Barack ‘n’ Roll with the Boss!
(the election may have been almost one month ago but I’m still celebrating)
[Posted by Madeline]
Category Archives: family
just six words and a picture.
I will never pretend that I actually pay attention to football, but I am biologically required to care about the annual CU/Nebraska game. This year’s was just devastating for real CU fans, and me.
Ralphie says: “Way to choke, Hawkins.”
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under animals, family, news, six word memoirs, sports
things for which i am thankful.
You end a sentence/phrase with a preposition, your AP English teacher has a heart attack. You arrange a sentence/phrase so that it doesn’t end in a preposition, you sound like an elitist douche. When given the choice, I’ll obviously go for the latter.
Anyway, seeing that Madeline (the “guest” slash obviously permanent blogger) has beat me to breaking our dry spell, I was overwhelmed with Catholic guilt. Friends, it’s not that I haven’t wanted to blog in the past few days. I really have. It’s just that I’ve been too overwhelmed with work, to the point that blogging would have caused me even more Catholic guilt. So I cut my losses.
Now that I’m home on break, I have a little more time on my hands. In light of the upcoming holiday o’ food, I’ve decided to share a random list of some things for which I am thankful. In no particular order…
1. Stovetop stuffing. And while we’re at it, the cranberry sauce that looks like the can in which it came (now I’m super paranoid about the preposition thing, dammit). We’re not exactly fancy in my family.
2. Michael Franti. I saw him for the first time back in July, and I fell further in love with him when I saw him at the 9:30 Club in DC last Wednesday. Even if you think you wouldn’t like his music, I’d encourage you to go to one of his concerts. He has an amazing ability to put on the BEST SHOW EVER. His energy is just unbelievable. It didn’t hurt that he made me laugh, made me cry, and made me chant “Barack Obama” all in the span of three hours. And perhaps most impressively, Mr. Franti makes me feel like I’m a good dancer, even when I’m sober (!!!). Take a look at my favorite song off of his newest album:
If you don’t like that song, you should probably just give up on life. You clearly don’t have a soul.
3. While we’re thinking about him, Barack Obama. And Michelle, Malia, and Sasha. Also Joe and Jill Biden.
4. That my finger didn’t entirely fall off today at the nail salon. The entire story would call for a blog post in itself, but I’ll just say that it involved a bloody electric buffer, a sadistic manicurist, and sanitation standards that would have made a cockroach shudder.
5. My ability to entertain myself. My friend Rachel thinks that I could have my own reality show because of the embarrassing shit I do in the privacy of my own space. I’m not sure I agree with her (although, hey, people do watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta), but I am grateful for this skill of mine. The other day, for instance, I caught myself singing “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” Out loud. In a British accent. Riiiight.
6. That I’m not pregnant.
7. That I’m not morbidly obese. (I honestly think about this on a daily basis.)
8. Goat cheese, breakfast sandwiches, salsa, bourbon, etc. etc.
9. The mountains.
10. Copper.
11. KBCO.
12. Cry Face:
13. All of you, dear readers.
14. The fact that I can make this ridiculous list, because it means that all of the important stuff (health of friends, family, etc.) are already there.
Happy Thanksgiving, SWTCTW readers!
[Posted by Mallory]
a friendly SWTCTW public service announcement.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow! I hope that all of our lovely readers will get to spend it surrounded by friends and family and with yummy, delicious food. Ready for the guilt trip? Just like every year, this year there will be many individuals and families whose tables are empty and this year, there will be even more.
Nationally, demand at local food banks is up 25-40% as more middle class families, who used to be donors, are seeking assistance in this troubled economy. Donations have either stayed at the same rate or increased slightly but not enough to cover the increased demand. This will be a continued problem, through 2009, but the Holidays are a great time to start helping. Please visit Feeding America (formerly Second Harvest of America) to find a food bank near you and see how you can help. A lot of families rely on their local food bank to put food on their table so please, keep them in mind. Any donation will be greatly appreciated and will help to feed a family in need.
So that’s our PSA. We’ll get back to the snark shortly.
[Posted by Madeline]
a fun game for your friday.
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. And they named him Bronx Mowgli. Yeah, that Mowgli. I’m all for creative names, but I think parents should consider the mockery factor. Ashlee and Pete didn’t seem to do that. Maybe Ashlee is displacing her anger about the misspelling of her own name onto her infant son.
Our Southern belle correspondent tipped us off to this wonderful story, and with the help of Marie Claire UK, we came up with a fun game. You know how you can make up your own porn name or soap opera star name? Well, now you can also make up your own Ashlee Simpson baby name. Here’s the formula:
[One slightly shitty U.S. city + One cartoon animal name]
Here are some examples:
Harlem Tarzan
Compton Simba
Watts Baloo
Scranton Shrek
Our fun new game will sweep the nation. Tell us your favorites in the jump.
UPDATE: FINE, due to some complaints from our favorite readers, let’s change this up a bit:
[One location in the U.S. + One cartoon animal name]
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under babies, celebrities, family, humor, music, news, pop culture
newest boomers have obama to thank.
Oh boy. Or, girl. This week’s Newsweek explores the possibility of an Obama Baby Boom and the opportunity for “that’s what she said” jokes alone makes the article HI-larious. Let’s start with the lede:
The theory is almost too perfect to be true. Barack Obama the son of politically progressive parents, was born Aug. 4, 1961—almost nine months to the day after John F. Kennedy was elected to the White House. Is it possible Obama was conceived on that historic night?
Um. Ew? I freely admit to being borderline obsessed with the President-elect and his family (What? No puppy until the Spring? Nooo!) but there are some things that I really just don’t need to know. While Newsweek offers little (okay, nothing) in the way of statistical proof and only anecdotal evidence for the possible Obama Baby Boom, the term “Obama Baby” has already been defined by UrbanDictionary.com as “a child conceived after Obama was proclaimed President by way of celebratory sex.” Want to hear it used in a sentence?
“On election night, my husband had managed to down a bottle and a half of wine in celebration and he was all about making an ‘Obama election baby’,” Abbi Whitaker, 32, of Reno, Nev., told NEWSWEEK. “He thought it would be the coolest thing.”
Mr. Whitaker, I assure you that you will be the only one to consistently consider that “the coolest thing.” I’ve had the unfortunate experience, not once but twice, to hear about the conception of close friends from the conceivers themselves. BELIEVE ME, there is nothing cool about it, no matter how crazy (ew) the story may be. Your friends will not think so, your child will not think so, and his or her friends REALLY will not think so.
Speaking of things that are not cool, Eric Davis of Minneapolis told Newsweek that during one of their election night celebrations, “my wife accidentally said, ‘Oh, Obama!'” Awkward . . . Feel free to put post-election euphoria to good use and get busy but it’s still important to say the right name.
Is the Obama Baby Boom a real phenomenon? Although demographic experts and physicians expect “a healthy increase” in births we won’t know for sure for another nine months.
[Posted by Madeline]
the pregnant man is pregnant. again!
Thomas Beatie, the transgendered man who made headlines earlier this year by simply being a pregnant man, has got a bun in the oven! Congrats to Thomas, his wife, Nancy, and their baby girl, Susan! Susan, the competition starts now, kid. You have to be the perfect oldest child, just like the rest of us first borns!
There’s nothing snarky to say about this, nor should there be. Everyone is entitled to happiness. Read the story and watch Thomas’ interview with Barbara Walters here.
And here are some pictures:
It’s really quite remarkable, isn’t it?
[Posted by Kathleen]
watch me do the humpty hump.
BAHAHA remember that song?
Before I post the (yet again belated) Hump Day Cry Face, let’s all welcome our wonderful new bloggerette, Madeline! Hooray! It’s like we elected a new president, except that old president’s still around, and doesn’t suck.
It is raining a lot today which means I hate my life. Every time it rains my brain switches into “mmm let’s lie under the covers and watch lots of bad television and eat carbohydrates from a bag” mode. But instead, I had a “business meeting” and “lunch with a colleague.” Which mean I hung out with my friend and my boss looking at pictures of Cry Face and then had lunch with a family friend. Do you SEE how important my life is?
Anyway, as I was showing my friend and my boss some Cry Face photos, I stumbled across this gem:
Featured above are the father and youngest daughter of one the greatest, wackiest families in the universe. Doesn’t Frank, on the left, look as though he belongs in a nursing home?
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under adventures, blogging, cry face, family, humor, post-college depression
nicolas cage is one creepy mofo.
If you know me or if you’ve read the About Us page, you should know that Nicolas Cage is on my list of people/things not to be trusted. Why don’t I trust Nicolas Cage? Because he gives me the heebie jeebies and I don’t even know what that means. He’s a creepmaster creep to the extreme.
Upon learning my feelings for the Cage creep, my cousin Sean (heyyyyy cousin!) validated my sentiments by showing me one of the funniest youtube clips I have ever seen. Why did it take me so long to post? I don’t know. But watch this, laugh, and then thank me for saving you the money you would have used to rent The Wickerman. Now, I present to you, The Best Scenes from The Wickerman, featuring Nicolas Cage.
HAHAHAHHAHAHA. Amazing.
“Killing me won’t bring back your goddamned honey!”
PRICELESS.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under celebrities, definitely not politics, family, humor, movies, pop culture, random, the arts, thoughts, YouTube
six words to change the world. 