
I just love this guy:
“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” [Kurt Vonnegut]
[Posted by Mallory]

I just love this guy:
“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” [Kurt Vonnegut]
[Posted by Mallory]

That is what my mother said to me this morning when I told her that Kathleen and I started a blog. The convo went a little something like this:
Me: “So, Mom, Kathleen and I started a blog.”
Mom [in hushed, dramatic voice]: “Oh Mal, I don’t like blogs.”
Me: “Sigh.”
Mom: “Can’t weird people, like, find you and get attached to you?”
Me: “Well, yes, but only if they find the article where I posted my social security number and home address.”
Mom: “Oh okay FINE.”
Me [in a display of maturity]: “Well, I’m just not going to tell you the name of it, then, so you can’t find it.”
Mom: “Is there something bad on it?!”
Me: “Yes, Mom. We’re running an amateur kiddie porn site. NO! We’re just writing about…you know, whatever we want to write about.”
Then I told her a little about the McCunt post, and the hilarious video to go along with it, and she laughed and said she wanted to read the blog. I think we’ve got a convert.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under blogging
Eek. This is not a joke.
It might be slightly painful, but stick it out. If only to hear the ridiculous comments the hosts make. Ex- “I didn’t realize plastic could look that good!” Also, it’s one of the most watched videos online right now.
And by the way, this competition was totally rigged. If I were the other dancers I’d go all Luke Jedi knight and use the force on their asses.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under definitely not politics, random, YouTube

May I rant?
Apparently, while Pierogi Zbylut was collecting acceptances to every elite school in the country, said elite schools were busy rejecting the rest of the qualified students out there, those students with names containing less z’s. One of the elementary school friends from the Rockies game has a little sister who’s headed off to college next year, and this girl’s college-rejection story makes me truly furious with the way our country deals with college admission. My friend’s sister — let’s call her Emily — was rejected from Dartmouth. Nothing shocking on its own; I’m among the ranks of prospective Ivy Leaguers who was flat-out rejected from the Big Green. Emily, however, was the the valedictorian of her high school (one of those truly hard high schools that have difficult admissions processes all their own), was a successful two-sport athlete who was being recruited by Dartmouth, was involved in a million activities, AND had a father, sister, and several cousins whose brains were filled with knowledge in Hanover, New Hampshire. Now I understand as much as anyone that the college admissions process is a crapshoot, and that there are a ton of factors that go into it, but SERIOUSLY? If a girl like that isn’t a shoe-in, something’s wrong. Maybe Pierogi can pass his Dartmouth acceptance on to Emily, since he won’t be needing it at Haaahvahd.
For a speech class I took a couple of years ago, I spoke about kids growing up too fast (taking full-time language classes at age four, for instance), and I feel like the college admissions process is just part of the screwed up way we are forcing kids these days to do everything and be perfect. A high school student shouldn’t have to spend all of her free time studying for AP tests, captaining a sports team, working on a student government campaign, volunteering with refugees, and curing cancer just to get into college. Give ’em some time to breathe, America.
And to the Emily’s of the world: it’s their loss. Anyway, I hear New Hampshire’s like really, really cold.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under post-college depression, random
I’ve got one thing to say to this guy: FREAK.
He moved from Poland just 5 years ago. But whatever, kid. You might have gotten into the entire Ivy League and a million other good schools (for sure the University of Richmond, heyyyyy) but this doesn’t change the fact that your name (Lukasz Zbylut) is going to get butchered by every professor you meet- just like the rest of us!
I also suffer from post-college depression and am taking it out on this defenseless, but brilliant, child. Do not judge me.
PS- He chose Harvard.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under crushes, post-college depression, random
Oregonian (Oregonite? Oregonese?) woman Jen Moss is pissed because people just don’t understand her need to bicycle around topless and are prohibiting her from riding in the Fourth of July parade. According to the AP, Moss is known for riding her bike “free and independent of all clothing but a hemp G-string”. In fact, she’s known as “The Naked Lady”.
I get the naked part (let the girls get some air), but the hemp G-string sounds questionable at best. You know, back in the day aka 8th grade, I was quite good at making hemp necklaces with cool beads and whatnot. I gave them as gifts to my friends. Maybe now since our tastes have matured, I can make them all hemp G-strings with cute little beads! AHHH! But back to business.
The Ashland Chamber of Commerce is in a battle right now over this. In Moss’ application she said she wants to lead a group of rollerbladers in her hemp booty floss, “blowing a conch shell.” Blowing what wearing what? Errr… Whatev, she sounds like an inspirational leader (those rollerbladers are bound to follow her, along with every creepy man within 50 miles) and America is all about leadership!
Clearly she is a great patriot and loves America. Come on people, it’s the Fourth of July. It’s not like your children haven’t seen boobs before. Let Jen parade!
[Posted by Kathleen]
Today begins Six Words To Change the World’s first weekly feature: the Hump Day Cry Face. Nothing helps inch you a little closer to the weekend like a good Cry Face. In front of Notre Dame. Enjoy.
[Posted by Mallory]
Filed under cry face

So last night I went out with two of my friends from elementary school (look at the longevity there). We went to a Rockies game, which is always a good time, and then stopped by a bar to see another friend’s band play. Various events in the night got me slightly freaked out about this whole being-an-adult thing (that is, if you consider living at home, temping as a receptionist, and still making bad decisions with alarming frequency being an adult). For starters, at the baseball game we sat in front of these obnoxious kids (including boys who were wearing strangely short shorts) who felt the need to comment on every aspect of the game, and loudly say things like “Should we take the shooters now?” I was blissfully happy eating my burrito, drinking my Coors Light, and staring at the mountains, so I was more entertained than annoyed by these strangers, but from an objective perspective, I could see that they were irritating as hell. My friends and I joked about this and laughed at the antics of these young hooligans, and then I realized…that was me. And I’m not talking that was me like waaay back in college a month ago, but that was me approximately a week ago, at a different Rockies game. People like that aren’t exactly loved by the rest of the population. How long can I get away with shit like this?
After it was clear that the Rockies were going to win (take THAT, Cleveland), we went to the bar to watch my friend’s band play. The band turned out to be awesome, and it was generally a great time. One of the highlights of this little concert was watching the hammered parents of the band members acting like college students, which means they were dancing on tables and making out in corners. This seems to answer the earlier question with a resounding “You can get away with shit like this for a long time! You can get blacked out on a Tuesday and grind up on strangers even when you have children of your own!” And even though I assume, if I’m being honest with myself, that I probably will be one of those parents one day, it still doesn’t seem quite right.
So after watching these drunk adults for a few hours, my elementary school friends left and I decided against my better judgement to stay for a while. After dancing like a hippie to the next band, whose lead singer had one of the greatest Jewfros I’ve ever seen, I started thinking I should go home, and I called a cab. Because my other friends didn’t have important things like filing invoices and answering phones to do the next day, they decided to stay. Which means I had to take a cab home alone. Now, I’m not the type of person who necessarily hates being alone, but I felt self-conscious and pathetic hopping into that yellow sedan all by my lonesome. I knowww that adults do that sometimes — I’ve seen it in the movies — but I didn’t like it.
As much I want to end this bit of rambling with a Carrie Bradshaw-esque conclusion that ties this all together with a neat analogy and an “I couldn’t help but wonder,” (i.e., “And I couldn’t help but wonder…was my fear of being alone in the cab indicative of a larger fear of being alone…forever?), I really don’t know where I’m going with this. I think part of me is still devastated that a night out is no longer a trip to a campus bar where everybody knows your name, you can pay for beer on your meal plan, and you can walk home in five minutes. I’m also not entirely sure what I can do with this borderline-alcoholism that we all pick up in college now that I’m (GASP) not in college. On the weekends, when my drink of choice is still a whiskey coke in shady water bottle form, it’s easier to pretend that nothing’s changed. But this whole “work” thing, this whole “growing up” thing, is really cramping my style. Thank god for grad school.
[Posted by Mallory]
Hooker heels for babies? Ha! What will they think of next? I’m currently trying to think of a play on the phrase “baby mama”, but nothing good comes to mind that doesn’t make me feel pervy and like I need to go to confession for just being a bad person. (Catholic guilt will always get you). I could never put a baby in something slutty, but this soulless, pagan, oh-so-cleverly called Heelarious, company has no problem with it. Here is what they have to say for themselves:
“WARNING: May cause extreme smiling and hysterical laughter when in use (this is completely normal).”
The nerve! Clearly, people are screaming left and right about children being pressured to get sexier at a younger age. Hey Miley, good job fueling that fire! You crazy kid!
I say, what the hell, I could have used the practice. That’s a joke people, but then again, so are these heels and I get that. Calm down and don’t get your diapers in a twist.
[Posted by Kathleen]