I mentioned last week that I was starting to get a leetle sick of Gossip Girl. The plot was getting sort of boring — and by boring I mean less deliciously crappy — and I was losing interest. But tonight, folks, my favorite guilty pleasure redeemed itself. There is so much new scandal and I love it!
Dan had a new girlfriend who sucked a lot and then the girlfriend turned out to be working for the Chuck Basstard! The Lord and the Duchess were hooking up! Jenny’s hair still looks so brittle that I’m worried she might be anorexic in real life! And, most importantly, Serena is eeeevil again. Mwhaha!
Also, Nate is still prettier than I ever hope to be…
Give me your eyelashes, fool!
In other news, I’m totally loving the new iPod song, “Bruises,” by Chairlift. I’m a sucker for a good song from an Apple commercial (right, KTray?).
Once something newsworthy happens that isn’t financial (because, remember, I just don’t understand that stuff. And I have no money to lose, so it’s hard for me to try to understand…), I promise I’ll stop writing exclusively about Gossip Girl.
Remember Jennifer Moss? I wrote about her a few months ago. She was the lady who just wanted to patriotically parade in Oregon on Independence Day riding a bike, sans clothing? Ahh, now you remember. Well, she did have a hemp g-string…so she wasn’t totally nakey. Sheeeeeeeee’s back! And this time around, her name is being spelled by the press with a G. So she’s Gennifer Moss. No word on how that happened.
Anyway, she had a run in with the PoPo after construction workers–yes, construction workers (PRUDES!)–complained about her affinity for nude in-line skating. Ummm…hello? Do these men have mutated genetic codes? I’m totally baffled.
From the Oregonian:
“We confronted her and told her that she couldn’t expose her genitalia,” said police spokeswoman Cathe Kent. “She complied.”
In other words, she whipped out a string bikini bottom and continued on her only slightly less Lady Godiva-like way.
Haha, that a girl, Gen!
The police said most of the calls they received from people other than the prudish construction workers weren’t complaints about her lack of clothing, but rather her personal safety. Awww! There is good in this world.
She now also goes by the nickname, Earth Friend Gen. And she has her own MySpace channel. Yes, she is naked in some of the videos, you sick group of perverts. Watch the videos here. She also posted pictures of herself…yes, naked as well. One of the captions says, “I love being naked and free!” No doubt about that, EFG.
Oh, Gennifer! She’s totally cra-crazy, but you do have to admire her spirit. Keeping rockin’ out with your boobs out, lady. Whether that means riding a bike in a hemp g-string leading a group of skaters while blowing on a conch shell (FACT. She actually wanted to do that) or letting all hang out while you skate around. You’re kind of cool.
Travis, the drummer from Blink-182, and DJ AM, a singer-songwriter who was once engaged to Nicole Richie, were in a plane crash late last night. Four people died in the crash, but Travis and DJ AM (whose real name is Adam Goldstein) survived. Both are in critical condition, according to their spokespeople. They have been touring together as TRVSDJ-AM and played a show that day in Columbia, South Carolina. Read the news story here.
Get well soon, guys. Please.
UPDATED: There has been much speculation as to the other people who died. Two were the pilots, but the names of the other two have not yet been released. It has been confirmed that Gavin DeGraw was NOT one of the passengers, nor was Perry Farrell of Jane’s Addiction.
So yesterday I’m just driving along, listening to my beloved iPod, when “Hand In My Pocket” by my beloved Alanis comes on. This time, however, was different from the 500,000 other times I listened to it. I still sang poorly and confused the verses, but this time the song really resonated with me. I mean REALLY resonated. So I put that shiz on repeat. Alanis and her harmonica were slaying me. Then it hit me. Uh oh. I am now an angsty 20-something and Alanis’ music actually applies to me. (And everyone else, but you know what I mean.)
I began to evaluate my life. I’m very happy, yet emo at the same time. I’m with someone who finds my jokes tolerable (I’m funnnnny!), I’m working on a campaign (trying to be an agent of change and save the world) and living at home (if you live at home post-college, there is no explanation needed), going to South America post Election Day (backpacking around in hopes of finding some adventure), and hopefully going to grad school next fall (read: I’m not entirely sure what I want to do in life other than see the world and blog. But this will buy me some more time. Kidding…kind of.)
But who cares? No big deal. I want mooooooooooooooooooooooooooore.
That being said, I come up with a new plan every day. Two days ago, I decided I wanted to become an alpaca farmer. Seriously. I saw some Alpacas at a local fair and fell in love with the little bucktoothed buggers. They’re completely heinous and totally hilarious. What can I say? I have an affinity for inner beauty. I took a picture of one. He is my new muse:
Cute, right?
I’m all over the place. Just tonight I have looked at jobs with National Geographic, HuffingtonPost, and political consulting firms. Three weeks ago I envisioned myself moving to Seattle. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow I’ll decide to go to med school. Or maybe I can just get a pair of scrubs and pretend…
While this is definitely my quarter life crisis, I don’t think it’s unhealthy. I’m in no real hurry. I am, in fact, only 22–although I feel like a dinosaur when I get Facebooked by people born in the 1990s. I’ve still got a lot of questions that need to be answered. Like, what is a fire, and why does it…what’s the word…burrrrrrrrrrrrn. (That’s two Little Mermaid references in one post. Heyyyyo.)
When I do settle down, I’ll be ready for it. And like I said before, I’m happy right now. I’d try and describe how I feel some more (it’s half my blog I can talk about feelings all I want!), but hey, Alanis puts it best.
And what it all boils down to
Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything’s just fine fine fine
’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab.
On top of the ticket, that is. Here she is at a rally yesterday talking about “a Palin and McCain Administration”. Errr…ummm…pssst, Sarah. Sarah? When you are running for the number two spot (God save us all), you usually put the presidential nominee’s name first and then your own. It’s just common courtesy.
I don’t have a lot to write about right now, because the only things going on in the world are the Second Great Depression and Sarah Palin. I don’t understand the economy, and I’m sick of talking about Palin, so I’ve got nothing. And I mean, Kathleen already stole the best story of the day.
But I want to post SOMETHING so let’s all listen to my new favorite song, “She Moves In Her Own Way,” by The Kooks. Those of you who know me: picture the song as if it’s about me. Picture me dancing to it, moving in MY own way. Which is to say, extremely awkwardly. Now didn’t that bring a smile to your face?
Also, isn’t the title a great six word memoir? Quick, somebody claim it and make it their own!
Ahoy mateys! Avast! Today, September 19, is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. (For the official Web site, click here.) Though not a Federal holiday, today is special in the salty hearts of many. Arrrrrrr ye ready fer it? First, go here to get your new pirate name. And now, here are some pirate jokes, compliments of piratejokes.net.
Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C!
Q: What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty
Haha. Shiver me timbers, those are bad! But in that awesomely bad way. Right?
So have a Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, me hearties. Here’s some lingo for you. Easy on the pillaging!
If I could have any job in the world, I would like to own a candy store or a cupcake shop. Maybe an ice cream parlor. Something along those lines.
I’ve thought this for a long time. There is pretty much no happier place in the world than one of these shops. In high school, I used to work in a WONDERFUL candy store during the holiday season, and I loved every second of it. No one is ever pissed off while they’re buying candy. And if you work at a candy store, you get to nibble everything for free. Helloooo heaven.
The reason this comes up today is that my friends and I just discovered our own little piece of heaven in Georgetown: Georgetown Cupcake. Please just look at their website/menu and be jealous. We were wandering towards M Street to get coffee, and then, like a vision, this cupcake store appeared. I’d heard of it before, but I didn’t know that it was AROUND THE CORNER from our program’s headquarters. Which means I will probably go there every day. Which means next time you see me, I’ll have gained 200 pounds but I’ll be a lot happier.
Now everyone go eat a cupcake and get excited that it’s almost Friday.
To commemorate the return of The Office in just one short week (yay! Jim Halpert!), I am posting this amazing video. So watch it. It will make you feel warm and tingly inside…that’s what she said?
Former minor league baseball player and “actor” Joseph Petcka killed his girlfriend’s cat. (His girlfriend, well let me make an assumption and say EX-girlfriend, is Sports Illustrated writer Lisa Altobelli.) Why would anyone do that? Well according to court papers, he yelled “You love that cat more than me!”. Whoa. That is absolutely pathetic on his part. And then he kicked poor Norman the cat to death. The terrible story should end there, but it doesn’t. Today is the start of Petcka’s trial and here is what he says. Killing 7 lb. Norman was–and I am not making this up–self defense. Norman was apparently biting him. Wahhhh wahhhh, Joseph. Grow a pair and then grow up. You aren’t a man, you’re a monster.
six words to change the world. 