Why oh why is this song not played on the radio?
“He taught me how to praise my God and still play rock and roll”. PRICELESS. Umm…rock and roll? Rock on, Sonseed.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Author Archives: K
her virginity’s going, going, almost gone
In case you haven’t heard the absurd news, “Natalie Dylan”, a 22-year-old from California, is is auctioning off her virginity to pay for her education. Gut reaction: EWWW. She uses the name Natalie Dylan as a pseudonym for, as she put it, “safety reasons”. (But gets interviewed by The Insider–so everyone can see what she looks like. I think, Natalie, someone is going to know who you are and how to find you…click here to watch the video.)
Safety? SAFETY?! I think safety was thrown out the window when she decided she’d have consensual sex with the highest bidder. Umm…have you seen Law and Order: SVU? There are some serious creep monsters out there. I don’t want to think about the legal mess that could occur should, God forbid, something bad happen to her.
“Through this process I’m not just looking for the highest bidder,” she said, Us magazine reported. “I’m looking for someone who is a genuine, overall nice person.”
But she also says she’s looking to get at least a million. Does she think Prince Charming is going to come along and drop a cool mil just to be nice and help her out? The auction, by the way, is going to be at Nevada’s famous brothel, The Moonlight Bunny Ranch. Yeah, she’s sure to meet a winner there. eBay, for the record, said no to the auction.
So there’s the whole safety thing that should make any woman scream no and consider life in a convent instead. But Natalie calls her decision “empowering”. I’m not going to go on a feminist rant, because I think the argument can be made against this without even bringing up feminism.
Okay, Natalie, I get that you want to pay for your education. I have loans too. And will have more when if I get into grad school (keep your fingers crossed for me). But here’s the thing. I would argue that in selling your virginity to pay for your academic education, you are selling yourself short in the life education department. Here’s what Dennis Hof, owner of The Moonlight Bunny Ranch, thinks:
“I think it’s a tremendous idea. Why lose it to some guy in the backseat of a Toyota when you can pay for your education?”
Tremendous idea, eh, Dennis? Well you know what? Sometimes some guy in the back of a car can be really meaningful. Far more meaningful than sex for money ever will be.
And somehow, I’ll still manage to pay for my education. Ironically, Natalie wants to pursue her master’s degree in marriage and family therapy–that’s a decent career. She should make enough money in her lifetime to pay back her loans the old fashioned way.
And here’s the final reason Natalie shouldn’t go through with her plan. Her mom thinks it’s a bad idea.
What are your thoughts?
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under definitely not politics, money, news, pop culture, random, sex, Uncategorized
i could yearbook myself all day.
I have found probably the most entertaining Web site since Cake Wrecks. Seriously. www.yearbookyourself.com is so funny, that you pass it on to everyone you know. And I am passing this internet gem on to you.
Enjoy.
Looking fiiiiiiiine in 1964.
Super cute in 1976.
Ummm…1986…I look like…NOOOOOOO.
And as if my self confidence needed one more final blow, here I am, in 1996.
Saucy.
Send your best yearbook pictures to sixwordstochangetheworld@gmail.com.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under definitely not politics, humor, pop culture, random, Uncategorized
law and order makes us fat.
According to a recent study, I could place the blame on Law and Order and all 17 of its spin-offs for the fact that I eat a lot. I’m not kidding. Law and Order, and other crime shows, apparently makes us eat a lot. I am an avid Law and Order fan–uh oh.
In the study, titled “The Sweet Escape,” researchers conducted four experiments revealing that “consumers who have been recently reminded of their own impending mortality” spend more on groceries — and actually eat more of those groceries.
Oooh, clever title. Anyway, Law and Order and others are the catalysts for reminding us of our own impending mortality? What? Whatev.
“We found that when people think about the fact that they’re going to die someday — not now, but someday — they want to consume more of everything,” says Naomi Mandel, co-author of the study and an associate professor of marketing at Arizona State University. “We find this with snacks and drinks but also all kinds of different foods: frozen foods, meats, vegetables, everything.”
And they connect this to Law and Order. I can’t believe they spent money on this study. I have, in my opinion, a better theory to explain the connection between snacking and Law and Order. None of this “impending death” mumbo jumbo.
Let’s look back to the experiments of scientist Ivan Pavlov. He is known for his work with dogs, making them salivate at the sound of a bell. Basically, it has to do with mental association. He would ring a bell and give the dogs food. Eventually, they would salivate at the sound of the bell with or without food present.
People like to snack when watching TV, right? So swap out a bell for the signature Law and Order gavel DunDun noise and take away the food…voila! We have been trained liked Pavlov’s dogs to feel hungry while watching Law and Order. And being that Law and Order is on 22 out of the 24 hours in a day, this training does not take long to do. Really, all it takes is one week of being sick and watching TV all day every day, or just a few weeks of watching one or two episodes a night.
That, my friends, is why we eat when we watch Law and Order. That is why Law and Order makes us fat.
Just for fun, here is Sesame Street’s parody of Law and Order: SVU, Law and Order: Special Letters Unit.
Oh, and just because The Office is the BEST SHOW EVER and Jim is dreamy, dreamy, oh so steamy and smart, here is his Pavlov’s dogs trick on Dwight:
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, definitely not politics, food, humor, news, pop culture, random, TV, Uncategorized, YouTube
i’d choose barbie over sarah palin.
Oh wooohoooo. Now you can buy a Superhero Sarah Palin doll. Umm, that’s great. Since this election is no longer about issues and rather that Palin is a Vagina-American and is hot in the Tina Fey way, let’s be superficial for a minute. Who wants a supposedly feminine doll with G.I. Joe man thighs? Come on guys, Barbie’s got better legs for sure.
See?
Intimidated by the Thunder Thighs Palin doll? (Yeah, me too) Try this one–naughty school girl Sarah Palin.
Yet again, I’d choose Barbie. Or better yet, the one responsible for bringing back the naughty school girl image–the one and only, Britney Spears doll.
Yup, she’s better than Palin too.
Here is the final Sarah Palin doll the company, http://www.herobulder.com, offers. Vice Presidential Sarah Palin:
Well, Barbie one-upped Sarah Palin in two ways here. First, Barbie is running for Prez and second, Barbie looks FABULOUS.
That was fun, but let’s take it back to the issues. I bet Barbie would stand up for the rights of women more than Palin. I bet Barbie would support birth control and a woman’s privacy, I bet Barbie wouldn’t make women pay for their own rape kits, I bet Barbie wouldn’t make Skipper have the baby even if she was raped, I bet Barbie wouldn’t be on a ticket with Ken if he didn’t support equal pay for women…okay…you get my point.
Really, I’d take Barbie over Sarah Palin.
Oh, and one more thing. These dolls are on sale.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under humor, politics, pop culture, random, Uncategorized
pigs fly and fat ladies sing.
Breathe deep, friends. I have some shocking news. The unthinkable has happened.
The 99 Cents Only Store, hailed by everyone themselves as “the oldest single-price point retail chain in the United States” (lots of competition for that title, I’m sure) is now making a mockery out of its name. And by a mockery, I mean that prices are going up and not all items in the store will be 99 cents. WHAT? EXCUSE ME? This is, for sure, a tragedy. What, or rather who, is to blame? Let’s examine the usual suspects… The bad economy? George Bush? Global warming? Nope.
Shoplifters.
So let me get this straight. You shop at a 99 Cents Only Store because you are cheap. But because the cheapest of the cheap are stealing from the store for the cheap, those of us who are just cheap (but still have integrity) must suffer? Eek! My brain hurts.
What are they going to do now? Become ‘The Store Formerly Known As The 99 Cents Only Store’? That maketing strategy worked for Prince. Having every item in the store under a dollar is their best marketing strategy. And as annoying (and impractical) as pennies are, there is a certain gratification when you get change back at a 99 cents store.
The world will never be the same. Or you could just go to Dollar Tree.
PS- Like the beautiful graphic I created to go along with this post? I worked on it for hours…
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under humor, money, news, pop culture, random, Uncategorized
youtube clip of today: palin kids.
Piper, girrrrrrrrrrrl I know how you feel. I play with hair when I’m listening to boring speeches too. But I typically do not use spit. Whatev.
Watching this video, you kind of have to say “awwww”. It’s really not those poor Palin children’s fault that their mother is an embarrassment to politics.
[Posted by Kathleen]
just six words and a picture.
Legs crossed, hands folded, titled heads.
or
Two Stepfords and a moose-eating governor.
or
OMG, Cindy McCain has orange legs.
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under humor, politics, pop culture, six word memoirs
movie trailers won’t be the same.
RIP Don LaFontaine, the man with a voice that made us want to see every movie…even if we didn’t know why. LaFontaine, who was 68, lent his voice to over 5,000 movie trailers and 750,000 teevee spots in a 33 year career. Damnnnnn. I think this is a nice picture.
Here’s Don working his magic in the Geico commerical:
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under celebrities, movies, news, pop culture, random, RIP, YouTube
americans elect poodle to white house.
Well, not exactly. But even if they did, a poodle would have more experience than Sarah Palin. SNAP.
Here’s the real story. Barack and Michelle promised precious Malia and Sasha that after the election they would get a puppy. Aww! So the American Kennel Club held an election–42,000 people voted–to see what breed should be the presidential pup. And the poodle won. Apparently the Obamas have allergies (just like my family! Talk about identity politics…), so that helped narrow down the breeds to choose from. I’ve been following this story for awhile, because the Chinese Crested Hairless was one of the options. For those who know me or have read the blog before, I am the proud owner of a hairless dog. My baby boy, Dr. Seuss, is perfect. Look how cute Chinese Crested puppies are:
Yeah, you want one too. PUT BARACK OBAMA AND A CHINESE CRESTED IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
Oh, and they didn’t hold an election for a pet for old Johnny. This is because he and Cindy already have–I am not making this up–24 pets. So that’s 3.4285714 pets per house?
[Posted by Kathleen]
Filed under animals, news, politics, random, Uncategorized
six words to change the world. 