Monthly Archives: August 2008

unsurprising separations and other important news.

Because I’m such a DC local now (someone even asked me for directions today! No word on whether they made it to their destination safely, but I’m optimistic…), I read the free little daily newspaper that you pick up on the street. It’s basically a dumbed down, easy-to-digest version of the Washington Post. Today there were some pretty interesting celebrity tidbits, so I thought I’d share those and other pieces of news with you, dear readers:

  • Brace yourselves for this first one, folks: Chris Kattan (or Mr. Peepers to you) has filed for separation from his way hotter model wife. They had been married for a staggering eight weeks. In fact, Kathleen posted about the nuptials back in June, and because she is such a wise, wise blogger, she was already skeptical. [People]
  • Lady rapper Da Brat was sentenced to three years in prison for — wait for it — smashing a hostess over the head with a bottle of rum last Halloween. Yo ho ho, eh? An intergalactic high five to anyone name a song she sang… [Inside Track]
  • So the Olympics are over. Thank goodness we have the DNC to casually watch now so that we don’t have to turn back to watching reruns of The Hills. Kathleen will be reporting live from MY Mile High City, and I’ll be doing world-changing things like going to class and watching the speeches on the teevee. Didn’t love Pelosi’s speech today, and didn’t get to see the Kennedys’ because I was…um…watching Jon & Kate Plus 8.
  • The Brits (the English? When I was abroad my English friends got very angry if we called them British) are the new Americans, at least when it comes to drinking heavily in foreign countries and giving your own country a bad name. Great quote from the mayor of Malia, a popular resort town in Greece: “They scream, they sing, they fall down, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit.” Sounds like a normal Thursday to me. [New York Times]
  • So, this is kind of old news, but Tucker Max is making a movie. Now, I used to be one of those people who thought he was HI-larious and I stalked his website and maybe met him once, sober, at a sketchy bar in downtown Richmond. (And I’m ashamed to admit that not one but TWO of my acquaintances have “known” Mr. Max in a different way. I feel dirty just thinking about that.) Now that I’m a super mature college graduate, though, I’m kind of over the Tucker Max thing. I prefer to make my own embarrassing stories. Anyway, according to several people one set, Tucker is miserable to work with. [Gawker]
And just in case you thought this blog didn’t teach you anything, know this: my little sister (who, in her slight defense, has been living under the rock known as sorority rush for the past two weeks), correctly answered an extra credit question in class today because she knew the name of the new Dem VP nominee. The only reason she knew that answer? By reading this here blog. Take THAT, legitimate news sources.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under celebrities, movies, music, news, politics, pop culture, sex, sports, TV, weddings

and this is just the beginning…

Readers, your favorite multiracial blogger (Kathleen) is on her way to Denver today, while I get to sit in bo-ring Washington DC and watch the action from afar. Sigh.

Looks like things are already off to a heated start in my beloved hometown. Take a look at this Fox News video, courtesy of Wonkette, which may be the greatest news clip in the history of the news:

Did you notice Griff stumbling backwards at the beginning of the clip? How about when he said “We got ahead of this marching…er, thing…”? And Griff’s general inability to get any sort of noteworthy information out of the crowd, because they all hate America and don’t believe in freedom of speech? Perhaps my favorite part is the title of this YouTube clip: “Anti-War Protesters Meance Intrepid Fox News Reporter!” Nice spelling, Fox fans. And intrepid? Really? For entering a crowd of stoned peace-loving college students and shouting “What’s your name?!” at them?

It’s going to be a fun week.

[Posted by Mallory]

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joe biden is our vp candidate!

He looks so vice presidential! Good choice, B. OBAMA/BIDEN 2008!

Here is the WaPo story.

And here they are, looking at hope and change on the horizon.

And again, sharing a laugh.  Look at them–they are adorable.  ADORABLE.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under crushes, history, news, politics, random, the hill

kids will google the weirdest things!

One of the nerdier aspects of having a blog is that you can see which search terms people used to stumble across it. These, as you can imagine, are often hysterical and probably a little too entertaining. Here are a few from the past couple of days with my comments and best guess as to what it pulled up next to it. Please note the spelling and grammar.

“tru blood cellular specialist” Tru without the e? Gangsta. Click here.

“sucking katy perry’s boobies” I mean really, who hasn’t Googled this? Click here.

“silly old man” This can only mean one thing. John McCain. Click here, here, here, here or here.

“what does the olypic maskots look like” Answer: Pokemon. And based on the spelling, I’m guess the user is familiar with Pokemon. Click here.

“kevin bacon speedos” Rawr. Wouldn’t it be great if he had his own line of Speedos? Click here.

“super dance youtube sexxy” Uhhh… click here?

Oh, the things people will Google. I hope we don’t disappoint.

Still waiting on that Obama VP decision. Last minute guesses? I’m leaning towards Rep. Chet Edwards or Joe Biden… text me already, B!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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john mccain loses the numbers game.

Oh Johnny. It was only a simple question. Politico reporters Jonathan Martin and Mike Allen asked how many houses you have. McCain’s answer is priceless.

“I think — I’ll have my staff get to you. It’s condominiums where — I’ll have them get to you.”

What was that, buddy? You don’t know how many houses you and Cindy own? Well that can’t be good. Now I’m not good at math, but I’m pretty sure I can answer that question for myself. (Um, zero. Oh the joys of living in your parents’ house.)

Okay, so he doesn’t know how many houses he has, but here are some other basic addition questions that I hope John can answer without needing his staff to bail him out:

  • How old are you?
  • How many children do you have?
  • How many days are in a week?
  • How many states are in the union?

Hopefully those are elementary, my dear Watson.

So what did B have to say about the whole thing?

“If you don’t know how many houses you have, then it’s not surprising that you might think the economy is fundamentally strong.”

Zing! Well put. Most of us, John, can count our houses on one hand. Well, one finger. Your choice which finger you use when counting.

Politico did some digging around (apparently the staff didn’t get to them on that?) and discovered the number is at least eight. Johnny obviously wouldn’t be able to handle adding one more (say, the White House). So let’s do Senator John McCain a huuuuuge favor and make sure we don’t rock the boat by changing the number from at least eight to at least nine. It’s the kind thing to do.

And on a sidenote: Barack, I’ve been clinging to my cell phone for dear life waiting for that text message. Please, just let me know!

Update: WashPo does a McCain house(s) tour. Check it out. It’s like MTV Cribs.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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gwen birthed zuma nesta rock rossdale.

Another celebrity baby is born, another crazy name. Yawn. Kidddddddding. Kind of. Another boy for Gwen Stefani! World, get ready for Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale. Interesting choice. But I do have to say that Gwen and Gavin sure know how to ensure their kids are badass. Rock as your middle name? Rock on.

UPDATE:  Read about how the name was chosen here.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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i now kinda like billy mays.

Billy Mays, the Oxi Clean and everything else you never realized that you needed guy, sympathizes with us non-infomercial making simpletons who don’t like to be yelled at. Mays is recovering from hip surgery right now, so he’s been watching a lot of TV. Here is what he said to my beloved Washington Post:

“If I see myself one more time today,” he groans, sounding genuinely weary, “I’m going to pull my hair out.”

I was sick all last week. I hear ya, buddy.

“People used to tell him, ‘Billy, you’ve got to come off the gas a little, there’s no need to shout,’ ” says Anthony Sullivan, a friend, fellow pitchman and owner of a production company where Mays has shot commercials. “He’d say ‘No problem,’ but he couldn’t stop. He has one speed, 100 miles an hour — take it or leave it.”

But after reading this article, Billy, I’ll take it. And even though he sounds like he’s been huffing Oxi Clean for too long, I find him way less grating now than I did before. Strange.

I don’t endorse Billy for Prez, but I would give him a veep nod. I can see him being fierce in foreign policy negotiations.

Teehee:

[Posted by Kathleen]

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could we maybe get more dessert?

Kids, it’s time for a Hump Day Cry Face (one that’s actually on time, hooray!). I’d like to dedicate this particular photo to the cry facer in the middle, who just moved to South Korea:

Godspeed, Alicia. Bring me back a Hello Kitty cellphone charm.

[Posted by Mallory]

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guess what copper ate this time?

Well he didn’t exactly eat something…yet. A while back, I wrote a post about doggy Prozac and other such things, and in the post I mentioned that my beloved nutso dog Copper would probably be a candidate for some sort of anxiety pill. My mom took him to the vet the other day, and turns out, HE IS. The vet wants to put him on doggy Prozac, but naturally my anti-pill father won’t allow it. My conversation with my mom went a little like this:

Me: Prozac?! No! Didn’t you read my scathing post about doggy drugs?

Mom: Uh, no…

Me: Well, I don’t think Copper should go on drugs. It might make him…boring!

Mom: You’re on Prozac; are you boring?

Me: Point taken.

Mom: Think of it, he could be a new man!

Ugh. I really hope my dog doesn’t have to go on anti-anxiety medicine, but I’ll keep you posted.

[Posted by Mallory]

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changing the game of clue: whodunnit?!

Due to my post-college depression, I don’t like change. Except when it comes with a healthy dose of hope and a large helping of Barack Obama. Haha. But you know what I mean. I feel myself especially threatened emotionally when staples from my younger years are changed. When I learned that Hasbro is totally changing the game of Clue, I immediately found myself drowning my sorrows in a box of Cheez-Its while whining “I’m so olddddddd” to my poor dog. I not crazy, I swear.

Clue is very near and dear to my heart! It was one of the few board games that I could actually win as a child. Monopoly taught me at a young age that I was miserable at math and business, but Clue, ah Clue– Clue made me feel as if I could one day work for the C.I.A. I was just THAT GOOD at finding out who killed Mr. Boddy in what room with what weapon.

According to the AP, the new Clue is updated to fit in with “tabloid culture”. I love me some tabloids, but geeez louise, keep it out of my board games.

The six characters’ last names remain the same, but their first names and bios have been updated. For example, Miss Scarlet is now Kasandra Scarlet, a famous actress often featured in tabloids. And Mr. Green is now Jacob Green, an African-American “with all the ins.”

HAHA oh man. “With all the ins”. What does that possibly mean? Hmmm. I wonder if he makes his final accusations in ebonics? One of my favorites, Colonel Mustard is now Jack Mustard, an ex-football player. Professor Plum is now a video game designer. I’m not making that up. How are we supposed to feel smart playing this game if our characters have gotten dumber?! And here is the greatest part of all, each character now has a special power to help them solve clues. LIke superhero powers? WHAT ABOUT MY SHARP AND NIMBLE MIND?! Ahh this is too much to handle. But wait, there’s more. No more revolver, lead pipe or wrench–instead we have a dumbbell, trophy or poison. Poison? Ehh, alright. Giving us Chuck Norris’ right leg would have been more practical than a dumbbell. Now there’s a weapon.

Clue has even gotten nouveau riche on us. There’s now a spa, theater and a guest house. Mr. Boddy’s classy, beautiful mansion wasn’t good enough. They made it a McMansion!

They are taking the original Clue off the shelves this fall. Go get it now, or forever be burdened with this travesty.

RIP Colonel Mustard. You will be missed. Here he is, in all his glory.

Rawr.

I can think of only one positive thing to say about this whole ordeal. Perhaps with this new version Miss Scarlett will finally be the slootbag we all knew she was/wanted her to be. Perhaps.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under news, pop culture, post-college depression, random, RIP