Category Archives: random

americans elect poodle to white house.

Well, not exactly.  But even if they did, a poodle would have more experience than Sarah Palin.  SNAP.

Here’s the real story.  Barack and Michelle promised precious Malia and Sasha that after the election they would get a puppy.  Aww!  So the American Kennel Club held an election–42,000 people voted–to see what breed should be the presidential pup.  And the poodle won.  Apparently the Obamas have allergies (just like my family!  Talk about identity politics…), so that helped narrow down the breeds to choose from.  I’ve been following this story for awhile, because the Chinese Crested Hairless was one of the options.  For those who know me or have read the blog before, I am the proud owner of a hairless dog.  My baby boy, Dr. Seuss, is perfect.  Look how cute Chinese Crested puppies are:

Yeah, you want one too.  PUT BARACK OBAMA AND A CHINESE CRESTED IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

Oh, and they didn’t hold an election for a pet for old Johnny.  This is because he and Cindy already have–I am not making this up–24 pets.  So that’s 3.4285714 pets per house?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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omfg, gossip girl is back. xoxo.

So I quasi-live blogged the show with the hottest cast EVER, quasi-not.

Quick thoughts:

Croquet, pastels and cocktails.  It’s GG.  And it’s on crack–and by crack I mean the Hamptons.  Thirty seconds in and these crazy kids are already getting it on!  God I missed this show.  Rawr.  WHY WAS I NOT THAT HOT AT 16? Or 17.  Or 18.  Or 19…this is getting depressing.  Whatever.

Oooh Dunkin’ Donuts product placement on Rufus’ tour bus.  My New England trained eye could spot a DD logo anywhere.

Drama with Blair and “Chuck Basstard” about a pin. What is this? 1950? LAME.

Speaking of Chuck.  I think they’ve taken this “I’m Chuck Bass” thing a little too far.  Taking good characters from the first time around and putting them on steroids for all subsequent appearances is a common mistake.  I like to call it the Stifler Syndrome.  In the first American Pie movie, Stifler was absurd yet oddly believable.  And kind of funny.  I mean, he does get peed on.  With each AP movie, (AP 2, American Wedding) he became a caricature of himself and utterly obnoxious.  He is practically the star of American Wedding.  Teevee God (aka script writers and producers) help us.  I WANT OLD CHUCK BACK.

Let’s take a second to acknowledge Serena’s hair at the White Party.  She looked like a goddess, for sure.  But the hair was so over the top.  It looked like golden snakes wound in with the Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves lovechild hair extensions.  Her hair = a hot tranny mess.  Despite having hair of the Medusa persuasion, Blake Lively is stunning and I want to be her. (Blake and Penn–never ever ever ever break up.  Ya’ll are the new Seth and Summer/Adam and Rachel.  Don’t fail us like they did.)

I have a friend who believes Blair Waldorf is his soulmate.  Best of luck to you, friend, because a) she’s not real and b) this bitch is back in full force.  (Is it just me or did she look like she got into a nasty brawl with a spray tan booth?  Ummm Blair it was the White Party, not the Orange and White party.) And dating a British lord who pretended to be an American that went to Princeton so that people liked him for his pretentious, rich American elitist self and not his pretentious, rich British elitist self?  My mind is blown.  First of all, this makes me yearn for the days when Prince William was still a dreamboat (sigh).  But really, GG?  You’re going to give us all false hopes that this tomfoolery actually happens?  And that a British Lord wants me to like him for him and not just his title?  Disney already ruined me.  This might break me.

As Kristen Bell’s voice familiarly closed the episode with “You know you love me.  XOXO, Gossip Girl”, I have to say, I don’t think I did love this Gossip Girl.  The scripts were never good, but this was dreadful.  I love me some bad teevee shows and my expectations are wayyyyyy lower than they should be, but I at least expect the dialogue to be tolerable at best.

But the clothes were amazing.  And I’ll still watch next week.  Mission accomplished.

On another note, I am obsessed with the song played in the opening scene.  It is my new favorite summer/end of summer (wahhhhhhh) song and I am embarrassed.  I am embarrassed because one half of the band, Shwayze, is Mischa Barton’s ex-bf.  Remember Cisco Adler?  Yup.  Now he can be known for something other than looking like the younger brother of Weird Al and being the former lovah of the worst character on the OC and a Keds spokeswoman.  Basically this song is the 2008 version of LFO’s “Summer Girls”.  Stop judging me, jerks.

You know you love me.  XOXO,  Kathleen.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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hello labor day, goodbye white pants.

Happy Labor Day, ya’ll!  I hope you’re enjoying the three day weekend!  As I was contemplating how I DO NOT have today off, I realized that I had no clue as to the real meaning and history of Labor Day (Wiki that) other than it’s the end of summer (wahhhh) and I can’t wear white until Memorial Day.  Ugh.  This is especially distressing to me because I have a killer pair of white pants that I didn’t get to show off this summer.  Well, I tried to show them off.  What happened to me was very traumatic.  No, I didn’t spill anything on them.  It’s even worse.

I realized that time was running out, so I brought said pants to Denver, for the D amazing NC.  Saving the best for last, I waited until Thursday to wear them.  So I woke up a little late on Thursday and got dressed.  White pants, classy black top.  I felt good.  Like vintage J-Lo.  My mother walks into the hotel room.  She’s wearing white pants and a classy black top.  A wave of panic hit me harder than when the Spice Girls broke up.  It’s okay to admire your mother–it is not okay to dress like your mother.  At least not when you’re 22!  Am I becoming my mother?!  I thought I had more time before the transformation took place!  Haha.  In vain she tried to tell me it would be alright, that nobody would notice.  But I could already feel the judgmental eyes on me as I walked next to her on the street.  I’d even mock me.  I quickly changed into an inferior outfit, and the white pants were thrust back into my suitcase, untouched by the summer sun.

Yup, that’s it.  I have been trying to think of some way to turn my white pants story into an allegory of sorts, but I’m afraid it’s too shallow for that.  There is, perhaps, some message here.  I might have better off if I had just listened to my mother and worn the white pants.  Or more likely, it didn’t matter at all.  🙂  Yes, I just emoticoned.  What of it?

While today is not its official end, I hope that you all had a lovely summer.  It went by so fast, didn’t it?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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diamonds are a girl’s dead friend.

Everyone has their own way of grieving after a loved one has passed away, but this walks the thin line between “do what you need to do to get by” and “that’s really weird”.  I’m just going to say it the bluntest way possible, because I don’t know how else to explain it.  You can turn dead people’s ashes into diamonds.  Yup.  They’re called remembrance diamonds.  If this is something you think you might be interested in, a company in Switzerland, called Algordanza, will help you out.  Imagine all the awkwardness that this could prompt!

Woman 1:  Those diamond earrings you’re wearing are just GORGEOUS!  Did your husband buy those for your anniversary?

Woman 2:  Oh no!  It’s my Great Uncle Walter!  He just died a few months ago.

Woman 1:  Ahh, I see.  So the diamonds are a family heirloom?

Woman 2:  No, the diamonds are literally my Great Uncle Walter.

Woman 1:  Errr…did you get the sympathy card I sent you a few months back?

And this bling does not come cheap.  Reuters gives us a figure around $7,488…sometimes less, sometimes more.  Eeek.

So what are people doing with these diamonds?  Obviously they turn them into jewelry or keep them in a box.  But one widow had a touching idea–mount the diamond into the table where her hubby used to sit at the local pub.  Of course!  If I’m ever turned into a diamond, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE place me at The Cellar.  (If you went to Richmond, you know what I’m talking about.)

So how popular are these things?

In its first year, 2004, the company sold one diamond. These days it is creating about 60 a month, which Brimer attributes to word-of-mouth recommendations and media coverage, as Algordanza does not advertise.

I was discussing this with my manly, bearded friend Neil.  Neil, who is pursuing his Masters in Marketing or something weird like that, said he could come up with a good pitch for remembrance diamonds if given some time.  The world is waiting, Neil.  This should be a toughie.  I encourage all readers to think of witty advertising for this and to post it as a comment.  Maybe someone could convince Lindsay Lohan to wear one.  Or Lil’ Jon can put them in his teeth or something.  That’s sure to jumpstart the trend.

As if this couldn’t get creepier, the technology to make diamonds from ashes can also be applied to make synthetic diamonds from other materials…such as hair.  SICK.

Bobby Thurman — of Nelson Funeral Service in Arkansas, which offers diamonds to both burial and cremation clients — decided to have LifeGem make a diamond from combined samples of his own and his family’s hair.

“My family will cherish this diamond for generations, and I expect other families will want to do the same,” Thurman said.

I’m expect most families DO NOT want to do the same, Bobby.  But whatev.

I’m sorry for the morbid six word title/subject, but I couldn’t let this go by without sharing it.  And the title is kind of clever, no?

[Posted by Kathleen]

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samantha bee stings governor sarah palin.

As much as I want to, I can’t really hate Sarah Palin–oh don’t get me wrong–this has nothing to do with the bonds of sisterhood. I absolutely ABHOR her positions on, well, everything.  And her early 90s mall girl bangs. But she is so much fun to write about and make fun of that I can’t help but be slightly appreciative of her very existence.  And I’m not alone.  It’s like John McCain took his happy pills and threw us all a softball.  And leave it up to All-Star Jon Stewart to hit it out of the park.  Jon Stewart, you are my hero.

So watch this clip with Jon and Samantha Bee, a self described “Vagina-American” (HAHA!), as she oh-so-sarcastically talks about why she’ll vote for McCain.  You will for sure pick up some new anatomical terminology as well.  (I’m talking about lady parts.  Teehee.)

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Huzzah!

And here is some more Daily Show goodness, brought to my attention by Alicia, our South Korea correspondent.  What a warm/appropriate welcome for the RNCers!

PS- I promise I’ll start writing about non-political stuff (aka NOT Sarah Palin) again…

[Posted by Kathleen]

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michael jackson is an old man.

Michael Jackson turns 50 today. Out of sheer classiness, I am going to refrain from making jokes about young boys (but it’s difficult). But I will post his quote:

“I feel very wise and sage, but at the same time very young.”

Wise? Nah. Sage? For sure no. But he feels young? I believe him.

And just for kicks, here’s a slideshow of M.J. through the years. My my my, he’s changed:

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/CelebrityCafePhotos/popup?id=793259

[Posted by Kathleen]

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just six words and a picture.

Palin looks lovely in dead animal.

or

PETA: take a look at this!

[Posted by Kathleen]

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hillary should be mad at sarah.

In a blatant attempt to bring in the female vote, Sarah Palin, in her acceptance speech, tied herself to Democrats Geraldine Ferraro and Hillary Clinton simply because she is a woman.

Sarah Palin undercut Geraldine Ferraro and Hillary Clinton by acknowledging them only as women, and not as brillliant minds with bright ideas. Shame on her. The thing about Hillary is that she was proud about being a woman, but she became frustrated when that was all people talked about. Hillary Clinton stands for women’s rights and women’s choice. McCain voted against equal pay for women. McCain voted against funding for victims of domestic violence. I could go on and on. If gender is your big issue, then just know that this man votes against women. And Sarah Palin is standing right next to him.

I can’t wait for Hillary’s statement.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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david duchovny’s life imitates his art.

Your SWTCTW bloggers (and beloved friends) love the show ‘Californication’. For those of you who do not know the show, it’s basically Hank Moody (David Duchovny’s character) having sex with anything that walks. That sounds crass, but it’s a really witty, well-written show that actually has a plot. As you can imagine, I’ve been a leeeeeeeeetle preoccupied singing ‘Kumbaya’ with my fellow Democrats and have been neglecting all other news. So I was surprised/unsurprised to read that Duchovny is going into rehab for a sex addiction. Uh oh. That can’t be good. Here is D’s statement to People Magazine:

“I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.”

He’s married to Téa Leoni. Shame on you for being a dirty boy, David. And it’s sad that life imitates art. But here’s the difference: Hank would nevah evah go to rehab for a sex addiction to try and get better.

[Posted by Kathleen]

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sarah palin is mccain’s vp choice.

Interesting choice McCain. Sarah Palin is the governor of Alaska. And it’s so blatantly obvious that you’re fishing for Hilllllllz voters. But remember that sexism that Hillary faced? Yup. You’re going to alienate some of your base. Oh, and remember how you criticized Barack for being young and inexperienced? She hasn’t finished her first term as governor as Alaska. Hmmm. Is she ready to lead? Let the hypocrisy begin.

Okay, I chose a bad picture.

So she is kind of hot in that Tina Fey way. But Sarah Palin, I’d rather see Tina Fey in the White House than you. And Tina would never have those heinous bangs.

One last thought. If I were her, I’d be a little insulted. Because they don’t want her because of her, they chose her because she’s a woman and they’re aching to take away from Barack’s thunder.

UPDATED: Sarah Palin is under investigation for abuse of power. Click here to read the AP story.

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