These toilets look a little fishy.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Category Archives: definitely not politics
just six words and a picture.
Filed under animals, definitely not politics, humor, pop culture, random, six word memoirs
youtube clip of today: electric stimulus.
This is some of the craziest shit I have ever seen on the internet. So it’s slow in the beginning, but hold on because things get wild after the one minute mark. I am speechless. Is this madness or genius? Is it noise or music? AHHHHH. My brain is fried.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, music, pop culture, random, technology, the arts, Uncategorized, YouTube
i’m legit terrified of spiders now.
So my friends all know that I’m nature girl–yeah, it’s weird. My envrionmentally friendly mom put me in a lot of nature classes growing up. What of it? NATUUUUUUUUUURE! GOULET!
Knowing that I LOVE nature, imagine my reaction when I saw this headline, and this picture:
Giant spider snapped eating bird in backyard near Cairns
Yup. I freaked the eff out. This will no doubt appear in my nightmares.
Despite my fear of spiders, I went to a school where the mascot was a spider. SPIDERS EVERYWHERE ON EVERYTHING. AHHH. Yes, I am a proud Richmond Spider. And devastated that I will not be able to make it to Homecoming this weekend. Miss me. GO SPIDERS! (But only the nice ones. That go to Richmond.)
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, blogging, definitely not politics, news, post-college depression, random, sports
youtube clip of today: segway chimp.
Watch as much of this as you can handle– Japanese television is wacky. I wish I knew what was going on, but somehow not knowing makes it even funnier.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, definitely not politics, humor, pop culture, random, TV, YouTube
some humor for your hump day.
Okay, okay. So it’s no Hump Day Cry Face. But this video should make you feel a leeeeeeetle better.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
It gets better each time. I love the “Oh God. NO NO NO!” Thanks, Collegehumor.com. Even though I’m no longer in college, my humor has not matured.
If that video didn’t help you out and you’re still Cranky McCrankster, have no fear. Just tell people that you are participating in National Grouch Day. Which, according to Sesame Street Magazine, today is.
“A Grouch’s mission in life is to be as miserable and grouchy as possible, and pass that feeling on to everyone else. Only then will a Grouch feel in touch with his or her world and be happy.”
This post is done, OKAY? GO AWAY. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.
I jest.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under definitely not politics, humor, news, pop culture, random, thoughts, weddings, YouTube
kristina and karissa…the new olsens?
Move on over Mary-Kate and Ashley…there are new twins in town and they’re really…orange. And they want to be Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends. Yes, girlfriends is plural. Errr…weird?
Tragically, Hef’s relationship with primary gf Holly Madison is over. She wanted marriage and babies, but he lacked the sperm count. I’m not making that up. He is, after all, older than John McCain. He’s 82. Wowie.
So, obviously heartbroken that Holly has moved on to more fertile pastures, Hef has been babysitting hanging out with the 19-year-old twins. I mean, maybe he just wants to be a grandfatherly figure in their lives? No. How does he feel about them? Does he, ya know, like LIKE them? Like passing-notes-check-yes-or-no like them?
“They very much want to be girlfriends and now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends.”
Ahh, true love.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under babies, celebrities, definitely not politics, humor, news, pop culture, random, sex, TV
listen up dudes: coca-cola kills sperm.
No, this is not something I overheard at a table of 8th graders. (Do I even know any 8th graders?) This is legitimate, scientific fact. Deborah Anderson of Boston University Medical Center and her colleagues discovered that Coca-Cola makes the defenseless little spermies explode. Seriously.
In honor of their epic discovery, Anderson and her colleagues were awarded an Ig Nobel prize. Not to be confused with the Nobel prize, the Ig Nobel prizes reward research with some snark and humor. So naturally, SWTCTW is impressed.
Because the Reuters news story describes some of the other winners better, here are the best parts:
The Ig Nobel committee made up a “nutrition prize” to go to Massimiliano Zampini of the University of Trento, Italy and Charles Spence of Britain’s Oxford University, who tricked people into thinking they were eating fresh potato chips by playing them loud, crunching sounds when they bit one.
The biology prize goes to a French team that found dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas, while the medicine prize was awarded to a team at Duke University in North Carolina who showed that high-priced placebos work better than cheap fake medicine.
Dorian Raymer of the Scripps Institution in San Diego and a colleague won the physics prize for demonstrating mathematically why hair or a ball of string will inevitably tangle itself in knots.
How smart do you feel, knowing that dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas? I’m feeling good. I also learned from this year’s economics winner that professional lap dancers make more when they’re most fertile. So ladies, take note. More useless knowledge that people spent lots of money on to study:
Past winners include the creator of the plastic pink flamingo, a researcher who recorded a mallard duck sodomizing a dead drake and a doctor who cured hiccups by applying digital rectal massage.
Haha.
I guarantee you that when the big time Nobel prizes are announced, they won’t be nearly as entertaining as the Ig Nobels.
And guys, Coca-Cola has been proven ineffectual as a method of birth control. Don’t get any weird ideas.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, crushes, definitely not politics, history, humor, news, pop culture, random, technology
michele is udderly insane. get it?
Michele Allen was just trying to have a normal Saturday night. So she ended up in a cow suit, chasing children, peeing on porches and getting arrested Needless to say, she was schwasted.
(Middletown, OH) — Saturday night, people in the 3100 block of Wilbraham Road called police to report a woman wearing a cow costume was chasing kids, and blocking traffic. Michele Allen also allegedly urinated on the porch of one neighbor.
When officers arrived, they told her to go home. But later that night, they found her again, in the 2400 block of Verity, standing in traffic. This time, officers say, Allen smelled of alcohol and swore at them.
She was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.
Allen plead guilty, Monday morning, in Middletown Municipal Court, and sentenced to a month in jail.
This is a true story. Apparently, she showed up to the hearing still in costume. Haha!
Many questions come up when one thinks about this story. Oddly enough, the first thing that came to my mind was how did she pee? From the udders? Or did she pop a squat and break character? DC correspondent Chris raised a couple of other good questions. Was she drunk before she put on the cow costume? Or did she get drunk and then decide to frolic about in a cow costume?
I question her judgment either way.
Silly Michele. If you had only waited until Halloween, you probably could have gotten through the night at least without being arrested. Hell, scaring children in a cow costume while drunk and peeing on buildings that don’t belong to you might even be considered normal–at least on a college campus.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under adventures, blogging, definitely not politics, fashion, humor, news, pop culture, random
i’d kill for bigger boobs, mom.
Here’s a good story for you. Eighteen year old Nikita Lee Weis wanted to kill his mother. Why? So he could sell her stuff, and get the money to buy his girlfriend bigger boobs, duh. Awwww! How selfless of him! His mother, Hyun Weis, was attacked with a baseball bat in her house on Thursday. She spent one night in the hospital, but she’s okay. But the police have arrested Nikita, the two kids he hired and his flat-chested girlfriend Sophia Nicole Alsept on suspicion of conspiracy to commit first degree murder.
So Nikita is a boobs man?
Really though, let’s take a second to acknowledge the absurdity of this. This kid wants his girlfriend’s rack to be bigger badly enough that he would kill his mother? Back in the day, when I used to say that I’d kill for bigger boobs, I didn’t mean it. It was HYPERBOLE. And hello, Sophia? If that man buys your tatas he’s going to think that he owns them. Girrrrrrrrl that’s not good. Especially if he kills his mama over them. Just saying…
Children these days. Geeeeeez.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under blogging, definitely not politics, family, news, pop culture, random
it’s talk like a pirate day!
Ahoy mateys! Avast! Today, September 19, is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. (For the official Web site, click here.) Though not a Federal holiday, today is special in the salty hearts of many. Arrrrrrr ye ready fer it? First, go here to get your new pirate name. And now, here are some pirate jokes, compliments of piratejokes.net.
Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?A: Because they can spend years at C!Q: What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?A: A sunken chest with no booty
Haha. Shiver me timbers, those are bad! But in that awesomely bad way. Right?
So have a Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, me hearties. Here’s some lingo for you. Easy on the pillaging!
RARRRRR!
[Posted by Kathleen aka Cap’n Ramona Knockboots]
Filed under definitely not politics, humor, news, pop culture, random, Uncategorized
six words to change the world. 