sam put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist
And the Eagle will fly, and it’s gonna to be hell
When you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell
And it’ll feel like the whole wide world’s raining down on you.
Brought to you courtesy of the red, white, and blue.

Justice will be served
And the battle will rage
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you’ll be sorry that you messed with
The US of A
Cuz we’ll put a boot in your ass
It’s the American way

This masterpiece comes from a Democrat. A DEMOCRAT. The Democrats are taking back the country! And country music. Heyyyyyyo!

I joke about “taking back” country music, but in all honesty this brings up something I’ve wanted to talk about for a long time. I cannot stand how certain things, both political and non-political, “belong” to one party or the other. Yes, this next exercise involves some serious stereotyping–but don’t get your bright white political panties in a twist–I’m only making a point. Here are just some things that come to mind:

Republicans: Supporting the troops, pearls, freedom (not to be confused with freedom of expression), tax breaks, Chuck Norris (you can keep him), old people’s votes, Texas, big business and businessmen, oil, quoting the Bible, NASCAR, country clubs, veterans, money, pastel colors, business school, Joe Lieberman (apparently), country music, football, big trucks and other large gas guzzling vehicles.

Democrats: The environment, vegetarians (especially the vegans), DMB (RIP Leroi Moore), health care, females, the West Wing, getting out of Iraq, herbal tea, Apple computers, pointing out the bad economy, earth tones, liberal arts colleges, labor unions, Massachusetts, minorities of any kind (we love you), Hollywood, hope, the Toyota Prius, education, rhymes with smasmorshion, taking care of old people, MTV’s Rock the Vote, Al Gore.

We haven’t painted ourselves red, white and blue like Toby Keith wants us too–we’ve painted each other into separate corners. Seriously, when did these political custody hearings occur? I like pearls! And support the troops!

It’s a shame that being active in an environmental group flags you as a Democrat, or having a yellow “Support the Troops” ribbon sticker on your car makes you a Republican. Because, obviously, we all should care about both. We should care about everything in our great nation. Even NASCAR.

One last thing to add to the Democratic score board: blogging. Count it! And you best not disagree with me there. Because I’ll put a boot in your ass. It’s the American way! Thanks for the rhetoric, Toby!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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youtube clip of today: telephone piano.

To all of you who claim that I have too much time on my hands because I blog, I present to you this video.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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see this cake? don’t eat it.

As much as I like to promote my own blog (and wittiness), I must give major kudos to this blog, http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/. They have truly combined some of my favorite things and turned it into a heeeeeesterical bloggy. Frosting, cake and snark. Yummy. Highlights include bad punctuation, horrible spelling, colors that make you want to have a seizure and just general grossness. Here’s a picture to tempt you. Enjoy.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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thoughts on bourbon, blogging, and SAHMs.

Confession: I have a new girl crush/idol in the world of bloggy women. Her name is Heather B. Armstrong, and she is snarky and wonderful. On her blog, Dooce, she describes herself as a “Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) or a Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker.” (And really, she’s not exactly a stay at home mom, because that implies that she doesn’t work. Really, her blog is so successful that both Heather and her husband work full time on keeping the blog witty and awesome and, you know, functioning.) Plus Heather says that she “love[s] bourbon, chips and salsa, Britpop, and television that excels at being really awful.” Hellooo, kindred spirit. She even looks cool and witty and like the kind of girl you’d want to go have drinks with then maybe dance on a table and meet some strangers and have a late-night breakfast burrito from 7-Eleven:

I’ve decided that I want to be just like Heather when I grow up. I would like to be snarky and fun and irreverent and have a cute husband, perfect daughter, and a job that lets me hang out in my PJs all day, presumably drinking bourbon and eating chips and salsa as the wit escapes my brain through my fingertips. Not such a bad thing to aspire to, eh?

Here’s an excellent excerpt from Heather’s FAQ:

“I’m surprised you haven’t been reported to child welfare with how public you are about some of the things you think and do regarding your daughter. Paper towels are very dangerous for your daughter to chew on. She could suffocate. don’t let her be alone with them. I’m amazed at how foolish you can be sometimes.”

When you call DCFS, please get the story straight. Not only do I leave her alone with paper towels, I set her in the middle of a flea-infested floor and surround her with sharp objects and porn. Then I turn on a wood-burning stove in the corner of the room and seal all the windows. Before I leave the room and lock the door, I stick a bottle full of vodka in her mouth, to muffle the screaming.

Heather, I dig you. I also hope that one day Kathleen and I will actually be important enough to have an FAQ section. I don’t think we’ve received any questions, unless you count the marriage pleas from the millions of attractive bachelors. Okay now go read Dooce and be happy.

[Posted by Mallory]

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everyone deserves music. and ice water.

As Kathleen mentioned, we are very sorry for being so delinquent the past few days. It may not seem like it, but blogging is stressful! Sometimes you just don’t want to blog, but then your millions of fans (or your sister) are all “Heeey why no blogging the past few days?? I’m angry! Write more!”

The reason for my lack of blogging is that I had a visitor this past weekend and was out actually living my life. Exciting, right? (I was extremely proud of myself for not looking at the blog for a full three days…normally I can’t last three minutes). My friend Katie was visiting from Maine, so we were running around doing lots of fun things. Most notably, we attended the Mile High Music Festival, which was absolutely amazing but also absolutely exhausting. Sitting out for hours in 95 degree heat is not exactly relaxing.

The first day of the concert, Kelsey, my sister Maddy, Katie, and I came — we thought — well-prepared, with snacks, flasks hidden under our dresses, and plenty of water. We didn’t consider the fact that water warms up pretty quickly when it has no ice in it, and so by about 2:00 p.m., our water was a few degrees away from boiling. From 3:00 to 4:00, I actually thought I might die. I was sort of limping from stage to stage, clutching my throat, and begging every beer man I saw for some of the ice that was keeping the beers cold. (“Please sir! Can I have some ice?!”)

Though my martyrdom was reaching epic proportions, I was aware that I wasn’t the only one at the concert who was dying of heat. It was very entertaining to see people fighting for the tiniest amounts of shade in the strangest of places: under a large pole, behind a row of porta-potties, beside a trash can, etc. People were getting desperate, man.

Luckily, things cooled off by about 5:00, and then everyone stepped away from the porta-potties, regained their senses, and focused on the music. It was about this time that we were upgraded to VIP tickets, which means we got free beer and wine, free food, a nice cool tent to sit in, and shuttle rides from stage to stage. Baaaaaller. Then we got to see Spoon, which got us all going (read: dancing like crazy, unashamed hippies). It was Michael Franti and Spearhead, however, that made the weekend for me.

Now, I’m not a huge Michael Franti fan. It’s not that I don’t like him; I just don’t know a lot of his stuff. But Katie, being the best fake hippie among us, wanted us all to go, and we obliged. His show was awesome. He had that intangible thing that only a few artists have that makes a concert truly kickass, whether or not you know the music. He had everyone in the crowd dancing like maniacs, and he was clearly having a great time, which makes a huge difference. After his performance, we were all blissfully happy and more or less remained that way for the rest of the weekend.

I won’t go through every single performance we saw over the course of the weekend (that could take a while), but let’s talk about John Mayer for a second.

The entire festival was extremely well-organized, and as part of that, all of the artists were very punctual. They started and ended exactly when they were supposed to, every time. So we’re all lounging around waiting for John Mayer to come on at 6:00 on Sunday, and at 5:30 people start cheering. We stand up and see that some dude has taken the stage and has begun to sing “Start Me Up.” We were confused. Our conversation went a little something like this:

“Wait, that can’t be John Mayer.”

“Yeah, why would he start so early?”

“And why would he be wearing a tank top?”

“And why would he open with a cover?”

“And since when is his entire left arm tattooed?”

“It must just be some random filler guy that they put onstage to kill time.”

“It really sounds like John Mayer, though.”

“Oh my god, is he wearing CAPRIS?”

The stranger onstage was, indeed, John Mayer, and he was, indeed, wearing a tank top, manpris, and black tennis shoes. Ouch. Other than the frightening wardrobe choice (where’s the womanly influence, Jen?), he was looking pretty good. Especially when he took his shirt off for the last song (sure, it was a little unnecessary, but who am I to complain?):

John, have you been working out?

Anyway…the concert was fabulous and you should all come next year. We’ll have a special SWTCTW section, with lots of ice and Coors Light.

Before I wrap this up, I have to recognize the two MVP’s of the concert. First, Mr. Michael Franti for reasons stated above:

Okay one more of him, courtesy of Katie, just because these are cool photos:

The second MVP award goes to Dave Matthews’ drummer, Carter Beauford, for being the jolliest human I have ever seen:

Carter, I dig you.

[Posted by Mallory]

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