Category Archives: Uncategorized

by | September 2, 2008 · 6:45 am

omfg, gossip girl is back. xoxo.

So I quasi-live blogged the show with the hottest cast EVER, quasi-not.

Quick thoughts:

Croquet, pastels and cocktails.  It’s GG.  And it’s on crack–and by crack I mean the Hamptons.  Thirty seconds in and these crazy kids are already getting it on!  God I missed this show.  Rawr.  WHY WAS I NOT THAT HOT AT 16? Or 17.  Or 18.  Or 19…this is getting depressing.  Whatever.

Oooh Dunkin’ Donuts product placement on Rufus’ tour bus.  My New England trained eye could spot a DD logo anywhere.

Drama with Blair and “Chuck Basstard” about a pin. What is this? 1950? LAME.

Speaking of Chuck.  I think they’ve taken this “I’m Chuck Bass” thing a little too far.  Taking good characters from the first time around and putting them on steroids for all subsequent appearances is a common mistake.  I like to call it the Stifler Syndrome.  In the first American Pie movie, Stifler was absurd yet oddly believable.  And kind of funny.  I mean, he does get peed on.  With each AP movie, (AP 2, American Wedding) he became a caricature of himself and utterly obnoxious.  He is practically the star of American Wedding.  Teevee God (aka script writers and producers) help us.  I WANT OLD CHUCK BACK.

Let’s take a second to acknowledge Serena’s hair at the White Party.  She looked like a goddess, for sure.  But the hair was so over the top.  It looked like golden snakes wound in with the Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves lovechild hair extensions.  Her hair = a hot tranny mess.  Despite having hair of the Medusa persuasion, Blake Lively is stunning and I want to be her. (Blake and Penn–never ever ever ever break up.  Ya’ll are the new Seth and Summer/Adam and Rachel.  Don’t fail us like they did.)

I have a friend who believes Blair Waldorf is his soulmate.  Best of luck to you, friend, because a) she’s not real and b) this bitch is back in full force.  (Is it just me or did she look like she got into a nasty brawl with a spray tan booth?  Ummm Blair it was the White Party, not the Orange and White party.) And dating a British lord who pretended to be an American that went to Princeton so that people liked him for his pretentious, rich American elitist self and not his pretentious, rich British elitist self?  My mind is blown.  First of all, this makes me yearn for the days when Prince William was still a dreamboat (sigh).  But really, GG?  You’re going to give us all false hopes that this tomfoolery actually happens?  And that a British Lord wants me to like him for him and not just his title?  Disney already ruined me.  This might break me.

As Kristen Bell’s voice familiarly closed the episode with “You know you love me.  XOXO, Gossip Girl”, I have to say, I don’t think I did love this Gossip Girl.  The scripts were never good, but this was dreadful.  I love me some bad teevee shows and my expectations are wayyyyyy lower than they should be, but I at least expect the dialogue to be tolerable at best.

But the clothes were amazing.  And I’ll still watch next week.  Mission accomplished.

On another note, I am obsessed with the song played in the opening scene.  It is my new favorite summer/end of summer (wahhhhhhh) song and I am embarrassed.  I am embarrassed because one half of the band, Shwayze, is Mischa Barton’s ex-bf.  Remember Cisco Adler?  Yup.  Now he can be known for something other than looking like the younger brother of Weird Al and being the former lovah of the worst character on the OC and a Keds spokeswoman.  Basically this song is the 2008 version of LFO’s “Summer Girls”.  Stop judging me, jerks.

You know you love me.  XOXO,  Kathleen.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | September 1, 2008 · 5:10 pm

maybe mccain will be the godfather.

In the past few days there have been rumors that Sarah Palin’s youngest son, Trig, was actually her grandson, and liberal bloggers like yours truly were loving it. But now the truth is out. According to the latest news from the New York Times, it looks like Trig really is Palin’s son, but that Palin’s 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, is knocked up:

Bristol Palin, one of Alaska Gov. Palin’s five children with her husband, Todd, is about five months pregnant and is going to keep the child and marry the father, the Palins said in a statement released by the campaign of Republican presidential candidate John McCain.

Bristol Palin made the decision on her own to keep the baby, McCain aides said.

According to the McCain campaign, McCain knew about the pregnancy when he selected Palin as his VP but he had “decid[ed] that it did not disqualify the 44-year-old governor in any way.” I find it hard to believe that McCain knew about this situation and still picked Palin. Sure, it doesn’t “disqualify” her, but it sure as hell complicates things. For a hardcore Christian, morals-focused politician to have a 17-year-old pregnant daughter who clearly dallied in premarital sex — the horror! — is so not good for McCain. Which makes me think he really didn’t research this decision much, and instead just made a last-minute decision to choose Palin so that he could shake things up and look like the maverick he claims to be.

Things are looking better and better for our boy B.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | September 1, 2008 · 7:55 am

diamonds are a girl’s dead friend.

Everyone has their own way of grieving after a loved one has passed away, but this walks the thin line between “do what you need to do to get by” and “that’s really weird”.  I’m just going to say it the bluntest way possible, because I don’t know how else to explain it.  You can turn dead people’s ashes into diamonds.  Yup.  They’re called remembrance diamonds.  If this is something you think you might be interested in, a company in Switzerland, called Algordanza, will help you out.  Imagine all the awkwardness that this could prompt!

Woman 1:  Those diamond earrings you’re wearing are just GORGEOUS!  Did your husband buy those for your anniversary?

Woman 2:  Oh no!  It’s my Great Uncle Walter!  He just died a few months ago.

Woman 1:  Ahh, I see.  So the diamonds are a family heirloom?

Woman 2:  No, the diamonds are literally my Great Uncle Walter.

Woman 1:  Errr…did you get the sympathy card I sent you a few months back?

And this bling does not come cheap.  Reuters gives us a figure around $7,488…sometimes less, sometimes more.  Eeek.

So what are people doing with these diamonds?  Obviously they turn them into jewelry or keep them in a box.  But one widow had a touching idea–mount the diamond into the table where her hubby used to sit at the local pub.  Of course!  If I’m ever turned into a diamond, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE place me at The Cellar.  (If you went to Richmond, you know what I’m talking about.)

So how popular are these things?

In its first year, 2004, the company sold one diamond. These days it is creating about 60 a month, which Brimer attributes to word-of-mouth recommendations and media coverage, as Algordanza does not advertise.

I was discussing this with my manly, bearded friend Neil.  Neil, who is pursuing his Masters in Marketing or something weird like that, said he could come up with a good pitch for remembrance diamonds if given some time.  The world is waiting, Neil.  This should be a toughie.  I encourage all readers to think of witty advertising for this and to post it as a comment.  Maybe someone could convince Lindsay Lohan to wear one.  Or Lil’ Jon can put them in his teeth or something.  That’s sure to jumpstart the trend.

As if this couldn’t get creepier, the technology to make diamonds from ashes can also be applied to make synthetic diamonds from other materials…such as hair.  SICK.

Bobby Thurman — of Nelson Funeral Service in Arkansas, which offers diamonds to both burial and cremation clients — decided to have LifeGem make a diamond from combined samples of his own and his family’s hair.

“My family will cherish this diamond for generations, and I expect other families will want to do the same,” Thurman said.

I’m expect most families DO NOT want to do the same, Bobby.  But whatev.

I’m sorry for the morbid six word title/subject, but I couldn’t let this go by without sharing it.  And the title is kind of clever, no?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 31, 2008 · 7:29 am

samantha bee stings governor sarah palin.

As much as I want to, I can’t really hate Sarah Palin–oh don’t get me wrong–this has nothing to do with the bonds of sisterhood. I absolutely ABHOR her positions on, well, everything.  And her early 90s mall girl bangs. But she is so much fun to write about and make fun of that I can’t help but be slightly appreciative of her very existence.  And I’m not alone.  It’s like John McCain took his happy pills and threw us all a softball.  And leave it up to All-Star Jon Stewart to hit it out of the park.  Jon Stewart, you are my hero.

So watch this clip with Jon and Samantha Bee, a self described “Vagina-American” (HAHA!), as she oh-so-sarcastically talks about why she’ll vote for McCain.  You will for sure pick up some new anatomical terminology as well.  (I’m talking about lady parts.  Teehee.)

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Huzzah!

And here is some more Daily Show goodness, brought to my attention by Alicia, our South Korea correspondent.  What a warm/appropriate welcome for the RNCers!

PS- I promise I’ll start writing about non-political stuff (aka NOT Sarah Palin) again…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 29, 2008 · 6:51 pm

just six words and a picture.

Palin looks lovely in dead animal.

or

PETA: take a look at this!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 26, 2008 · 6:05 pm

a new party trick for you.

Okay folks, here’s a quick break from politics. So everybody knows the importance of a good party trick. I know, because I don’t have one–until now, thanks to DC correspondent Tim. And, to my great relief, it doesn’t involve alcohol and fire. Always a good combination. Ha! Anyway, this is wild. Enjoy and say “thank you, Tim”. You’ll now be the coolest kid at the party.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

UPDATE from Mallory: Sorry, folks, but it’s a hoax. Our dear NYC Correspondent, Mouse, tried to post this comment but for some reason it didn’t show up:

I was super excited about the popcorn post and did research… bad news:

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/tech/2008/07/09/carroll.cellphone.popcorn.cnn

Although I still thought it was cool because I’m a marketing geek.

According to Mouse, it was a viral marketing campaign for bluetooth headsets. If you don’t know what viral marketing is, then you were me five minutes ago. According to our expert, it’s “doing weird things to get people to start talking about things, without overtly advertising them.” Cool, right? Guess this one worked.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | August 25, 2008 · 12:11 pm

and this is just the beginning…

Readers, your favorite multiracial blogger (Kathleen) is on her way to Denver today, while I get to sit in bo-ring Washington DC and watch the action from afar. Sigh.

Looks like things are already off to a heated start in my beloved hometown. Take a look at this Fox News video, courtesy of Wonkette, which may be the greatest news clip in the history of the news:

Did you notice Griff stumbling backwards at the beginning of the clip? How about when he said “We got ahead of this marching…er, thing…”? And Griff’s general inability to get any sort of noteworthy information out of the crowd, because they all hate America and don’t believe in freedom of speech? Perhaps my favorite part is the title of this YouTube clip: “Anti-War Protesters Meance Intrepid Fox News Reporter!” Nice spelling, Fox fans. And intrepid? Really? For entering a crowd of stoned peace-loving college students and shouting “What’s your name?!” at them?

It’s going to be a fun week.

[Posted by Mallory]

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by | July 27, 2008 · 5:37 am

i love me some hemingways (plural).

A hearty SWTCTW congratulations to Floridian Tom Grizzard, who won this year’s prestigious Ernest Hemingway look-alike contest in Key West. It’s his eighth time competing. Eighth time’s the charm, buddy! He beat out 141 other Ernests for his prize, which is–well, come to think of it, it’s not stated in the article. But I’m sure it’s AWESOME. Maybe it’s the baller medallion hanging from his noble neck?  Where can I get me one of those?

And I thought this picture of all the Ernests was fantastic. So much passion! Got me all fired up!

But besides applauding Tom Grizzard for his innate, genetic inclination towards resembling a Nobel prize winning author, I wanted to post some quotes from our friend Ernest.

  • “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
  • “As you get older it is harder to have heroes, but it is sort of necessary.”
  • “Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.”
  • “There are events which are so great that if a writer has participated in them his obligation is to write truly rather than assume the presumption of altering them with invention.”
  • “The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.”

Okay, that’s enough. Enjoy.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 26, 2008 · 7:34 pm

here come the men in black.

So according to a former Apollo 14 (not 13) astronaut, aliens exist–they not only exist, they’ve visited us multiple times over the years, but our big, bad government has covered it up (a government conspiracy theory? Gasp! How revolutionary!). But not to fear, friends, because Dr. Edgar Mitchell assures us that if they were hostile and wanted us to be dead by now, we would be. Phew! The good doctor told all of this told all of this to Kerrang! radio. You can listen to the radio show here, or just read these quotes.

“I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we’ve been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real.”

“It’s been well covered up by all our governments for the last 60 years or so, but slowly it’s leaked out and some of us have been privileged to have been briefed on some of it.”

“I’ve been in military and intelligence circles, who know that beneath the surface of what has been public knowledge, yes – we have been visited. Reading the papers recently, it’s been happening quite a bit.”

Wow, he sounds–to use his word AGAIN, privileged. Here’s some more good news. Aliens look EXACTLY like we expected them to! Big eyes, big heads, and small bodies. And who doesn’t like being right?

Now, I know it isn’t my place to judge or say what is real and what is not (but this blog is 50% mine and I’m going to do what I want, duh). And despite the fact that Dr. Mitchell did a moonwalk and is very smart, I think he’s being a tad bit moony about this. I mean, come on. Aliens? Really? But then again, if you’ve ever been to a Waffle House between the hours of 11 p.m. and 5 a.m., it is convincing. There are some strange looking folks there…

Anyway, I did some thinking and made a list of aliens I wouldn’t mind running into and those I would. Here are some that I would feel fairly okay about:

Here are those that would most likely upset me:

And finally, the scariest of all:

Ugh. And just because I’m feeling frisky, here is a music video featuring a really talented alien:

Let me see you just bounce with me, just bounce with me, just bounce with me. Come on just slide with me, now slide with me…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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by | July 26, 2008 · 6:26 pm

youtube clip of today: last lecture.

Last year, Professor Randy Pausch gave his final lecture at Carnegie Mellon. Pausch, a computer science professor, had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given just a month or so. He died on Friday. Here is the video of his moving last lecture, titled, “Achieving Your Childhood Dreams”. This lecture became an internet sensation, a book, and Pausch even made an appearance on Oprah.

While over 400 people attended his original lecture and millions have since heard his speech, he said his message was ultimately for his three children. He wrote in his book:

“I was trying to put myself in a bottle that would one day wash up on the beach for my children.”

How eloquent is that?

RIP Randy Pausch, thank you for your wisdom. He said, “If I don’t seem as depressed or morose as I should be, sorry to disappoint you.” You didn’t disappoint, Randy, you inspired.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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