Three million people have enjoyed the musical stylings of this advertising guru–so you know it’s something special. And when he looks into your eyes and sings to you, it’s like he’s singing straight into your soul. I hope you’re emotionally ready, suckers.
I will warn you, I have my suspicions that this video actually brainwashes you. Something about the music. For some reason I am feeling as if I need living rooms, bedrooms, dinettes. I don’t know what it is but I just want to go to Flea Market Montgomery. It’s just like, it’s just like, a mini-mall! Hey hey!
Happy birthday Barack! Our presumptive Democratic nominee is 47 years old today. And he’s on the campaign trail, doing his thing. I bet I know what his birthday wish will be when he blows out the candles on his cake tonight.
A new grill for the backyard, duh.
But instead of taking today off, Obama is actually giving voters a present. At 11 a.m. today, he will unveil his new energy plan. So look for livestreaming online or flip on your teeevee. Hooray!
A lot of people are taking this opportunity to juxtapose B’s youth with John’s lack of youth. The WSJ has a semi-interactive graphic about the age gap. I’ll admit, I take a few cheap shots about McCain’s age. But the truth is, if my party’s nominee was that age and I felt he was the right person to do the job then it wouldn’t matter. Age has nothing to do with why I think Barack is ready to lead–it’s his positions on the issues. So take that.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BARACK! YOU’LL BE A GREAT PRESIDENT.
Oh Alan Gillett. This is pretty painful, dude–yet scarily entertaining. It’s like looking at something terrible. You want to look away, but you just can’t. Because that’s human nature.
My favorite part is literally the first few seconds before the music starts. You can just feel that something good is coming, and Mr. Personality himself does not disappoint! Sure, the looks from the crowd are entertaining, but Alan manages to keep himself the star of this clip. In a way, he brings me back to my childhood: his singing voice sounds like Ernie of the infamous hetero-lifemates Bert and Ernie, and he dances like a three year old at a Raffi concert rocking out to Baby Beluga. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. I bet he won this talent show.
Alan, I appreciate you. And we need more people with your kind of personality to shake things up. And put more good videos on YouTube.
Ladies PUHLEASE get yourselves under control! Oh man, I wish I knew what they were fighting about. Can anybody translate?! Maybe the lady in red stole the lady in blue’s man? Perhaps this was a Zac Efron vs. Joe Jonas debate gone awry? (Zefron, obviously wins. Hands down.)
Whatever, I love an underdog. And the lady in blue seems vicious. I’m on Team Red! But if this is a political fight we’re talking about, I’m on Team Blue. Get it? Because I’m a Democrat?! Okay, sowwwwwwy. Yeah, I’d hate me too. Enjoy.
Instead of, I don’t know, talking about the issues, our friend Johnny McCain has stooped to a new low–and purely out of jealousy. He newest campaign ad compares Barack to Britney and Paris. And John, I know it sucks to not be the most popular kid in school–but the reason Barack is so popular is not because he parties a lot and is famous for no reason other than being rich, or is a talented singer/dancer but a tragic trainwreck (sorry, Britty) that people just can’t stop caring about.
It’s because he’s on to something really special. Something that you, John, can’t deliver. And people want change. One last thing, he was the editor of the Harvard Law Review and used to teach Constitutional law. He’s not dumb. I, in no way, am inferring that Paris and Britney are dumb. And I’m SURE that wasn’t McCain’s intent either. Right?
And this just in! The Hilton family donated the maximum amount possible to McCain’s campaign! Haha OUCH. So they’re probably not happy that he compared Barack to Paris in a negative light… Thanks to Jon Stewart for doing that research for me! Watching Jon Stewart and blogging at the same time is divine. You should try it sometime. I can only hope Jon’s (not the John previously mentioned) wit will rub off on me. Mmm, a girl can dream.
Here is the ridiculously dumb, immature and ineffective campaign ad:
And here is what Saint B had to say about it:
“Given the seriousness of the issues, you’d think we could have a serious debate. But so far, all we’ve been hearing about is Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. I mean, I do have to ask my opponent, is that the best you can come up with? Is that really what this election is about? Is that what is worthy of the American people?”
Well done, Mr. Obama. You are a gentleman and a scholar. Now go kick McCain’s ass.
Oh god this video made me cry watching it I was laughing so hard. And I physically have a difficult time producing tears, so that is a ringing endorsement. This guy REALLY loves wrestling. And it’s still real to him, DAMMIT!
Side note, this is for sure a YouTube video, but it comes from ebaumsworld.com. I just was discussing ebaumsworld with a friend about a month ago. Oh man, I miss it (it’s still around, it’s just not as good as the other ones). It was the predecessor to collegehumor.com and YouTube. Amazing. It makes me think of the good old days in high school. Okay, I’m done reminiscing. You are going to LOVE this video.
The new Harry Potter movie trailer is up! Watch it right now.
Or, you can watch it on the big screen before Brendan Fraser’s new Mummy movie, which opens on Friday. But why in god’s name would you go pay $12 to see that? I love me some HP, but that is not worth it to me. I would never get those hours of my life back.
And here’s a picture of Harry from the new movie. Still looking good. He gets hotter with each movie.
This is a great pranking your significant other/one-upping their jokes youtube video. I mean, almost a million people have viewed it. That’s pretty good payback. The best, by far, is the Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel battle with Matt and Ben. WHY OH WHY DID YOU ALL HAVE TO BREAK UP?! Think about the children! (Like me).
Anyway, while you are watching, just know that no animals were harmed in the making of this. I only have one complaint: it mentions MySpace. And you all know how much I abhor the MySpaces.
By the way, if I see my precious Dr. Seuss in a video similar to this in the slightest, I’m coming after you. You know who you are.
So whoever these guys are, the Bee-Boys (like B-Boys, get it?!) are awesome. I love their costumes, their dancing, everything. And DJ Honey? SMOKIN’. Kids, you best try and book him now for weddings, bar mitvahs and sweet sixteens, because he’s about to get HUGE.
Here is the best line from the whole thing: “Bees! Bees! Bees! Yo, I found some nectar!” Priceless.
These guys need to be on one of my favorite shows, America’s Best Dance Crew. Can you just imagine what the judges would say? Yes, you can, because if you watch the show at all, you know they’d say what they always say.
Mario Lopez: Well, you “bee boys” sure got this crowd buzzin’! I have rock hard abs and will be appearing in a musical on Broadway this summer, so let’s hear what the judges have to say!
Shane Sparks: Ya’ll are the SICKEST crew I have EVAH seen. Check out my choreography in the hottest new music video which will be featured on MTV–Y’all are the FUTURE of dance! Y’all didn’t do nothing that I wouldn’t do. Your choreography was hot. Y’all are killin’ it. Ya’ll just ripped tonight!
Lil’ Mama: You boys came on to this stage, and you really gave it to me and to every single person in here. Ya’ll really bring it and I respect that. You can check out my hot new single dropping this month. My lip gloss is poppin’. I’d like to show that one clip in slow-mo, mmmmmhmmm, you bring to the show next week what you brought this week and you have the potential to be America’s Best Dance Crew! Ya’ll’s costumes are HOT.
JC Chasez: As a member of the world’s most successful boy band group ever and an accomplished dancer with better technical ability than Justin Timberlake, I recognize the difficulty of your movements. But you’re a little sloppy, and last week I warned you to tighten it up. I mean, have you seen the “Bye Bye Bye” video? That is perfection. I’m a little let down by your performance tonight. You need more choreography. And that’s all I’m going to say, but just be careful. And for the record, I’m working on a hot, new, young, hip project, and it’s going to be flawless. I look forward to seeing what you do with this opportunity I have personally bestowed upon you.
Obviously the crowd boos JC because he’s the only one that puts any thought into what he says, pays attention to the technique, and gives constructive criticism (yet he still kind of sucks), but the hot girls that they ALWAYS place behind him are still going to hook up with him after the show.
So after getting sidetracked, let me summarize: I love this video and laughed out loud.
I’m not going to say what this video is ultimately about, because that spoils the good times you are sure to have watching it, but whoever came up with this concept has a piece of my heart. And the person who made this has his or her heart in the right place. Awwww!
So according to a former Apollo 14 (not 13) astronaut, aliens exist–they not only exist, they’ve visited us multiple times over the years, but our big, bad government has covered it up (a government conspiracy theory? Gasp! How revolutionary!). But not to fear, friends, because Dr. Edgar Mitchell assures us that if they were hostile and wanted us to be dead by now, we would be. Phew! The good doctor told all of this told all of this to Kerrang! radio. You can listen to the radio show here, or just read these quotes.
“I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we’ve been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real.”
“It’s been well covered up by all our governments for the last 60 years or so, but slowly it’s leaked out and some of us have been privileged to have been briefed on some of it.”
“I’ve been in military and intelligence circles, who know that beneath the surface of what has been public knowledge, yes – we have been visited. Reading the papers recently, it’s been happening quite a bit.”
Wow, he sounds–to use his word AGAIN, privileged. Here’s some more good news. Aliens look EXACTLY like we expected them to! Big eyes, big heads, and small bodies. And who doesn’t like being right?
Now, I know it isn’t my place to judge or say what is real and what is not (but this blog is 50% mine and I’m going to do what I want, duh). And despite the fact that Dr. Mitchell did a moonwalk and is very smart, I think he’s being a tad bit moony about this. I mean, come on. Aliens? Really? But then again, if you’ve ever been to a Waffle House between the hours of 11 p.m. and 5 a.m., it is convincing. There are some strange looking folks there…
Anyway, I did some thinking and made a list of aliens I wouldn’t mind running into and those I would. Here are some that I would feel fairly okay about:
Here are those that would most likely upset me:
And finally, the scariest of all:
Ugh. And just because I’m feeling frisky, here is a music video featuring a really talented alien:
Let me see you just bounce with me, just bounce with me, just bounce with me. Come on just slide with me, now slide with me…
six words to change the world. 