Category Archives: definitely not politics

kimberley vlaminck stars in “star face”.

I hope you thought my post title was as clever as I did. Anyway, this story broke a few days ago, but I’ve been DYING to share it with you. So meet Kimberley Vlaminck.

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Yes, those are star tattoos on her face. Fifty-six, to be exact. According to the 18-year-old Belgian though, she only asked for three but the tattoo artist didn’t understand her. She then says she “fell asleep” and woke up like that. Well, I don’t have any tattoos, but from what I’ve heard they hurt. A lot. I can’t really see someone falling asleep while a needle was poking ink into the skin on their face. Call me crazy. The tattoo artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, says that she did indeed ask for that and that she was awake the entire time. Want to see what Mr. Toumaniantz looks like? I thought so:

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Rawr? Ha. Wowie. I mean, really, she should not be THAT surprised if she is telling the truth (but I doubt it). Despite an eye witness saying that Kimberley did in fact ask for 56 stars, Rouslan is being a nice guy and offering to pay for half of the removal, which would cost roughly$14,000. The cost of the original tattoo? About $90. Learning from other people’s mistakes? Priceless.

So there is your SWTCTW life lesson of the day. Whose side are you on?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under definitely not politics, news, pop culture, random, six word memoirs, thoughts, weird

spencer pratt raps; people everywhere cringe.

Oh dear God, take a look at this. According to a Billboard article (and last night’s episode of “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!”), the male half of the media whore team known as Speidi just came out with a rap single. Yeah. The video is worse than you imagined:

In the Billboard article, Spencer waxes eloquent about his rap skillz, and on the fact that he is like totally the best white rapper ever:

“Honestly, I used to be the biggest Eminem fan on the planet, but the difference now is that he’s so paid. My hustle is the same as his was when he was 25, coming out with his first flow.” And he continues his harsh criticism of [Asher] Roth, whom he recently referred to as a “nerd” in an interview with MTV News. “I want to be the antithesis to Roth,” explains Pratt. “If he’s the good guy right now, I’ll be the villain. I’m more hated than Eminem ever was, so why can’t I be the hated rapper?”

Spencer, I don’t think you’ve ever had “hustle”. And “so paid”? Okay, Kanye West. (I obviously had to look that up…but I understand that “Gold Digger” line now!)

Spencer Pratt, please go away. Take your wife with you. WE DO NOT CARE.

P.S. If you insist on staying around, at least make your wife dye her hair a normal human color.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under celebrities, definitely not politics, humor, music, pop culture

youtube clip of today: wearable towel.

The informercial madness continues.

WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT USING A REGULAR TOWEL?!

Honestly, people.  How come everything needs to have arm holes now?  Our blankets, our towels.  What’s next?  Are we honestly that lazy?

And what would you say to someone if you saw them wearing a towel as a dress/toga in public?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, fashion, humor, pop culture, random, thoughts, TV, Uncategorized, weird, YouTube

youtube clip of today: cat yodeling.

Cat people are SO WEIRD.  But let’s face it, sometimes really weird can be funny.  Happy Friday/start of a three day weekend, y’all!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under animals, definitely not politics, humor, music, pop culture, random, the arts, weird, YouTube

meaty business cards for carnivorous people.

Let me preface this by saying this was passed on to me by one of the manliest men I know.  RAWR!  Okay, now we can begin.

Meat lovers, rejoice!  Now you can integrate your carnivorous ways into the business world.  How, you ask?  BUSINESS CARDS MADE OUT OF BEEF JERKY.

I’m not making that up.

Here is a picture from their Web site, www.meatcards.com:

meatcardsHilarious and brilliant!  Here’s more from the Web site:

Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients:
MEAT AND LASERS.

Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.

MEAT CARDS do not fit in a Rolodex, because their deliciousness CANNOT BE CONTAINED in a Rolodex.

Now if only they could make business cards out of bacon…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, food, humor, news, pop culture, random, thoughts, weird

the guy next door’s the winner!

I have a tendency to get emotionally invested in a competition very, very quickly. I can ask my dad who to root for in a college football game, and by the end I’m crying when the quarterback runs over to hug his mother. I can be watching Dancing With the Stars in French and by the end I’m giddy (and also probably crying) because the cute girl I liked won. I can also not see a single episode of American Idol but still, inexplicably, watch and care about the finale.  

I forced my poor friend Jill to watch the singing part of the finale with me two nights ago. (In my slight defense, she DVR-ed it so we fast-forwarded through the cheesy parts or any moment where Ryan Seacrest talked.) Now that Adam guy has a set of pipes, and I was totally impressed by him, despite the creeptastic trench coat and smoke. But Kris Allen won me over. It’s a well-publicized fact that my favorite genre of music is Boys Playing Guitars, and he fits the bill perfectly. He’s  just so earnest! And he plays instruments! And he has a cute wife! And anyone else think he sounds a lot like Adam Levine when he’s singing? He also gets an adorable smashed and crooked face when he sings — like John Mayer, but more endearing.

The point is, I teared up any time they showed Kris’s adorable family, then I realized that I would actually buy his CD (as long as “No Boundaries” isn’t on it, good GOD), so I was compelled to vote for him. That’s right, I totally texted in my vote. And he won! HOORAH!

I didn’t watch the results part of the finale, but this picture, courtesy of the NYT, is perfect:

kris allen

Here’s hoping he doesn’t get famous and starting banging random groupies.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under celebrities, crushes, definitely not politics, music, pop culture, TV

youtube clip of today: twilight remix.

It speaks volumes that Kathleen and I each independently discovered this video and intended to post about it. Or perhaps it just speaks to the creepy way some videos become viral overnight. Either way, I love this. Not exactly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s perfect for reminding all of us how ridiculous our obsession with Twilight is. (Don’t deny it; I know you daydream of Edward Cullen.) I’ve only read the first book and can’t get through the second because it’s so bad, but damn gurl, I loved that first book. And I’m ashamed to admit that for like a month, I monitored my thoughts because I was convinced that some people could read my mind. (I wish, more than anything, that I was joking.) Anyway, enjoy this version of Twilight…with cheeseburgers:

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under crushes, definitely not politics, humor, pop culture, YouTube

hey ladies, it’s national cleavage day!

picture-1Stick ’em out and push ’em up, ladies, because it’s National Cleavage Day 2009!  In South Africa.  Haha.  While we don’t officially celebrate the holiday here in the good old US of A, I’m sure some exceptions can be made if it really resonates with you.

Now I know you are thinking that some pervy dude who still lives in his parent’s basement came up with this holiday so that on the one day he actually stops playing video games and watching porn, he can see some real cleavage.  I mean, that’s what I thought.  In fact, it’s sponsored by Wonderbra and Cosmo and some proceeds from the day are dedicated to a good cause.  You think I’m kidding?  Here is the Web site:

http://www.wonderbra.co.za/nationalcleavageday.aspx

And even more reliable, the Wiki.

Wonderbra’s slogan for the day made me laugh out loud. “Firm supporter of the left and the right”.  Five points to Gryffindor!  Errr…or whichever Hogwarts house the creator of that phrase is in.

So do whatever you need to do to make it happen.  And I think it would be extremely appropriate to pour yourself a nice glass of Cleavage Creek wine

Also, since the girls might be exposed today, you should seriously consider purchasing a Tiddy Bear.  What the hell is that, you ask?  A Tiddy Bear is my newest infomercial obsession.  Observe– A Tiddy Bear:

Can you even live without this?  You need to protect your “shoulder”.

Happy Cleavage Day, y’all!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, fashion, health, humor, news, pop culture, random, sex, YouTube

bikini jeans make my soul weep.

These actually render me wordless (which rarely happens), so I’ll just post the pictures.

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2_5makethumbWowie.

Wow.

Wow.

PS-  If you want to buy these beauties and just love the idea of a built in sparkly whale’s tail, they’re made by Sanna’s of Brazil and they’re only a hundred bucks!  So sexxxxxxxy.  You’ll for sure be the flyest girl at the club!  Bye bye Banana Republic, hello Sanna’s!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, fashion, humor, news, pop culture, random, sex, thoughts, weird

where the wild things are trailer!

Did they seriously make “Where the Wild Things Are” into a movie? (Let me answer my own question: yes, they did.)   Are you okay with this?!  (I’m clearly struggling with it.)  What are your thoughts?  It seems kind of dark and twisty…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under adventures, animals, blogging, definitely not politics, movies, news, pop culture, post-college depression, random, thoughts, YouTube