Category Archives: post-college depression

i’m legit terrified of spiders now.

So my friends all know that I’m nature girl–yeah, it’s weird.  My envrionmentally friendly mom put me in a lot of nature classes growing up.  What of it? NATUUUUUUUUUURE!  GOULET!

Knowing that I LOVE nature, imagine my reaction when I saw this headline, and this picture:

Giant spider snapped eating bird in backyard near Cairns

Yup.  I freaked the eff out.  This will no doubt appear in my nightmares.

Despite my fear of spiders, I went to a school where the mascot was a spider.  SPIDERS EVERYWHERE ON EVERYTHING.  AHHH.  Yes, I am a proud Richmond Spider.  And devastated that I will not be able to make it to Homecoming this weekend.  Miss me.  GO SPIDERS!  (But only the nice ones.  That go to Richmond.)

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under animals, blogging, definitely not politics, news, post-college depression, random, sports

in fact we’re slip slidin’ away.

This evening after a day of attempted productivity, I went over to my friend Tamar’s house so that we could both whine about our first-world problems while weeping into a J.Crew catalog. Obviously there were emo songs involved. It was just one of those days…chalk it up to a quarter-life crisis. She taught me that Paul Simon’s “Slip Sliding Away” is an excellent wallow-in-self-pity kind of song:

We were emo for a while tonight then headed off to girl’s night, which is where we drink wine and eat lots of food and watch embarrassing television with a couple of other gals. Pretty standard. Except tonight my friend Jill’s dad was in town, and he was actually a wonderful addition to girl’s night. I love meeting people’s parents. It’s so telling. All of a sudden you’re like “Ahhh so THAT’S why you are the way you are.” In this case, I realized how Jill became such a wonderful, kind, and interesting person. Who likes Thai food and wine.

[Posted by Mallory]

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hump day isn’t just for crying.

On this lovely little October Wednesday, I’d like to share some random thoughts with you. (Don’t worry…cry face is coming.) I haven’t posted in a while either, and it’s partly because my mom was here in DC to visit, and partly because my computer broke. (And I have to go to Arlington to fix it…THE HORROR!)

I had a lovely little weekend with the mother, and we got to do some touristy things and eat a lot and she took me to do this foreign activity — shopping — that we poor grad students (read: irresponsible grad students who’d rather spend their $75 weekly budget on overpriced gin and tonics than clothes) can’t do very often. (Random side note: a kid I don’t know very well who tends to be sort of loud and intense just looked over my shoulder and was like “OOH someone has a WordPress blog!” Which made me self conscious.) (Yes there are too many parentheses in this post.)

Um where was I? Ah yes, random thoughts. I’ve been in a weird mood for the past few days. Alternately introspective in a delightful, happy way and in a depressed, go-home-and-listen-to-Dashboard way.  First of all, I’ve been having lots of political debates with my family. In fact, I’ve argued with every member of my immediate family this week. My mother is still on the fence about the election, due to the fact that she has been brainwashed by my father. My sister is currently being brainwashed by her conservative Kansas friends to be “terrified of Obama.” My father has been palling around with McCain for years, but we recently got in an email debate about abortion, in which I threw out the cliche trump card…”Dad, what if I was raped and got pregnant?”

Things have been getting kind of heated, which has been giving me agida. Unfortunately, I often get so angry that I can’t articulate coherent thoughts. All I want to scream is “HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE RELATED TO ME?! JUMP IN THE TANK WITH ME AND BARACK!” and then make them carve Barack pumpkins while looking at pictures of Sasha and Malia.

Sigh. Let’s just say I had to wear my flannel nightgown last night.

I’ve also had lots of emo thoughts about some of the relationships in my life. I won’t get into the nitty gritty details, but I’ve come to a realization about what I value in a person. Above all, I value the following two qualities: authenticity and wackiness. I can’t stand people who are inauthentic, in all the forms that takes. And it’s not to say that I’m perfectly honest and perfectly myself 100% of the time, but I’d like to think that my core personality is fixed, and that I don’t radically change who I am based on who I’m around. Too many people do that. I hate that.

And then there’s wackiness. If you’re authentic and not wacky, I’ll probably respect you, but I won’t want to hang out with you. It’s like when people say “Well, so-and-so’s just really nice.” To which I respond, “Nice doesn’t cut it. Nice is fine. But nice is boring. I don’t want to hang out with nice.” If you’re not just a leeeetle wacky, it’s not worth it. Having friends with a little wacky in them is what makes it possible for me to still have friends even though I sometimes wear flannel nightgowns and say weird things and dance really awkwardly and am kind of a nerd.

If you’re wacky, authentic, and in the tank for Barack, I totally love you right now. Bring your flannel nightgown over. We’ll drink red wine and watch the Food Network and maybe have a dance party to old Aaliyah songs. It will be great.

If you’re not into any of the above maybe just look at the picture of Pam and Dwight and Jim until you’re so happy you almost cry. Even unauthentic boring people who love McCain deserve to feel happy once in a while.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under cry face, dance, family, music, politics, post-college depression, thoughts, TV

tell me are you that somebody?

Things that are not normal: eating a bean burrito and drinking a margarita by yourself while watching The Princess Diaries, by way of a pregame. Is this what being an adult is? Being forced to drink alone if your roommate is out of town and you happen to want to have a drink before you go out? (And your sister teased you with the idea of a margarita and you gave in?) I just choked on my margarita, by the way. 

I guess for the beginning of the night, it’s just me, my marg, and The Kooks. I don’t like this very much. My goal was to be UBER productive this weekend and not go out much at all. Except I already went out last night, and now, after being in the library all day, I am desperate for human contact. Plus, my friends organized a bar crawl. My life is so hard. 

Other random thoughts brought on by three sips of a strong drink on an empty-ish stomach: 

  • I love the bus.
  • I love Georgetown even more. It may be the greatest place on earth. It’s beautiful, has a cool history, and feels neighborhood-y, but it’s right in a really big, wonderful city.
  • The most attractive people in the world are part Asian.
  • Today I walked by what appeared to be a Fraturday, with shirtless dudes getting hammered and singing “Heyyyy, hey baby (hoo, ha!) I wanna knooooow will you be my girl” and I nearly cried because I’m not exactly allowed to do stuff like that anymore.
  • You can’t buy the Aaliyah song “Are You That Somebody?” on iTunes! (I think I still know EVERY word to that song.)
  • I am babysitting two birds this weekend. Isn’t that strange?
Now just watch the Aaliyah video and stop judging me. Take a shot of tequila or something. And try to figure out why someone thought it was a good idea to put the sound of a baby crying in the background of this song.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, blogging, drinks, food, music, post-college depression, random, YouTube

oh jesus, i am andy bernard.

So, what did you do late Thursday night? Put your passed out little Asian friend to bed at 8:30 p.m. and then stay up watching a cappella videos on YouTube? Oh and was your YouTube somehow in Spanish? That is so weird, because ME TOO!

Um, yeah. Maybe I’m becoming one of those creepy a cappella fanatics. Whatever, I just wrote a cover letter and writing a cover letter will drive a person to extremes like a cappella. My Upper East Side correspondent recommended that I listen to Straight No Chaser’s “Insomniac,” so obviously I listened to it on repeat for like a half hour. I will post a “video” that is really just audio with a TERRIBLE comic sans font title across the screen. Forgive me for that, but the audio is better than in other videos, and please know that I. HATE. COMIC. SANS.

Here’s another video of SNC (yeah, I’m using a cappella acronyms, OKAY?) singing Toto’s “Africa”:

I’ve added a new requirement for my future husband. Gentlemen: if any of you are tall and bearded and can cook, play the guitar, and sing, please email sixwordstochangetheworld@gmail.com, care of Mallory.

Finally, here’s Carrie Underwood singing the only other song I’ve ever truly loved in a cappella version. I couldn’t find an a cappella version on YouTube.

And yes, I know that 75% of you probably didn’t watch those videos, but posting them was more fun than editing my cover letter.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under crushes, music, post-college depression, random, YouTube

buy me a ticket to europe.

Here is what I have been doing for the past few hours: eating my weight in goat cheese, bread, and pizza; watching trashy TV shows like America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway (totally digging Kenley again, by the way); drinking red wine with my girlfriends; and realizing as I do every day that DC is a pretty baller place to live. Randomly, I just ran into my friend Camille and her new gentleman friend on my street corner, which was wonderful and serendipitous, and in a mere three hours my favorite Asian in the world will be arriving on my doorstep like a gift from God. Basically, I’m pretty damn happy right now. 

Here is what I have been doing for the past three weeks: ignoring the Hump Day Cry Face. See, I started to think that people didn’t really care anymore. And maybe most of you are saying, “Um what is the Hump Day Cry Face and why should we care?” And that’s fine. But two of you — Kathleen and my dear friend Jed — truly care about the good ol’ CF, and I cannot just let it go. (It’s like this voicemail message my family has had for over a decade: it’s me singing a little ditty I made up all by myself when I was like twelve, and most of our friends are so over the message and want us to change it, but every so often someone will call and tell us that the voicemail made their day. So we kept it, because making someone’s day every few months is totally worth it. Cry Face is worth it too.) 

Ahem. Without further ado (or babbling), and in honor of Camille, Walsh, and Western Europe…

And yes, in that third photo, we ARE on top of the Eiffel Tower, thank you for asking.

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, cry face, drinks, family, fashion, food, humor, post-college depression

so begins my quarter life crisis.

So yesterday I’m just driving along, listening to my beloved iPod, when “Hand In My Pocket” by my beloved Alanis comes on.  This time, however, was different from the 500,000 other times I listened to it.  I still sang poorly and confused the verses, but this time the song really resonated with me.  I mean REALLY resonated.  So I put that shiz on repeat.  Alanis and her harmonica were slaying me.  Then it hit me. Uh oh.  I am now an angsty 20-something and Alanis’ music actually applies to me.  (And everyone else, but you know what I mean.)

I began to evaluate my life.  I’m very happy, yet emo at the same time.  I’m with someone who finds my jokes tolerable (I’m funnnnny!), I’m working on a campaign (trying to be an agent of change and save the world) and living at home (if you live at home post-college, there is no explanation needed), going to South America post Election Day (backpacking around in hopes of finding some adventure), and hopefully going to grad school next fall (read: I’m not entirely sure what I want to do in life other than see the world and blog.  But this will buy me some more time.  Kidding…kind of.)

But who cares? No big deal. I want mooooooooooooooooooooooooooore.

That being said, I come up with a new plan every day.  Two days ago, I decided I wanted to become an alpaca farmer.  Seriously.  I saw some Alpacas at a local fair and fell in love with the little bucktoothed buggers.  They’re completely heinous and totally hilarious.  What can I say? I have an affinity for inner beauty.  I took a picture of one.  He is my new muse:

Cute, right?

I’m all over the place.  Just tonight I have looked at jobs with National Geographic, HuffingtonPost, and political consulting firms.  Three weeks ago I envisioned myself moving to Seattle.  Who knows?  Maybe tomorrow I’ll decide to go to med school.  Or maybe I can just get a pair of scrubs and pretend…

While this is definitely my quarter life crisis, I don’t think it’s unhealthy.  I’m in no real hurry.  I am, in fact, only 22–although I feel like a dinosaur when I get Facebooked by people born in the 1990s.  I’ve still got a lot of questions that need to be answered.  Like, what is a fire, and why does it…what’s the word…burrrrrrrrrrrrn. (That’s two Little Mermaid references in one post. Heyyyyo.)

When I do settle down, I’ll be ready for it.  And like I said before, I’m happy right now.  I’d try and describe how I feel some more (it’s half my blog I can talk about feelings all I want!), but hey, Alanis puts it best.

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything’s just fine fine fine
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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Filed under blogging, music, pop culture, post-college depression, random, thoughts, Uncategorized, YouTube

i hate you, shannon cross. (obviously.)

So I decided I’d be ambitious today and get the Hump Day Cry Face up at a decent hour so that people (okay, it was like one person) stop harassing me about it. As I scanned my Cry Face photos on the new Facebook (which I HATE, by the way. How could you do this to us, Mark?!!), I thought to myself, “Hmmm, which friend do I want to embarrass today? And then I realized I have yet to embarrass my best friend from home, one Shannon “Marie” Cross. Here goes:

Ha ha, doesn’t she look like a guppy?

[Posted by Mallory]

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hey, let’s shut the club down.

To divert our collective FURY about Sarah Palin, let’s listen to a wonderful little R&B ditty that works in some “My Girl” beats. I’m half embarrassed that I love this song, but I also really enjoy listening to it every Friday as I plot the bad decisions I’ll make later that night:

Party like a rockstar, indeed. Happy Friday!

[Posted by Mallory]

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Filed under adventures, dance, music, pop culture, post-college depression, YouTube

it can’t all be wedding cake.

Do you sometimes watch Spoon videos on YouTube because you’re too full of Chinese food and too unmotivated to do your homework?

Yeah, me too.

[Posted by Mallory]

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