Category Archives: pop culture

kristina and karissa…the new olsens?

Move on over Mary-Kate and Ashley…there are new twins in town and they’re really…orange.  And they want to be Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends.  Yes, girlfriends is plural. Errr…weird?

Tragically, Hef’s relationship with primary gf Holly Madison is over.  She wanted marriage and babies, but he lacked the sperm count.  I’m not making that up.  He is, after all, older than John McCain.  He’s 82. Wowie.

So, obviously heartbroken that Holly has moved on to more fertile pastures, Hef has been babysitting hanging out with the 19-year-old twins.  I mean, maybe he just wants to be a grandfatherly figure in their lives?  No.  How does he feel about them?  Does he, ya know, like LIKE them? Like passing-notes-check-yes-or-no like them?

“They very much want to be girlfriends and now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends.”

Ahh, true love.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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mccain sneers “that one”, misquotes TR.

Man, that was boring.  Awkward and uncomfortable jokes by McCain all went flat.  Insulting Tom Brokaw, jokes about hair plugs and balding (was that a swipe at Joe?).  The zingers were mediocre.  Then John McCain has the audacity to call B “that one”. OH NO HE DIDN’T.  I’m sorry, but I prefer audacity to come in the form beautifully bound hardcover book called “The Audacity of Hope”.  Ahem.  Here is the video:

What did he mean by “that one”?  What a demeaning term.  On top of flawed policies and rampant lies, John McCain lacks the manners and professionalism required to be the President of the United States.  Just picture him at the table with leaders from around the world.  Is he going to call someone he disagrees with “that one”?  Or perhaps he’d like to use another one of his favorite words, cunt.  He makes me so mad.

And he messed up a TR quote.  Again, OH NO HE DIDN’T.

“My hero is a guy named Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy Roosevelt used to say walk softly, talk softly, but carry a big stick. Senator Obama likes to talk loudly.”

Ugh.  Get it straight.

And for the love of all things good and pure in this world, Johnny, please stop calling me your friend. I am NOT your friend.  I wouldn’t even be your Facebook friend.

The majority of pundits and polls show that Obama won this debate.  I agree.  He holds the American agenda, and I will be so proud to call him our president.

Also, this is totally unrelated to the debate, but I find it to be an important fact since the candidates’ personalities seem to be on a pedestal in this election. Today, while Joe Biden was at the funeral of his mother-in-law, Sarah Palin was criticizing him on the campaign trail.  She’s a jerk.

Twenty-seven days until this election is ovvvvvah.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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some introspective music for autumn days.

This song is one of the main reasons why I wuv The Shins.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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blog: yes we can (hold babies)

Say it ain’t so Joe, here I go again blogging about other people’s blogs.  (Hardy har har)  As if Saint Barack could not get any more perfect, now you can look at sickeningly adorable pictures of him with non-voters.  That means babies and other mini humans.  Yes, you can.  Yes, you want to.  Yes we can (hold babies).  Love love love.

Make this man president. DO IT.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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bird pulls a “gotcha” on reporter.

Evil Sarah Palin commanded her one of her bird minions to drop some shiz in the mouth of a liberal “gotcha” mainstream media reporter.  Hilarity ensues.

Sarah and her birdie friend:

If I can make a Disney reference, I’m going to…alright?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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listen up dudes: coca-cola kills sperm.

No, this is not something I overheard at a table of 8th graders. (Do I even know any 8th graders?)  This is legitimate, scientific fact.  Deborah Anderson of Boston University Medical Center and her colleagues discovered that Coca-Cola makes the defenseless little spermies explode.  Seriously.

In honor of their epic discovery, Anderson and her colleagues were awarded an Ig Nobel prize.  Not to be confused with the Nobel prize, the Ig Nobel prizes reward research with some snark and humor.  So naturally, SWTCTW is impressed.

Because the Reuters news story describes some of the other winners better, here are the best parts:

The Ig Nobel committee made up a “nutrition prize” to go to Massimiliano Zampini of the University of Trento, Italy and Charles Spence of Britain’s Oxford University, who tricked people into thinking they were eating fresh potato chips by playing them loud, crunching sounds when they bit one.

The biology prize goes to a French team that found dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas, while the medicine prize was awarded to a team at Duke University in North Carolina who showed that high-priced placebos work better than cheap fake medicine.

Dorian Raymer of the Scripps Institution in San Diego and a colleague won the physics prize for demonstrating mathematically why hair or a ball of string will inevitably tangle itself in knots.

How smart do you feel, knowing that dog fleas can jump higher than cat fleas?  I’m feeling good.  I also learned from this year’s economics winner that professional lap dancers make more when they’re most fertile.  So ladies, take note.  More useless knowledge that people spent lots of money on to study:

Past winners include the creator of the plastic pink flamingo, a researcher who recorded a mallard duck sodomizing a dead drake and a doctor who cured hiccups by applying digital rectal massage.

Haha.

I guarantee you that when the big time Nobel prizes are announced, they won’t be nearly as entertaining as the Ig Nobels.

And guys, Coca-Cola has been proven ineffectual as a method of birth control.  Don’t get any weird ideas.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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palin and biden, according to snl.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Tina Fey strikes again.  Happy Sunday.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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the best moment of the debate.

This is the shining moment of the debate.  This is where Biden won it.  He is just so genuine.

I keep thinking about this moment over and over.  And here is what struck me.  Without even meaning to, Biden did something very important for women in this election.  Palin plays the “mom” thing over and over again.  She’s just a hockey mom, she’s got kids, blah blah blah.  She talks about hardships.  These are things that resonate with women.  He showed that these are things that resonate with him as well.  He was a single parent.  He had to be a father, and a mother, at the same time.  So really, what he did, was show that women don’t have to vote for another woman to get someone who understands those experiences.  That’s huge.

And Sarah Palin didn’t even acknowledge what he had said or what he did.  She could have said something nice, but she didn’t.  Heartless.  Mean.  Unqualified.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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live blogging the vice presidential showdown.

9:01 –  Hi Gwen!  Looking foxy in teal.  We get it, we get it.  Let’s just get to it.

9:03 – Ooooh the bail out.  Joe is on message.  YESSSSSS.  I’m mesmerized by the chart at the bottom of the screen.  The positives soared for Sen. Biden.  Oh, here goes Sarah talking about parents at a soccer game. Do you have kids?  I had no idea!  But I thought you were hockey mom?  GET YOUR STORY STRAIGHT, LADY.  Both candidates went to bat for the top of the ticket right away.  Not surprising.

9:08 – She whipped out the maverick card.  “Git down, to gitting business done.”  Ugh.  She threw in the “all due respect” line, which we all means with no respect at all.  I don’t think that inferring Biden’s been in the Senate for too long is a good approach, Sarah.  Have you met John McCain?  And stop trying to steal the term change from the Change Master.

9:14 – She’s not going to answer the questions the way the moderator wants? If I were Gwen, I would have given her an eye roll and snapped my fingers in her face.  Straight talk, Sarah?  Answer the straight questions.  I’ve got a question for you.  Did dinosaurs and humans exist at the same time?  But we digress.

9:17 – Sarah, government isn’t the problem.  YOU are the problem with government.

9:21 – Biden made a funny about the bridge to nowhere!  And a great rebuttal about the health care system.

9:29 – Yawn.  I want to see them take the gloves off.  Maybe I’ll make myself a glass of chocolate milk.

9:30 – Oh goody!  CLIMATE CHANGE.  Well at least she acknowledges that it exists.  Biden corrects his coal gaffe of last week.  Thatta boy, stick it to them.

9:35 – Palin says the word “rape” and the ticker is showing a drop in favorability among women.

9:41 – Biden is hitting this war question out of the park.  I cannot believe that she just called Barack’s plan a “white flag of surrender”.  The fact that both of these candidates have children in the military and in the Middle East is huge.  It prevents cheap shots, for sure.  I’m staring at Palin’s potentially tatooed lip liner.  I’m kind of freaked out.

9:49 – Ever notice that sometimes Sarah Palin sounds like a leprechaun?  Where is she from again?

9:54 – Yawning again.  But wait!  A question about the Bush administration.  STOP GIVING THE CAMERA SEX EYES PALIN.

9:56 – Every time Biden said “George Bush’s”, I chuckled.  It sounded like George Bushish.  Which, in my mind, was twisted to George Bushit.  Teehee.

10:02 – Come on guys, get spicy.  But right now, Biden talking about helping Darfur is really inspiring.  He’s showing that he really knows what he’s talking about with foreign policy.  This guy knows what’s going on.  I wonder if Sarah Palin could point out Darfur on a map?  Stop talking about Alaska.  Nobody cares.

10:07 – My friend just said Palin is really into these “mom pep talks”.  Well put, sir.  Mom pep talks are not what we need though.  We need ideas.  We need someone who understands what’s going on.  Someone that reads the newspaper, perhaps.

10:17 – Defending Dick Cheney is not a strong position for Sarah Palin.

10:21 – Did Biden just choke up a bit while talking about being a single parent?  Awwww!  Make fun of him for running his mouth all you want, but this guy is genuine.

10:24 – Biden just nailed the Maverick thing.  He pointed out everything that John McCain has voted against.  That’s not being a maverick.  And he tied it back to the issues talked about at the kitchen table, just like Palin was talking about.  BRILLIANT.

10:29 – Palin’s closing statements.  Blah blah blah, Ronald Reagan, blah blah blah, her family.

10:31 – Biden reclaims the word “change” for Obama.  I’m feeling good.  God bless America.

10:40 – Naturally I want to call this for Biden.  And I think issues wise, he won.  He was is the better debater.  And I could tell he was holding himself back from the zingers that he’s so good at.  (On Rudy Guiliani: “There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence — a noun, a verb, and 9/11.”) I sort of wish he had let her have it a little bit more.

But here’s the thing about Palin– she didn’t have any egregious gaffes, which is what we were all wishing for.  Except calingl a U.S. General by the wrong name…and some other minor stuff.  Anyway, the standard was so low for her that all she really had to do was give an answer, use folksy language and bat her eyes.  I wonder what would have happened if she had been forced to do more follow up questions.  She was well-rehearsed, and it showed.  She was, after all, in beauty pageants.  Except that she isn’t really looking for world peace.

What do you think?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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michele is udderly insane. get it?

Michele Allen was just trying to have a normal Saturday night.  So she ended up in a cow suit, chasing children, peeing on porches and getting arrested  Needless to say, she was schwasted.

(Middletown, OH) — Saturday night, people in the 3100 block of Wilbraham Road called police to report a woman wearing a cow costume was chasing kids, and blocking traffic. Michele Allen also allegedly urinated on the porch of one neighbor.
When officers arrived, they told her to go home. But later that night, they found her again, in the 2400 block of Verity, standing in traffic. This time, officers say, Allen smelled of alcohol and swore at them.
She was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.
Allen plead guilty, Monday morning, in Middletown Municipal Court, and sentenced to a month in jail.

This is a true story.  Apparently, she showed up to the hearing still in costume.  Haha!

Many questions come up when one thinks about this story.  Oddly enough, the first thing that came to my mind was how did she pee?  From the udders?  Or did she pop a squat and break character?  DC correspondent Chris raised a couple of other good questions.  Was she drunk before she put on the cow costume?  Or did she get drunk and then decide to frolic about in a cow costume?

I question her judgment either way.

Silly Michele.  If you had only waited until Halloween, you probably could have gotten through the night at least without being arrested.  Hell, scaring children in a cow costume while drunk and peeing on buildings that don’t belong to you might even be considered normal–at least on a college campus.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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