Category Archives: celebrities

batman to sue batman. confusion ensues.

Holy identity theft, Batman!  The mayor of Batman, Turkey, Hüseyin Kalkan, is going to sue Christopher Nolan– director of The Dark Knight (Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeath! Wahhhh!).  The reason?  Over use of the name, Batman.  No, seriously?  Can someone please tell Mayor Kalkan that Batman has been around since the 1930s?  So suing the director of the most recent film…not that logical.  Thanks.  But whatever.  Could this story get any more absurd?

Kalkan also blames a series of unsolved murders and a high female suicide rate on the psychological impact suffered by the town after being placed under the spotlight by Nolan’s film. In addition, Batman expats living abroad have experienced legal issues when trying to use the name to set up businesses, he claims.

Yup. It just did.  You know, maybe the Turks should stop naming their cities after OUR superheroes.  Yes, I’m talking about you Wonderwoman, Turkey and Aquaman, Turkey.  I jest, I jest.

I think the real problem is that the city of Batman NEEDS a Batman to solve its problems.  Suing Batman is not the way to get on his good side, Mayor!  You’ll never get a Bat Signal.  Or, call me crazy here…but instead of suing a major movie studio that will probably win the case, you should put your city’s funds towards crime prevention…

What are your thoughts?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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i was starting to like her…

I was sort of starting to like Lindsay Lohan again. I obviously loved her in that Parent Trap remake and Mean Girls and the awkward movie about the living doll with Tyra Banks, but then she got all crazy and unlovable. But LiLo has recently been back with a guest spot on Ugly Betty. (I, by the way, love Ugly Betty. Daniel and Betty are so fucking cute and Amanda and Mark might be my favorite girl-plus-gay-guy couple ever.) Miss Lohan was actually pretty good in the few episodes she was in. Sure, you HATED her character by the end, but she seemed to sort of have a sense of humor about the role, down to some jokes about rehab. 

And then Lindsay had to go on the teevee and do this (watch until about 21 seconds in, then go scream into a pillow):

Um, REALLY? 

UPDATE: Reader B-lo made this point in the comments:

“I don’t know–it’s definitely garbled right when she allegedly said “colored”. Kinda sounds like a chop job to me. Why would that be the only word in the whole interview that isn’t completely clear?”

I listened to the clip a few times before posting it because I was skeptical, but I was pretty convinced that she said “colored.” What do you guys think?

[Posted by Mallory]

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mariah carey is practically a nun.

Oh huge news!  Mariah Carey has spoken out about her decision to abstain from sex with husband Nick Cannon until marriage.

“It’s not that we had NO intimacy, we just didn’t have complete intimacy. It’s just me, and my feelings.
I definitely don’t want to push it on anybody else. But we both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married. And it was, and it still is.”

Aww, cute.  Wait a second… didn’t they get married after just two months of dating?

Wow, those two months must have been really hard for them.  Celebrities are so funny!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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quirky news for a sunday afternoon.

I’m on a blogging rampage.  Here’s the weird stuff I’ve found on Al Gore’s invention today…

  • Let’s talk about squirrels.  Rats with fluffy tails.  True story: I was once attacked my squirrels by the Vietnam Memorial in DC.  They wanted our snack foods and opened our backpacks.  It was terrifying.  Anyway, the science wonder children at UC Davis have found the solution to their squirrel overpopulation problem– birth control for squirrels.  It’s true.

    “This new birth control method may potentially help control squirrels or other species, such as white tailed deer,” said Sara Krause, a doctoral student in ecology who designed the plan.

    “If we can test a birth control method and find it safe and effective, there’s a possibility of it being a breakthrough method in both urban and suburban areas,” she said.

    I’m sure the Christians would rather they train the squirrels about natural family planning.

  • On to the Big O.  Nope not that kind. (Geeeeeez.  Parents read this blog!)  No, not Obama. (Good guess though.) I’m actually talking about Oprah.  The lady’s got it going on.  There are talks that O might not renew her talk show in 2011!  THE HORROR.  That gives us just three short years left with her.  TiVO that shiz now, people.  Or don’t, because it will run more in syndication than the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  Oprah’s getting her own TV network.  Boringly called the Oprah Winfrey Network, or hilariously and appropriately nicknamed, OWN.  Oprah owns your soul.  One might go so far as to say she PWNS you.
  • This is a good one!  There was a brawl in Jerusalem today.  Sadly, that alone means nothing.  But the devil is in the details.  IT WAS BETWEEN MONKS.  (Get it?  Devil in the details?  Monks? Religion?  Uhh…) Yes, monks.  Rival monks!  The Armenian monks and the Greek monks.  This is better than West Side Story. Snap, snap, snap.  The cops had to come break it up!  Apparently these fights happen a lot.  Oh, and when you go to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, make sure you wear your neutral gang colors.  FYI the Armenians wear pink and red and the Greeks wear black.  From the AP:

    The brawling began during a procession of Armenian clergymen commemorating the 4th-century discovery of the cross believed to have been used to crucify Jesus.

    The Greeks objected to the march without one of their monks present, fearing that otherwise, the procession would subvert their own claim to the Edicule — the ancient structure built on what is believed to be the tomb of Jesus — and give the Armenians a claim to the site.

    The Armenians refused, and when they tried to march the Greek Orthodox monks blocked their way, sparking the brawl.

  • Illinois is hoping for a tourism bump due to Barack’s win.  Really?  Well alright.  Walsh, I’ll see you soon.
  • Ohhh the Onion.  Always makes me chuckle.  I can totally picture this story on Fox though.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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nicolas cage is one creepy mofo.

If you know me or if you’ve read the About Us page, you should know that Nicolas Cage is on my list of people/things not to be trusted.  Why don’t I trust Nicolas Cage?  Because he gives me the heebie jeebies and I don’t even know what that means.  He’s a creepmaster creep to the extreme.

Upon learning my feelings for the Cage creep, my cousin Sean (heyyyyy cousin!) validated my sentiments by showing me one of the funniest youtube clips I have ever seen.  Why did it take me so long to post?  I don’t know.  But watch this, laugh, and then thank me for saving you the money you would have used to rent The Wickerman.  Now, I present to you, The Best Scenes from The Wickerman, featuring Nicolas Cage.

HAHAHAHHAHAHA.  Amazing.

“Killing me won’t bring back your goddamned honey!”

PRICELESS.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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barack’s a mutt, just like me.

In case you didn’t know, Barack Obama is the President Elect! AHHHH.  Anyway, B held his first press conference yesterday to discuss some really important issues…like Malia and Sasha’s new puppy.   Let me just say that I wrote about this awhile ago.  Malia needs a hypoallergenic dog.  The obvious choice here is the Chinese Crested Hairless.  Duh.  Perhaps the Obama family will read my blog post and agree with me. Riiiiight.  But anyway, B made a funny when talking about the dog.

With respect to the dog – this is a major issue. I think it’s generated more interest on our Web site than just about anything. We have two criteria that have to be reconciled. One is that Malia is allergic, so it has to be hypoallergenic. There are a number of breeds that are hypoallergenic. On the other hand, our preference would be to get a shelter dog but obviously a lot of shelter dogs are mutts, like me.

Nothing has ever made me happier.  Because, like President Elect Obama, I am a mutt as well.  But it’s not just about the identity politics.  This comment is exactly what America needs. A little bit of humor.  What I’m saying is lighten up, ya’ll.  Making lighthearted jokes is the best way to disarm the skeptics.

But back to the whole puppy thing.  I read an article on CNN that chronicles White House pets over the years.  Malia and Sasha should have aimed a little higher.  I mean, Calvin Coolidge had a pygmy hippopotamus named Billy.  True story.  Herbert Hoover’s son had a pair of gators that liked to chill on the White House grounds.  Benjamin Harrison had two opossums.  Sick.  A puppy will be cute though.  Especially if it’s a Chinese Crested.

So it’s obvious I’m on cloud nine.  Is there anything higher than cloud nine?  Because the next topic is about to put me over the edge.

If you read this blog every once in a while, you might know that I am obsessed with the best TV show ever, the West Wing.  During the cold years of the Bush administration, I’ve often pined for the Bartlet administration and all of its players.  Well.  I’m coming as close as I can to my West Wing dream.  Barack Obama has named Illinois Congressman Rahm Emanuel as his Chief of Staff.  Emanuel worked in the Clinton White House with West Wing consultant DeeDee Myers, who served as Clinton’s press secretary.  So CJ Cregg is based off of Myers, and…I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP…JOSH LYMAN IS BASED OFF OF RAHM EMANUEL.  Josh Lyman is coming back to the White House.  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Rahm’s brother is also kind of famous.  Ari Emanuel is the founder of a talent agency and well-known talent agent and is apparently the inspiration for Ari Gold on Entourage.  I know. This is almost too much to handle.

So let’s recap.  Barack is amazing and addresses the race thing perfectly, there’s going to be a perfect puppy in the White House to complement the perfect family, and the West Wing is actually starting to become reality.

This is fantastic.  Now I’ll go back to writing about dumb stuff, I promise.  But I had to get this out.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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walk me down your broken line.

I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but when I’m bored doing work, I tend to spend a lot of time and money on iTunes. I was just suckered into buying like 300 Joshua Radin songs. I really, really love him. If you haven’t heard the song “The Fear You Won’t Fall,” you should probably find it and buy it right now. There’s not a good video of it online, and I refuse to not do it justice.

As a part of my Joshua binge, I Wikipedia-ed him and discovered that he and Zach Braff are good friends. Apparently Zach is kind of the reason he’s famous, because he got one of his songs to be on Scrubs. Isn’t that adorable? Sort of a Ben Affleck/Matt Damon-type story. Here’s a little photo of Joshua:

Another fun and adorable fact is that Joshua Radin played his song “Today” at Ellen and Portia de Rossi’s wedding. Apparently they turned down George Michael and Justine Timberlake and chose Joshua instead. Not to knock Joshua, but I don’t feel like that’s much of a competition when we’re talking about a wedding. “SexyBack” is not really my dream wedding song.

While I’m rambling, how much do you love Ellen? She is GREAT. I love how unabashedly awkward she is. The other day I was doing my laundry and watching her show, and I was literally glued to the television while holding my laundry basket because she was doing a skit where she went out with Paris Hilton and it was just HI-larious. Anyway.

So Joshua Radin. Love him. Here’s the newest song I’m playing on repeat. And the video was directed by Zach Braff:

Also, THE ELECTION IS TWO DAYS AWAY HOLY SHIIIIIIIT!!!

[Posted by Mallory]

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here’s to sweatin’ to the oldies.

Number of times I engaged in a political debate with my sister in the past 24 hours: 3

Number of fun-size Snickers bars currently in my belly: 300

Number of days (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) until Barack Obama is elected as our next president: 4

Number of beers I plan to drink tonight: 17

Number of days until Halloween: 0!!!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, MY LITTLE GHOULS AND GOBLINS!

This evening I will be celebrating by dressing up as the one, the only, Richard Simmons. Think afro, tiny neon shorts, and tall white socks. I will obviously be having sex tonight.

So crack open a ice cold Bud Light and a bag of candy corn, pull something wacky out of your costume box (you have one too, right?), and do the Monster Mash.

Make it a good one! 

[Posted by Mallory]

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snl: ferrell’s dubya endorses fey’s palin.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT.

Really, this is the best SNL has been in years.  And in even better news, my twin, Maya Rudolph, is coming back!

AHHHH.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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palin pals around with democratic donkeys.

And by pals around, I mean wears them around her neck.  I can’t help but wonder if this was part of the $150,000 the RNC (AKA those who donated to the RNC–don’t you feel hoodwinked?) paid for.

The main point of this post was to point out how clueless Palin is.  I mean, the woman is legit wearing a scarf that screams vote Democratic.  (Where can I get me one of those?!)  Buuuut since I have your attention, let’s talk about that $150,000.

So much for being a small town hockey mom, eh?  That’s probably twice as much, if not more, than Joe the fake plumber makes in a year.  That’s more than a college education.  That’s health care for a small business.  That’s a ton of money to spend on clothes.

So I think the argument of Republicans being fiscally conservative is now thrown out the window.  Because, oh girl, some of those clothes…I could have gotten at Forever21 for twenty bucks.  And if I wanted to go “upscale”, I could still find them at Macy’s.  On sale.  Those clothes are pretty basic.  So we all know what the Republicans and Sarah Palin choose to do with their money.  They are not bargain shoppers.  I mean, look at the national debt.

What would you do with $150,000?  Where do your priorities lie?

How dare she talk about relating to Americans struggling to pay their bills and get their kids through school.  How dare she?  Oh doggone it, you betcha that Joe Six Pack doesn’t go on shopping sprees with the RNC’s plastic.

UPDATED:  From Politico, here is Johnny’s defense of the $150,000.

“She needed clothes at the time,” McCain told a group of Florida reporters.

And now, to add on to tragedy that is Sarah Palin, let me just attach a supposed copy of her report card and SAT scores, compliments of one of our DC correspondents.

OUCH.  Baby girl didn’t even break a thousand.

Sorry for ranting a bit.  I’m all fired up.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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